[0:00]If you're in your early 20s, you have no idea what you're doing, and it seems like everyone else has their life together, congratulations. We are the same. No, but seriously, I just turned 24 and I can literally feel my frontal lobe developing.
[0:11]And it got me thinking, why aren't people more real on the internet? Like, why has it taken me 24 years to learn these lessons the hard way?
[0:19]So, as your internet big sis, I'm going to give you the life secrets I wish someone had told me when I was 18. If you're feeling lost in your career, relationships, health, and personal life, stick with me because what I'm about to share with you has cost me blood, sweat and tears, and I don't want that for you. So here we go. This is 24 years worth of knowledge, I wish I knew sooner.
[0:37]Number one, you are always in the driver's seat. You have always had 100% control of your life, but it doesn't feel like that sometimes because you blame other people or things for your outcomes.
[0:48]It's your parent's fault, your school's fault, your boss's fault. But here's the reality. Where you are right now and how you feel is 100% your fault.
[0:57]You have always had the power to make a change or turn your life around. You've never needed to wait for permission. But that's the narrative you've been telling yourself. You are not a victim, you are not weak, you are not incapable. Stop letting other people take the wheel. Steer your own ship.
[1:12]Number two, no one is coming to save you. When I was younger, I would often look to other people to tell me the answer. I would ask my mom, what should I do? Ask my friends, what should I do? Ask my boyfriend, what should I do? I tried to find solutions everywhere else because I didn't trust myself to make good decisions.
[1:30]And a lot of that comes from childhood and people telling me what they think is best for my life. But no matter how good someone else's advice is, they will never be you. So if you're waiting around, hoping that an answer or a solution is going to fall into your lap, it won't. You are the solution to your own problems.
[1:47]You can ask as many people as you want for their opinions, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because you have to do what's best for you.
[1:54]Number three, don't rely on a man, build up your own wealth. Girls, do not listen to these women on social media, telling you to marry the rich guy because they're going to provide for you. Being a sugar baby is just a glorified escort.
[2:06]I don't know about you, but I want to marry the guy I'm actually in love with. Not the one who just pays for my dinner and treats me like trash. But even if you have a good guy who says he loves you and he'll take care of you, you still need to build up your own wealth. Do not give up your status in the relationship.
[2:20]Money is power. In the real world, whoever has the most capital and assets has the most influence. So empower yourself and make your own living. Yes, your man can still pay for your dinner and treat you like a princess, as he should.
[2:32]But you don't know what the future is going to look like. Something could happen, he could lose everything. And if you have a backup plan, you'll be able to cover yourself, no problem.
[2:40]Number four, take your supplements. This year, I have taken huge measures for my nutrition and energy because, girl, it is not normal to be tired all the time. Like, don't just accept being exhausted.
[2:51]Fatigue is really just a symptom of an underlying issue, and usually it's because you have nutritional deficiencies. So do the blood work, figure out what you're lacking and supplement. The food we eat is not as nutrient dense as it used to be.
[3:04]Most of our food these days is ultra processed, full of random chemicals, and even the soil our plants are grown in is depleted because of industrial agriculture. So everyone should really be supplementing to compensate. I'm talking vitamin D, zinc, magnesium, vitamin B-complex, start with those.
[3:21]Number five, nothing is ever what it seems on the outside. Listen, if you are still being fooled by social media, wake up. But I'm not talking about the AI videos, because I still get fooled by those. I'm talking about the aesthetics. 90% of what you see is not reality.
[3:35]As an influencer, I will tell you straight up that it's an influencer's job to make their life appear a certain way. Money is involved, brands are involved. So a lot of what you see is being monetized.
[3:47]Now, I'm not saying that every content creator is faking their life, but just realize that social media is not 100% accurate. Things are precisely curated for your consumption, so just stay informed.
[3:58]Number six, consistency trumps speed. Would you rather get $1 million right now or get one penny that doubles every single day for a month? Most people would pick the million dollars, but if you chose the penny, you'd actually end up with $5 million by day 30.
[4:12]That is the power of small, consistent actions stacking over time. So if you want major, long-lasting results, you have to be willing to put in years of work. The actions you do today won't have a visible effect tomorrow, but they will compound over time, meaning that the rate of growth is only going to go up.
[4:30]So get used to the delayed gratification of your efforts because everything amazing in this world happens with time.
[4:36]Number seven, insecurity has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with you. Social media is not the reason you're insecure. Your friends are not the reason you're insecure. Your parents are not the reason you're insecure. You are the reason. When you experience feelings of insecurity from something external, it's not that the thing made you insecure.
[4:54]It's only reflecting how you feel about yourself. Stop blaming the influencers, stop blaming the media, you have to accept that you are the reason you feel this way. Listen, I struggled for a long time with my own insecurities and childhood traumas, and I thought it was something I could just figure out on my own.
[5:11]But my biggest hurdle was not having the right tools or knowledge to move forward. So a year ago, I started going to therapy and it has been the biggest eye opener for me. Therapy literally changed the way I see myself and my emotions. And I have just become so self-aware because of the immediate feedback that therapy offers.
[5:30]But I know how challenging it can be to find the right therapist. So that is why I love BetterHelp, which is the sponsor for this video. BetterHelp is on a mission to make starting therapy easier for everyone.
[5:41]How it works is that you can fill out a questionnaire and it will match you with a therapist in as little as a few days. Your therapist will listen to you, ask questions, and help you see things from new perspectives. I love my therapist because she is just so real with me and she will literally call me out on my patterns that I don't see. But if it's not the right fit, BetterHelp makes it so easy to switch therapists any time at no extra cost.
[6:03]With over 7000 reviews and a 4.3 rating on Trustpilot, BetterHelp is a platform you can trust. You can check them out using the link in the description or go to betterhelp.com/allisonbaek and get 10% off your first month of therapy.
[6:16]Number eight, bloating and gut issues are not normal. I see so many people on social media say, hot girls have gut issues, hot girls have stomach problems. And I'm sad to say that I fell for that propaganda. Because I had all the symptoms of gut dysbiosis, which basically means the bacteria in your stomach is all out of whack.
[6:34]I had chronic bloating after every meal, the worst fatigue and brain fog, depression and anxiety, poor sleep and random skin breakouts. So this year, I finally saw a functional practitioner and got all the bloodwork and labs done. And we discovered that I am actually gluten sensitive and that I had a candida overgrowth, which is basically a yeast that kind of lives in your stomach.
[6:55]So I did a whole cleanse, cleaned up my diet, and really started prioritizing my health. It wasn't overnight, but a few months later, I feel like my symptoms have definitely improved, especially the bloating. I just hate that bodily dysfunction is like the new normal because you don't have to live in pain and discomfort.
[7:11]So get the testing done and put your health first because that is the best investment you can make.
[7:16]Number nine, struggle is guaranteed. We all know that challenges are inevitable in this life. Yet so many of us are terrified of them and let it control our lives. But when you know something is a constant, wouldn't you just accept it? Like, wouldn't you just carry on living your life?
[7:32]So then why are we so scared of pain? You are going to struggle no matter what. There will be hard times that are going to push you. But it doesn't mean you're alone or that you have to pause your life for them.
[7:42]Number 10, be vocal. I actually grew up on the quiet side. I didn't like to be super bold or loud, and unfortunately, that made me very meek as I grew up. But what I came to realize is that nothing good can happen to me if my mouth is closed.
[7:57]Every single opportunity I received was because I opened my mouth and asked. You need to tell people what you need. Don't be afraid of asking people for stuff. Tell people about your wins, what you're working on.
[8:09]They might have a crazy connection for you, or a resource you didn't know about. People genuinely want to help other people, so speak up.
[8:17]Number 11, people will doubt you, it doesn't mean you should listen to them. Here's a hard truth. You value other people's opinions more than your own. When I started making videos, I got a lot of concerns from other people.
[8:28]Because when you're pursuing an unconventional path, you will get criticism. People are scared of the things they don't understand. It's normal. But this is why very few people are successful. When most people get doubt from others, they then start to doubt themselves.
[8:41]But you have to realize, other people's fears have zero to do with you. They're only scared because they themselves could not imagine doing what you're doing. So just because people doubt you, it doesn't mean you should listen to them. Fears are simply just fears, they aren't reality.
[8:55]Number 12, clean up your sleep hygiene. When I tell you an eye mask, ear plugs and mouth tape can do wonders for you. I will throw up screenshots of what my sleep quality used to look like because it was atrocious. For some reason, I would always wake up early, even if I went to bed late.
[9:12]I always woke up more tired and I never felt like I had that deep sleep. I was also always woken up by some sort of noise or light in my room. So when I finally took my sleep seriously and got all the stuff, my sleep quality improved so much.
[9:27]Not going to lie though, I look kind of crazy in bed, but I honestly couldn't care because I don't play about my sleep.
[9:33]Number 13, you are not an inconvenience. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who say sorry constantly, because that used to be me. When you do that, you're actually making yourself look worse. Nobody respects people who don't respect themselves. You don't need to be sorry for your values, your preferences.
[9:50]If you want something, want it. You don't need to be sorry about it. Don't be sorry for taking up space. You have a right to exist just like everyone else. Do not accommodate more than you have to. And I'm kind of talking to myself right now because I used to shrink myself down.
[10:04]But now I am just unapologetic about what I need and what I want because I am not an inconvenience and neither are you.
[10:10]Number 14, invest in higher quality basics. Stop buying cheap clothes. It's bad for the environment and your wallet when you have to buy the same shirt five times. Buy nice things once and wear them forever.
[10:22]Higher quality clothing feels good for the skin and it will last you much longer. Also, basics never go out of style. You will always look trendy. So if you need some to invest in right now, good jeans, good cardigans, good cotton t-shirts, and good coats.
[10:38]Number 15, you don't need so much stuff. Put the credit card down. Material things are not going to make you happier. They will for five minutes, and then you're just going to revert back to your natural emotional state. Like, why did we stop sleeping on things?
[10:51]You will save yourself so much money if you just slept on it before buying right away. Make a note of it, wait a few days or a few weeks, and decide if it's something you still really want. Stop buying impulsively from a former impulsive shopper.
[11:03]Number 16, you and your relationships will go through seasons and that's normal. You are not going to be crazy in love with your partner every day of the year. There might be a period where you guys don't really like each other, and that's okay.
[11:16]Feeling in love with someone is very different than unconditional love. You will not always feel in love with your partner, but it doesn't mean you need to break up with them or that something's wrong. It's the unconditional love you have for each other that will sustain the relationship for years and years.
[11:32]Number 17, you don't need all that skincare! You don't need the new serum, the new moisturizer, or all the fancy facial devices. Stop using 20 products in one routine. Your skin is beautiful just the way it is.
[11:45]And you applying all these active ingredients on your face is actually making you break out more. When I damaged my skin barrier last year, I have never felt more insecure in my life. But it all could have been prevented if I just chilled out on the acids.
[11:58]So stop overloading your skin with chemicals because I promise it will heal itself with time.
[12:05]Number 18, the quality of time you spend with someone matters more than the quantity. You don't need to see your best friends every week or even every month. Like, I probably see my closest friends maybe once a quarter or a couple times a year, but that doesn't mean we don't have a good relationship.
[12:20]The quality of time you guys share together matters way more than how often you see them. And that's just the reality of getting older. Like, it is so much harder to see your friends and family all the time. So just be present with them, stay off your phone, and enjoy the moment.
[12:35]Number 19, the challenges you're facing now are shaping you for the future. As a kid, I always used to wonder, why do bad things happen to good people? Because younger Allison truly didn't believe that good people should suffer.
[12:47]But what I've learned after going through lots of suffering myself is that the kindest, sweetest, most grateful people are the ones who suffered the most. And it's through the suffering that you gain such a deeper perspective on life.
[13:00]I think moderate amounts of suffering is necessary for everyone because it shapes how you see the world so that you can make it a better place. Had I not gone through all the challenges in my life, I wouldn't have the empathy or compassion or gratitude I have today.
[13:14]Also, I think pain just makes you a lot funnier. Like, I think I have a really good personality because, you know, that character development.
[13:22]Number 20, be more mindful of what you're putting in and on your body. As you can see, your girl has been in her wellness era, and again, this all started because of this health journey I've been on.
[13:32]And after doing my cleanse and working through my gut issues, I was like, well, since I'm already here, what other areas of my life can I improve? And I realize that my health isn't just affected by the foods I eat, but also by the things I expose myself to.
[13:46]And this is what I am so, so passionate about because I don't hear anyone else talking about this on the internet. Your self-care and beauty products are a huge offender for toxins and harmful chemicals.
[13:57]I mean, when I tell you, I was floored by how many of my products contained cancerous ingredients, immuno toxins, and endocrine disruptors. So I started looking up all my products on the Environmental Working Group, which essentially is a huge database that checks if your products are safe.
[14:12]And so I started researching and buying some cleaner alternatives, and it has actually changed my life. Like, I was so shocked by how these ingredients affected my body. Like, the brain fog, the fatigue, the anxiety. All of that improved when I switched out my products.
[14:26]So my message for you, especially if you're a woman, be careful about what you're putting on your skin. Your skin is the largest organ in your body, and what you put on top of it will be absorbed. So if it's not safe enough to eat, you shouldn't be putting it on your skin.
[14:40]Number 21, alcohol is not a requirement to be a fun person. This is so embarrassing. But like, my whole life, I always wanted to be cool. And alcohol is one of those things everyone thinks is cool.
[14:51]I know I look young for my age, but I looked even younger back then, and I always felt like people didn't take me seriously. So I wanted to do all the older people stuff to be included. I was not an alcoholic by any means, but I definitely took it a bit too far in college.
[15:06]And I wasted so much time, money, and energy on drinking and clubbing. But now I realize, you don't need alcohol to have a good time. You don't need anything to have a good time, just yourself. I don't care what anybody says, I don't care what your friends think.
[15:19]Alcohol does not make you a fun person. You make yourself a fun person. You can be the funnest person in the room and still be sober. This is just a limiting belief you need to break. Besides all of that, alcohol is a major toxin and has so many negative effects on your health and your skin.
[15:34]So I just stay away from it as much as possible. Like, my life is great. I don't need alcohol to prove that.
[15:40]Number 22, listen to the people who have the results you want. Similar to my point of not believing other people's doubts, you should also be careful of listening to other people with different outcomes. Like, you're not going to take weight loss advice from someone who's overweight, right?
[15:54]So why would you do the same when it comes to your career, your relationships, your personal life? When your friends or your parents or your teachers give you advice, they're only speaking from their personal experience. And I'm only telling you things based on my experience. Like, don't just blindly trust me.
[16:08]Really ask yourself if this applies to your life. If your friends don't have the life you want, don't take their advice. Instead, seek mentorship from people who have what you want. They actually have proof that they can help you because they've already done it themselves. But bottom line, take advice with a grain of salt.
[16:24]Number 23, a life lived in fear is wasteful. When I was younger, I was afraid of a lot of stuff. Afraid of the dark, afraid of getting physically hurt, afraid of what people were going to say. I just didn't like to take risks. I wanted to feel safe and comfortable all the time.
[16:39]But leading your life with fear is not truly living. Like, what are you so afraid of? No, seriously, like, what are you so scared of? Every fear is rooted in the unknown of the future. And we will never know what the future looks like.
[16:53]So why the heck are we spending so much time thinking about it? 99% of the fears you have will never come true. So stop giving them power. Do not waste your life thinking about what could happen.
[17:04]Instead, live your life doing what you want to happen. Number 24, bigger risks yield bigger rewards. Again, I used to not like taking big risks. Big risks are scary. Big risks require bigger decisions. And I hate making big decisions.
[17:18]But when I think back to every decision I made in my life, all of them involved some form of risk, and this is the whole principle of opportunity cost. When you choose one thing, you have to reject another thing. When I chose to be a competitive figure skater, I had to reject having time on the weekends.
[17:34]When I chose to go to college in LA, I had to reject living in another big city, but taking bigger risks often leads to bigger rewards. Maybe not right away, but over time. So when I decided to pursue YouTube two and a half years ago, at the time it seemed like a small decision.
[17:49]But it was actually a major one. I was basically saying no to a traditional career path, one that could bring more stability, more financial security, and faster results. But because I took such a big risk in myself, I am now reaping the best rewards from it.
[18:03]Did I know I would end up here? Absolutely not. I had no idea what a content creator was or what it looked like, but I knew the outcome was something I wanted for myself. So if you've made it this far, take the bigger risk. Take the leap of faith.
[18:18]You will get so much more out of life when you make bold choices that are authentic to you. I am so incredibly grateful for all of you who've been with me since the beginning, and for all the new people here, thank you so much for 100K. We've definitely come a long way.
[18:31]But none of it would have been possible without all the support and encouragement you've shown me throughout the years. If you like this video, then please give it a like and send it to someone who needs to hear it because this is how the truth spreads. I'm so grateful for all of you, and I'm so, so proud of you. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.
