[0:20]How we doing guys?
[0:26]Good man. Thank you. Is this gonna be impacted by my sunburn here? Uh I don't think so. There a few people to ask. We just step right over to the side. Thank you. Or you may sit in any of the black chairs that are on the lawn. The high tops are also on the lawn.
[1:12]Hey much! I hope you all can hear me. Will you guys shut the fuck up? I'm kidding. That's my family in the back. That's why I did that. Children and stuff. Anyway, This is weird and and less than ideal, uh circumstances to do a show. But the only way to figure out if the show will actually work is to do the goddamn show. So thank you all for coming. I want to shout out all the young people who have had the courage to go out and do all this amazing work protesting. I am very proud of you. My kids are excellent drivers. I am comfortable in the backseat of the car. Uh, so carry on young ones. It's hard to figure out what to say about George Floyd. So I'm not going to say it yet. I, uh, well, I'll say something. Are you guys having a good time or is this weird?
[2:30]I gotta tell you this is actually like the first concert in North America since all this shit happened. So Like it or not, it's history. It's going to be in the books. At least we tried. The other comedians who would, but this is not the first show, but the other shows were like in drive-ins and people like the niggas jokes, they honk the horn. Didn't sound like any fun at all, did it? So what's you guys? You a black and white friend hanging out? Do you guys know each other? Shh. It's going to be quiet car ride home, isn't it? No, it's going I'm just kidding. Enjoy your riots. I'm just kidding.
[3:19]They're not really even riots. Have you noticed that? It's a it's a fucking weird time.
[3:32]And like 1993, I'm I I'm not sure what year it was, but I was in L.A. I had smoked a joint and I was watching the movie Apocalypse Now. It was like just after 4:00 in the morning and what what would later would become known the Northridge earthquake happened. It felt like it started in my apartment. You know, I'm from east of the Mississippi on this side, we don't know what earthquakes are about. I got to tell you something, man, excuse me for burping. This shit was terrifying. It was absolutely terrifying. Uh, a lot of things went through my mind. I was I was like not naked, but you know what I mean, just just chilling my boxes. Uh, I put my clothes on. I found my weed and some uh a pipe and some and a lighter and and some money and my keys. All these things, while the earthquake is happening, while I'm experiencing what the earthquake is the first time and I was certain that I might very possibly die. As a matter of fact, I remember I made a point not to scream, just in case I lived. I wouldn't have to remember myself being vocally terrified. But I forgave myself for being terrified. That earthquake couldn't have been more than 35 seconds. This man kneeled on a man's neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds. Can you imagine that? This kid thought he was going to die. He knew he was going to die. He called for his mother. He called for his dead mother. I've only seen that once before in my life, my father, on his deathbed, called for his grandmother. When I watched that tape, I understood this man knew he was going to die. People watched it. People filmed it. And for some reason that I still don't understand, all these fucking police had their hands in their pockets. Who are you talking to? What are you signifying? That you can kneel on a man's neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds and feel like you wouldn't get the wrath of God. That's what is happening right now. It's not for a single cop, it's for all of it. Fucking all of it. I don't mean to get heavy, but we got to say something.
[6:49]He told the police he couldn't breathe, one of the hardest parts of the tape to listen to. He said, please. I can't tell you as a man watching another man go through something like that. What it makes you feel like. I didn't watch the tape for weeks, for a week. I didn't watch it. I knew I saw a still picture. I said I don't want to see this because I can't unsee it. But when I finally watched it, I understood nobody's going home. Anyone who sees this, they're going to be furious. So the other night, I'm in my little clubhouse and I'm watching uh, Don Lemon, that hotbed of reality.
[7:48]He says, where are all these celebrities? Why aren't you talking? This nigga said everybody I was screaming at the TV. I dare you to say me, nigga. I dare you. Has anyone ever listened to me do comedy? Have I not ever said anything about these things before? So now all of a sudden, this nigga expects me to step in front of the streets and talk over the work these people are doing as a celebrity. Ask me, do you want to see a celebrity right now? Do we give a fuck what Ja Rule thinks? Does it matter about celebrity? No. This is the streets talking for themselves. They don't need me right now. I kept my mouth shut and I'll still keep my mouth shut. But don't think that my silence is complicit of all the shit these niggas are saying, trying to get everyone to sing these fucking songs. I know all these songs. I was raised on these songs. Why would anyone care what the favorite comedian thinks after they saw a police officer kneel on a man's neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds? I can't get that number out of my head because it was my time of birth on my birth certificate. I was born at 8:46 in the morning and he killed this nigga in eight minutes and 46 seconds. I watch everything everybody says. I think Candace Owens tried to convince white America, don't worry about it. He's a criminal anyway. I don't give a fuck what this nigga did. I don't care what this nigga did. I don't care if he personally kicked Candace Owens and her stinky pussy. I don't know if it stinks, but I imagine it does. If I ever find out, I'll let you know for sure. I'll tell, like Azealia Banks, I'll tell.
[9:59]I'm the worst.
[10:05]But I know why. I figured out why they want to hear from me and serious. The only reason people want to hear from people like me is because you trust me. You don't expect me to be perfect. But I don't lie to you. Just the guy and I don't lie to you. In every institution, every institution that we trust lies to us.
[10:37]How come they never talk about Chris Dorner? That's a story about a man who believed he did everything right. Do you know who Chris Dorner is? Well, Chris Dorner, if you remember, was an African-American police officer in the LAPD. He was executing a warrant with his partner who was a white woman. And white women, I support you, but boy, if y'all don't shut the fuck up.
[11:18]During the process of executing this warrant, this white woman, uh, did what Chris Dorner thought was excessive force. I don't know what she did. She kicked the motherfucker that was handcuffed. I hit a guy that was handcuffed or something. But Chris Dorner, the black police officer, watched this white woman do this, reported this to his superior, made a formal complaint and was subsequently fired from the LAPD. He went through the system. He took every legal avenue that he believed he had to get reinstated, and he was not reinstated. And when his last appeal was finished, this motherfucker, some wild shit, rolled a manifesto. You know where it's going. And that manifesto, he called me a genius. Me, Dave Chappelle.
[12:15]Not just me, but me. He said Kevin Hart fan, too. But he called me a genius and he told Bradley Cooper, who's a friend of mine, don't do any more hangouts, nigga. That's enough. That's what he said. And he told his story. Chris Dorner told his story how he did everything right when he was in the military and subsequently everything else. This is before any of this shit happened. And then he said, which was the wildest thing, he said, I'm going to wage asymmetrical war on the LA Police Department and their families. What's an ominous thing to say? And he did it. This motherfucker, ambushed two police officers who were just sitting in their squad car, murdered them. He went to another police officer's house and killed his daughter. Boy, it was terrifying. And this motherfucker was on the run. He was doing it. I was supposed to do the Grammys. I was supposed to present at the Grammys that week. And a guy from the LAPD called me and said, Mr. Chappelle, we understand you're coming to Los Angeles, and I don't know if you know, but there is a lunatic on the streets who is killing police officers and and we would like to know if we can pick you up at the airport. We're extending this courtesy to everyone he mentioned in his manifesto. And I told the police, I'm fine. I read the manifesto. He likes me. Is there anything I can do for you, nigga, cuz I'd be very worried. They found him. Big bear, he was hiding in a cabin.
[14:08]When they figured out what this nigga was, no less than 400 police officers showed up and answered the call. And boy, let me tell you something, they swis cheese this nigga. He is dead as dead could be. He is done. And you know why 400 cops showed up? Because one of their own was murdered. So how the fuck can't they understand what's going on in these streets? We saw ourselves like you see yourself. And we're not the only one. LeBron James once said something about racism, and Laura Ingram, which I will say publicly anywhere anytime is a cunt. Tell him I said it. Told one of Ohio's greatest residents ever, shut up and dribble. I tell you something about LeBron. This nigga was on the cover of sports illustrated when he was 17 years old and exceeded every expectation that they had for him. This business is treacherous. This is a good guy, LeBron. He's a family man and this that and the other. He he he didn't let anyone down. He didn't let anyone down. Came back to Ohio, went to a championship, and then it's like, I'm going to move to L.A. And everyone in Ohio was like, nigga, we we we understand.
[15:41]It's good man, LeBron James. This bitch told my friend to shut up and dribble. My friend is the best at something, and this bitch is not the best at anything. It's a regular ass white bitch with a with a platform. And I use the word bitch all the time because it's black.
[16:09]You watch one shooting after another, Eric Garner in New York, the first guy that told the police, I can't breathe. Eric Garner was selling loose cigarettes in Staten Island, when my kid was being, when my kid was born, my first son. My my wife lived in Staten Island. It's an awful place. She knows it. Everyone everyone who's ever been there knows it. Yuck. To Staten Island. And my black ass will go there. And I got a lot of fans there and friends there, but it's a very terrible place. Fuck everybody in Staten Island except the Wu-Tang Clan.
[16:48]Got murdered by one police officer while five of his fellow officers watched him do it.
[17:00]Not one of them said, Frank, Frank, take it easy. None of that shit because they were being recorded. Because they were afraid if I correct my fellow officer on this camera, it's going to open us up for some kind of liability and the guy killed the person that they were, uh, uh, what do you call it? Apprehending. The guy was selling loose cigarettes. There goes Eric Garner.
[17:31]And then we have one after the other. Trayvon Martin gets murdered by just a regular nigga that George Zimmerman is nobody. George Zimmerman is an awful human being. Threatened Beyoncé's life, he threatened Jay-Z's life. He signed Skittle bags because Trayvon Martin had Skittles on him when he was murdered by George Zimmerman. Boy, how do we feel? How do we feel right now? This kid was 15 years old, being followed by a grown man with a gun and whooped his monkey ass. He beat the shit out of George Zimmerman, and George Zimmerman murdered him. We were very upset. This kid looked eerily like the president. He looked like my own children. I I hate George Zimmerman as an idea, not as a guy. I've never met him. I'm sure I would, though.
[18:25]It's the streets. We got them marching. Dylan Roof. Dylan Roof killed eight people in a church in Charleston, South Carolina. He prayed with them first, and then he shot them at point blank range.
[18:44]Goes on and on. And then one weekend, a law-abiding citizen right here in Beaver Creek gets murdered. The cop that murdered John Crawford pulled me over the night before and let me off with a warning.
[19:08]And the next day, kills a kid. He says, drop the weapon, bang, bang, bang. This kid didn't even have enough time to register that he was the one being spoke to. This is our hometown. It happened right here. I was very proud to be your neighbor. I love the way you guys hit those streets. He said his name and try to make sure everyone remembered him, but he got lost in the sauce. And this guy, John Crawford, was a saint. He was there buying shit so he and his kids could make s'mores. But Michael Brown got shot the same week and Michael Brown became the story. And then, am I boring you?
[20:02]Well, then right back in Minneapolis. This is Philando Castile, a law-abiding citizen, who was a registered gun carrier, who was trying to show the police the paperwork for his registered weapon and was murdered in front of his wife and his child. And then, right in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, just two days later, it happens again. And what do you think's going to happen? Three days later, nine cops get murdered in Dallas at a Black Lives Matter rally. Wow, I'll never forget it. It was the first time I ever thought, I got to get my family the fuck out of this place. These niggas will never understand. I'm tired of explaining these people something that's so goddamn obvious. The guy that killed those nine cops, just like Chris Dorner before him, was from our military. And then right after he did it, another four cops were shot dead in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
[21:03]Again, a black man that served in our military. What are they doing? Why would our guys do that? Black people from the military because they believe, just like they did when they were joining the fucking military, that they were fighting acts of terror. These are our people. These are our countrymen. If I were white and saw one of these men get murdered, and I was in the NRA, why wouldn't I stand up for them? A a card carrying, legal gun owner that gets murdered in cold blood because he's black. That's why they don't give a fuck. There's only one time the NRA ever supported an assault weapon ban. You know when it was? It was when the Black Panthers stormed the state capital with assault rifles in California.
[22:00]Candace Owens, that rotten bitch.
[22:10]She's the worst. I can't think of a worse way to make money. She's the most articulate idiot I've ever seen in my fucking life. She's so articulate she tell you how fucking stupid she is precisely. And she told George Floyd's rap record on the internet, oh, he was uh this, he did that, and he was he's drug addict and he's not a hero, and why does the black community make him a hero? Why do you choose him as a hero? We didn't choose him. You did. They killed him and that wasn't right, so he's the guy. We're not desperate for heroes in the black community. Any nigga that survives this nightmare is my goddamn hero.
[23:08]This is not funny at all. I got some pussy jokes too I could do, but I just really just
