[0:00]Okay, guys, so here is my first vlog. Um today I am basically going to tell you guys about myself because I've never really let you in much and I feel like that's the best thing to do right now. To let my um supporters know really who I am and have an idea on the type of person I am and to ideally strengthen the bond. So, here's my room. Uh is Stitch. This is my favorite Disney character ever. He's very relatable. Uh I got the fucking Batman and then the little fur sheets and shit, computers. But yeah, um I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. Um in order to strengthen the bond and to basically I do hold on, I'm sorry, I'm going to adjust this. I don't know how I want this. I don't know if you guys want to see my face or not, but I'm going to just do what makes me comfortable. Hold on, just adjusting this just a little bit. Okay.
[1:02]So today I am basically going to be telling you guys about myself. Um apparently, I'm not going to go into my history because I fucking hate thinking about my history. I hate thinking about the things that I don't want to remember. Uh currently, I am in a huge state of paranoia. Um just due to my past and just the things and the people I've associated myself with previously. So I'm trying my best to escape that realm of mind and that realm of thought in order to evolve into not only a teacher, but just someone to to motivate the youth and to push the youth in a positive direction. To be able to not ideally like control, but to just manifest that type of energy. I want to see, like I want to just have more power in the aspect of trying to like all right, I know what I know what the kids want. I know what we all desire. I know I understand things and I feel like that's why I've been placed in such an important position because I understand things and I just understand how people feel in the aspect of, okay, I know how it feels to be alone. I know how it feels to be around people and feel alone. Like I'll be around a million people and I'll like still feel alone. Like even sometimes like, all right, like I'll go out even with my own friends, like my previous friends and I just would feel alone and I've just, like you know, I'm in a position now where I was friends with a lot of people and I kind of felt abandoned. I've seen people choose material items over me. I've seen people choose status quo over me. I've seen I've seen people like, like when you give them ultimatums, they just choose everything besides you. So, I've just been um placed in situations that are very heartbreaking as far as like people period. So the only people that I've ever seen kind of suffice for me and offer me the support always is is you guys, my people, you guys are my people and I've felt very attached to the, I don't want to call it a family. It's I fucking hate that. I like to call it a cult. I like to call it a family. I feel attached to you guys as if you were my own family even though I don't know half of you, even though I can't really be everything ideally I want to be for you guys, which I'm trying to be. I'm trying to assert myself. That's like, no, I want to I hate like sounding like an egotistical motherfucker, but this is a closest I can get to it. Trying to assert myself as some sort of prince regardless of the stipulations around my name regardless of all the negativity that I'm fed regardless of how some people treat me. I've tried to put myself in a position to ideally be able to motivate others to I mean, for myself to suffice when it comes to this negative shit cuz like bro, this shit, it's like trying to consume me. It's almost like it's like it's trying to get inside of my mind, you know? So, I've started to look at myself very differently and beat myself up and you guys are the only thing that gives me hope. You guys are the only things that that thing that motivates me to ideally like, yo, be strong. You have over eight million kids or or adults and and teenagers watching you relying on you for this hope. So I wanted to give a bit of advice. I wanted to give a bit of clarity. I wanted to give a bit of an explanation. Now, I'm winging this. This isn't written. This there's nothing written here, just so you know. I'm winging this whole video. so when I'm talking to you, I want you to know that this is genuinely from my heart. This isn't some bullshit prescriptive motherfucking words coming out of a paper or anything. As you can see, you see that there's a there's nothing behind me. Um, okay, so my current focus is creation and evolution. No matter whether you realize it or not, every day you evolve, every day you create. You create in thought, you evolve in mind, you evolve as far as your age, you evolve physically, mentally. If you are evolving physically and you are not evolving mentally, you are not doing the right thing. So, for you guys. I want you guys to constantly, constantly, constantly be trying to evolve. Um as far as creation. Being creative in thought, being like living life like a dream, you know? Like as far as you are the actor in your own movie, you get what I'm saying and you are the person that you desire to be. If you want to be pretend to be a princess, carry yourself with the mannerisms of a princess. If you want to be a prince, carry yourself with the mannerisms of a prince. If you want to be, like, it's better not to be a crazy motherfucker. It's better not because I've I've I've been I've went through that. I've decided I want there was a point where I wanted to be the villain and it's not fun, bro. It's not fun. People turn like, it's it doesn't attract anything that you truly want. It's better to be respected through love rather than fear. It's better to be respected through yeah, I mean, not to repeat myself. It's better to be respected through love rather than fear simply because like, all right, I was respected through fear and it's not real love. It's not real love and it drives people away. It makes people treat you differently. It makes people really like, it it just not genuine. It's not what you really would want. So, to um, I'm sorry, I'm I'm kind of lost with the subject matter. So to jump with um, jump to love, uh because I I I'd like to talk about love and it's always on my mind. Um I'm always I've I've really stopped looking for someone unfortunately because uh currently where my mind is is just like I don't want to say I've given up, but I've just seen everybody make me promises and make me promises on promises never really fulfill like I was always looking for a caretaker looking for someone that would protect me, take initiative for me and just be the greatest person they could for me and I and that may be selfish. I don't know. But it's that's just me being honest and every time I've kind of let myself be led on by someone, they either deceive me or dished me really, really, really bad and I'm I'm a very genuine person and I'm far too emotional and I care too much and I've I've definitely cared too much in situations and been fucked over. So what I do want to say to my uh my my supporters and and my family as far as you guys, the key to love is compromise. The key to love is also loving yourself. Now, in love is a very complicated thing. Look at love like a game. Everything is a game. Look at love like a game. If in order for your partner to respect you, you have to respect respect yourself, but in the same context, you also have to compromise for them. So it's a very complicated uh idea. So like all right, look at it this way. If your lover disrespects you, there is a certain way you have to I can't tell you how to deal with it, but there is a certain way you have to deal with it as far as like, okay, Your lover says something to you you don't like. Instead of getting angry, instead of leaving, which is never the answer because you'll never find love in leaving. That's pride. If you think with pride during your relationship, it shit won't work out because then it'll just be an egotistical battle and bro, I'm sorry to say it. Women have far more pride than men. Men have pride, but women have pride and it's and it's hidden, but I respect women, I respect uh with the I respect the woman's pride because it's a different type of pride. You guys don't want to be walked on. You guys don't want to be, you guys don't want to feel disrespected. You guys want to feel empowered, but in the same context, you guys have to understand we looked to women for emotion. We look to women for for comfort, you know? For to to be grounded like, all right, earlier on in my life, I didn't have a like I had my mom would try and financially take care of me, but my mom was going through it at a young age, so she wasn't really able to be there and it wasn't her fault. And I didn't have a woman in my life to ground me emotionally, so I always looked to other people for emotion and I always was disappointed because obviously no one will be able to compromise for me fully because I would give my all and put my all into things and they would just I would just never be compensated for the the love I would give. So, as far as compromise. Um for one, don't put your pride, don't put your pride in the fucking relationship. The shit doesn't work. It makes the shit harder than it needs to be. It makes it complicated. It it makes everything hard. Do not put your ego in a relationship. Do not be afraid to blow up your lover's phone. It's the ones that are annoying that love you. It's the ones that will sit there and and and blow up you blow you up for hours and check on you 24/7 and annoy the fuck out of you that care. It's okay to be annoying in order to, hmm, Okay. Now, another thing with love. Don't try and publicize like I I'd say publicize your love in the same context like show people you're happy. But when you start showing people what you've got going on in your personal life, that's when people feel the need to get involved or people get in the middle and fuck everything up. Keep your relationship to yourself. That other shit in the middle fucks it up. Sometimes you can't ask for opinions. Sometimes you got to battle the shit out for yourself. Like I said, it's like a game. So when you whenever you ask for someone else's opinion, it's almost like, look at it this way. They're dealing with something from a preconceived, they're they're they're dealing with it from a preconceived notion of what you told them. So they'll never understand the the how much compromise your partner has given for you and how much of a situation, how much how much care the has been put in the situation, you know? Cuz no one can never really care about the person that you care about. Now, to jump away from love. To jump to purpose. No one can explain why you are alive. No one can save you but you. You have to put the mind into what you want to put the mind into. If you believe in something, you can achieve it. Now, that doesn't mean everybody needs to be a rapper. That does not mean everybody needs to be a fucking painter or an artist. That doesn't mean that way. Your art can be in your emotion. Your art can be in your mind. Now, you can be a doctor and that can be a form of art. You can be a therapist and that can be a form of art. It's how you articulate. You get it? Articulate, it's how you treat these things. It's the manner that you treat. You know what I'm saying? Even even relationships and friendships can be a matter of art. It's a matter of mind. Now, purpose, only you create your purpose. Now, trying to always impress others does not work. Now, with with millions and millions of of supporters and and family and fans and it, trust me. Some motherfuckers will hit me up and be mad disappointed with some decisions I've made, be mad disappointed with some music and I've tried my best to impress or meet this standard, you know, always. Fuck that. Make yourself happy. If something makes you happy, follow it. Now, do not be toxic in that. Do not take my words and twist them and turn them negative. Do not be toxic. I want for everybody that follows me and supports me to make sure you are being healthy in mind, being caring, compromising for the ones you love, being loyal to the ones you love. Do not say you love me and be some motherfucker out here cheating on your your people. Look, if you if you love someone, you're supposed to be dedicated to them, right? Now, I don't follow relationships simply because I don't want to promise someone something and then not keep my word because of how much I've been hurt. So I've been in a a situation where I'll talk to people and I'll tell them, yo, I don't want to be involved with one woman because when I give my all to someone and they disappoint me, it makes me feel horrible and it takes my very soul out of me. He breaks my fucking heart. So I don't want, I don't know, man. It's it's hard to explain. It's hard to explain. I don't want to I don't want to leave you guys without some sort of answer, so I'm just going to jump to this. Purpose. No one can create your purpose for you. No one can tell you who to be. There is no such thing, sorry, there is there is no such thing. No one can tell you who to be. So in purpose, you have to create your own purpose. And in evolution, you have to evolve towards that purpose. It's easier to live when you have goals to meet. You understand? If you have goals to meet, then you don't feel so voided and you understand why you're why every day you're looking at this person in the mirror because that is the cool part about the game. You get to be anybody you want to be. Now, take that. Please and I hope the little words that I did say, did motivate you. And I'm sorry if I didn't give you any sort of clarity. I was scattered brained. Like I said, I wing this. I just simply wanted to speak to you guys. And I apologize for being so distant. I've been paranoid. I've been needing help and I haven't been getting the ideal help I really want. So I just, I apologize if I haven't been there enough and I'm going to be vlogging more often. I probably might post another vlog after this. I don't know. I'll let you guys know. Um I'm going to be going to a uh sorry. I am going to be going to a homeless shelter and giving out some food, giving out uh probably some clothes. Then I'm going to probably go to a, well, not probably, I'm going to do this. Then I'm going to a a foster foster home and probably like donating PS4s and video games and probably buying some beds or anything that's going to help out the local uh foster homes. But I'm just taking the time out to plan and to do the right thing and to to show you guys that I am a people person and that I will be a good person for the community and I will have ties to the community in that aspect of showing people that, hey, I'm going to put my mind towards actually helping the world and the self. With that being said, I love you guys. I appreciate you for all the love that you guys give me and I appreciate you for giving me your attention. Oh, sorry. That's my motherfucking alarm. Uh just to show oh, another thing is, I hope you guys are writing in your journals. Look, Turn it off, you're waking. See, look. Oh, hold on. Sorry. Now, look, here is my alarm on my phone. It won't show. Uh it's so it's so hard to show, but it says turn off your awaken mind. Use journal, write down dream, use power statement. I can fully control my mind, I am controlling my mind. Another thing that I noticed helps guys is keeping a journal. Write down your thoughts. If you don't understand and remember your thoughts, you can't amount to them. Write down your thoughts. I love you guys. Later.
