[0:00]Marcello, you look unbelievable. Thank you for dressing up for the show. I had to draw us like this and I brought you a bottle of champagne that I made for you. It says, Marcello and Jimmy tonight show numero uno.
[0:16]And very quick I want to do a shout out. Can I do a quick shout out? Of course you can. I want to go shout out obviously to my mommy and to my puppy and to my stepdad Jose and to my little sister Isabella and to my Tio Pepito, my uncle. I love you so much Pepito. That's it. That's it, good. Hey, welcome to the show. Yes. Welcome to the show and thank you for being here. By the way, I did uh meet your beautiful mother before the show. Oh, my mom. She's here tonight. She's in the probably in the audience somewhere. Is she? Hi, Mom. Oh, Mom. Cheers, Mom. Salud, mommy. Your boy has done pretty well.
[0:54]That's good. Thank you, bud. Uh uh was Mom always supportive? Was uh did she know that you know that he was going to be a big star one day? Yeah, yeah. She's very cool about it. Yeah. She's very chill. Were you a good kid growing up? Was he a good kid? Oh. I would say I could describe myself as a pain in the ass. You were? Yeah. But were you were you smart? Um, yeah. I just, I wasn't like a great student per se. I think the only thing I can remember is I went to summer school for math and for science and I was supposed to bring a C up to a B and I got a D in summer school. So I think I'm like the only kid ever that went to summer school and then came back and was like, can I keep my original grade, please? Can I get the grade that got me here? Yeah. Uh, I you're fantastic on Saturday Night Live. It is your is your second season. Yes. Uh you auditioned to be on the show. Did did you feel like you like it went well? Did you go Um the audition with, first of all, I want to say real quick, it's my second season. I'm very grateful to a lot of the writers that have helped me, the please don't destroy boys, Jake Norwin, Mike DiCenzo, Colin Jost, and ego who have all taken me under their wing and really helped me. Um, but the audition is scary because you're a standup. I did standup in my audition and I do I did standup 12 times a week, maybe more. And then you get to the audition, you do your best standup that you've worked on so hard to zero laughs. And then right after your mom calls you and goes, so how did it go? Oh my gosh.
[2:23]I don't know awful. I don't know what to say. My mom was so nervous. My mom started smoking cigarettes while we were waiting to find out. She started? She started smoking cigarettes. I like she would call me and she'd be like, so have they told you if you got it? And I'm like, no, are you smoking a cigarette? And she's like, yes, I started yesterday. Now tell me. And then I got it and then she quit cigarettes. And there you go. Wow. Thank you SNL for many reasons. Uh you're doing great on the show. You're really, really funny. You have Josh Brolin hosting this weekend. Ariana Grande. Uh have you have you gotten the pitch meeting nailed down yet? The pitch meeting is when you have the host. Everyone gathers in the Lauren's office, the writers, the cast and you all pitch ideas to the host. Yeah, I never nailed that. It's it's my biggest weakness, I would say. I'm so bad at it. Um, sometimes I do good and the whole room is like, oh, wow. Hey, not bad. He's actually, yeah. This week with with uh with Brolin, I had a pitch and I got zero laughs and I kept talking and Lauren looks at me and goes, are you done? Uh well, that's how it's going. Yeah, that's how it's going for you. Good. You'll you'll get there. Or maybe you won't because I never got it. Before you got on set at live we're talking. You did stand up. We were talking backstage. I used to go on the street and try to sell tickets to come to your shows. Dude. Yeah. I did that for a long. I did that for like three years. I sold tickets on the street and um it's a hard job because uh I I sold tickets next to drug dealers. And um no matter what I'm selling, they have a better product. Like I I'd be like comedy show, comedy show. And the guy next to me, he's like, and I have cocaine. So what do you want to do? You want to go to the show, or you want to be the show? Which Yeah, strong. Before you got on Saturday Night Live, we were actually trying to book you for our show. I know. To do standup, but it just happened too fast. I know, I know. I was so excited to do this. Obviously, a dream of mine to do standup on this show. And I got SNL, which is a great consolation prize. Lauren, I'm very grateful. Um, but no, I'm just, yeah. We actually have a little time left. Would you want to make your Tonight Show debut? Oh.
[4:32]You stand up. You stand up here. For real? Right now. Okay. Go backstage. Go back. I'll understand this. Okay. All right. Go back. All right, get ready back there. Uh, here we go. Making his Tonight Show debut. Please welcome the very funny Marcello Hernandez.
[4:57]Yes, thank you so much. Thank you for this opportunity. Um uh, my name is Marcelo Hernandez. Uh, my parents are both immigrants. And uh, they both speak English, but different levels of English. Uh, I brought my dad to SNL recently and all the writers were like, it's so nice to meet you. It's very nice to meet you. And my dad's response was, me too. Um, uh, my mom is much better at English. She's kind of a philosopher. She has the most interesting questions. Um, one day at dinner, she asked me, she looks at me and she goes, Marcelo, what's the difference between a butt dial and a booty call?
[5:46]I was like, wow. That is an amazing question. Touché, my queen. I don't know. Um, but the funny thing to me about being Latino is that whenever I meet like really American people, they always have to tell me something. And that's how many years of Spanish they took. And they don't even want to. It's like a tick that they have, you know? They're like, you're Hispanic. And I'm like, yeah. And then they go, oh, that's nice. I took seven years of Spanish. And I'm like, wow, thank you so much. Thank you.
[6:19]And they're like, oh, you don't believe me? Lunes. Martes. Sabado. Suavemente.
[6:33]And they do that. And they only do that to us, okay? That's what's funny to me. They only do it to Latinos. They would never do it to anybody else. A white person would never go up to a black guy and be like, hey, man. It was all a dream. Like they would never do that. But they do it to us, okay? And and we never do it to them. That's what's funny to me. We never do it to them. My dad doesn't really speak English, but he would never go up to a white guy and be like, hey, my friend. Look at me. Look at me, puppy. Are you ready? Look at me. Ready? Monday. You like that? Monday, huh? Tuesday, you like that? You think I'm stupid? Wednesday, you like that? I know what you like, puppy. I know what you like. Sweet Carolina. Oh, I got Marcelo Hernandez.
[7:21]That's how you do it. That's how you do it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Marcello Hernandez. That is how you do it. Marcelo, welcome back to the show. This is don't please don't ever change. You're unbelievably. Of course not. Only the best for you, Jeremy. Last time you came on the show you you brought me a bottle of champagne. Yes, and this one says, the first one said Tonight Show Numero Uno. And this one says Tonight Show Numero Dos. Ah, wow, that's a good That's a good uh vintage. Yes. Uh Numero Dos is a good vintage. Because after Uno comes Dos. Yes, of course. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Salud. Salud mi gente. Salud. Delicious. Delicious. Oh my gosh. Uh you look fantastic. Is this what happens when you become a full-fledged cast member now? Congratulations. You're a full you're a cast. Thank you. Yes. It's um it's my second time here, so I thought I'd be a little more comfortable. Yeah, you really are. Well, last time you were you were more comfortable. More comfortable. Yeah. Last time you were here, your your mom came with you. Oh, yes. Your beautiful mom. Oh, yes. And she was actually in the audience. We cut her. Oh my God, yes. Look at her. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, she um she actually, you know, she's feels like she's like coming to too many things. She's been telling me, she's like, I think I'm like imposing a lot. So this time I didn't bring my mom. I actually uh, I brought my best friend, Santiago. Oh, is Santiago here? Where's Santiago? Oh, my God. Yes. Hey, hi, Santiago. Sorry. Can can the camera can the camera pan over next to Santiago? Who's sitting next to it? Oh, I don't know who that is. Oh, my gosh. I have no idea. Oh, my gosh, this is suspicious. That's super concerning. Yeah, that looks a little bit like your mom. Anyway, I don't know who it could be. Oh, wow. Cannot be stopped. Oh, wow. Cannot be stopped. Oh my God. Uh, I must be stopped. Marcello, I wanted to ask you about your summer. Uh, you had some time off from SNL. I heard you were where did you go? Dominican Republic? Uh, yes, yes. Uh, I went to the Dominican Republic and you have to go to the Dominican in the summer, James. Oh, thank you. It's something else. You have to go. Yes, the people, the music, James, the music, James. It's uh I noticed something this summer. What? Um, you know, I feel like a lot of our music, Latin music, it's about when you lose a woman, you know? You lose a woman, you sing about her. And I find a big difference between when a Latin guy sings about losing a woman and when an American guy does it. When an American guy sings about losing his woman, he seems very confused. He doesn't know what happened. When an American guy loses his woman, the song is always, where are you? Oh my God.
[9:54]What happened? Oh, my God.
[9:59]In a merengue Bachata salsa song, the guy is like, I know exactly what happened and I wish I could apologize. Oh my God.
[10:10]Oh my God. Please. Give me the opportunity to apologize. It's so funny. It's lovely, James. Yeah. You also went uh to Paris for the Olympics. Oh, James, you have to go to Paris in the summer. I know. I do. Yeah. You have to visit. I have to visit. Yes. Here's you and Mikey Day, really uh uh fit in the part there. Oh yeah. Oh my God. I mean, all the berets, everything. Oh my goodness. The posture even. I like to embrace the culture, James. Yes. How was it? It was It was lovely. You know, I used to I I had an epiphany in Paris, James, because I I love the people and uh this lovely man came up to me and he said, um, what is your name? And I said, Marcello. And then he said, what is your last name? And I said, Hernandez. And then he said, wow. I love Narcos. Wow. That that very nice. They love us. That's very I love I love Narcos. Loves me. Uh you actually got to hang out with Snoop Dogg over at the Olympics. Oh my God. You have to see Snoop Dogg in the summer, Jim. I know you have to. You have to see Snoop Dogg in the summer. Unbelievable. Uh there's you and Mikey and Snoop. How was that? How was Snoop doing? He's unbelievable. Everything he says you're like, you should write that. That should be in the song. He said to me, he said to me which was crazy. He goes, um, he goes, hey, tell Lauren to cut me in or cut it out. And I was like, yes, I will tell Lord. I will go cut you in or cut it out. What does that mean? But I love it. It's a it's a bar. He was a star. He was a star. Yeah, exactly. It's a bar. Uh let's talk about Saturday Night Live. It's happening. Oh. It's happening Saturday. Come on. You have to listen. Season 50. It's a big season. Yes. Gene Smart. Oh my God. Gene Smart is brilliant. She's unbelievable. And super fun. Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll. Yeah. And I hear rumors there might be some uh surprise guest star. Listen, you just after the summer's over, you have to watch Saturday Night Live. After the summer is, yeah. And you're a full-fledged cast member now. It's crazy. Marcello Hernandez. It's crazy. Come on. It's crazy. Buddy. You're crushing it. It's nuts. You're crushing it and uh, I will be watching you uh as as your mom will as well and Santiago. Uh and we will be rooting for you. Crush it this weekend. Thank you so much. I love it when you come by. Thank you. Let's make it three. Make it three. Salute. Welcome back. They love you. We love you. Come on. We got a lot to talk about. Let's talk about it. Looking good. Looking good. Hey, uh Super Bowl this weekend, did both of you have dreams of playing in the Super Bowl? Because I'll show you a picture of Here's a young Keenan right here. Oh, yeah, definitely. Little tiny. Yeah. Little baby. That's right. And then Biggest shoulder pads in the world. Yeah. Young Marcello. Yeah. We got to get after it. Come on. Yeah. Did you have any uh ideas that were you good or no? I was just a soccer player that they they made me kick. Okay. Yeah. But I was different though. My leg was crazy. I played I played till like ninth grade and then everybody became like monsters and I was still like I was like 5 ft flat. So I decided to start playing the trumpet. This happening, trumpet? Yep. Marching band. That's right. You get a letter for the marching band. So that's what I got my letter in. Oh, here you are playing soccer, by the way, Marcello. Come on. Look at you. Little cold. So serious.
[13:40]Real serious. Yeah, bro. Yeah. I was I also look a little suspicious. If you look closely, I look suspicious. Yeah. What's going on like what are we doing here? I'm like, what are you talking about? You know. Uh what was this what was this guy like? Was he did you think again, comedy in the in the works? No. Um not not then. No, no. I was not funny at all right there. I was very serious. Yeah. Were your parents are going like, I think you should be soccer. Well, I did like I started doing standup while I was playing soccer and then I told my mom about it and she was like, yeah, I think that you crazy and that could work for comedy. Yeah. And uh I and then I told my dad I wanted to do comedy and he was like, oh no, I don't like that. No, no, no, no, no. Uh let's talk about Saturday Night Live, okay? This the 50th anniversary show is next week. Next Sunday. 50. 50. That means I've known you for 22 years now, James. I've known each other for a long time. That's wild, bro. Yeah, bro. Dude, it's I'm always I'm always in awe to watch you because you're one of the best out there, man. You're the best ever do it. That's why I love you, bro. Every every scene, every sketch I ever do with you, I always love doing with you, man. I'm forgetting about it, but this is coming from the guy. I was just telling Marcello like you are one of the goats, like the way you commit to characters and like even the little things like we were looking at the uh Kenny Rodgers and you and Miley Cyrus.
[15:02]Picture backstage. It's unbelievable. You engulf character. You have such a good time with it. And your dedication to the fans nightly, bro, like you're you're you're you're I love you, bro.
[15:13]SNL SNL made us. SNL SNL made us. Obviously, you had a you had a great uh year with Domingo. Oh yeah. Talk about this.
[15:26]So you did this sketch with Ariana Grande. You did Domingo. And then Sabrina Carpenter, the Sabrina Carpenter has you arrested at her concert and brought on stage. Come on. How fun is this? Look at this.
[15:50]Oh my God. Could you break it down for us a bit? What is the key to a Sebastian Maniscalco impression?
[16:09]Um, well, Sebastian, if you want to do Sebastian right, you have to always be exhaling while you're talking. And everything is a question. You know, um, so um, if someone's like, if he's ordering fast food, I feel like it'd be something like, um, I like like a like a number one. What does it have pickles?
[19:34]No, I don't like the big one.
[19:41]I feel he's a perfect guy to like channel if you're ever in like a an inconvenient situation, like if like a cop were to pull me over today and he's like, do you have any idea how fast you were going? I feel like Sebastian would be like, I'm just doing my best.
[20:00]I'm just doing what I can do. I was so good. Gosh, he's funny, man. He was a great job. Uh, how's your mom doing? My mom is fantastic. Go tell her I said hi. Tell her I said hi. I will tell her that you say hi. She's the best. Uh, my stepdad's probably watching this too and he keeps her safe. So shout out to Jose for keeping her safe. Yeah. He's very supportive of your career, though. She's always been supportive. Um, that's a lie. But uh, well she's the best, dude. We're always super close. Um, I just always did whatever she said. I talk about it in the special. Everybody in my life told me that I have ADD and then I told her that I have ADD and she said no, so I don't have ADD. How about that? Wow. Wow. She's that always she always listen to Mom. Whatever she says. Do you have ADD? Um, per chance. No, I think I do have it. Um, but I never got the pills and uh, you know, one year I went to summer school for pre-algebra and uh, there was a kid in the summer school that his mom let him have ADD. And
[21:08]And he um, he gave me some of the pills, right? Uh before a math test for the pre-algebra summer school and I didn't study for the test, but I took the pills because I was like, what could go wrong. And uh, I took the pills and I did the test dude. The test it it all seemed it all made sense to me. The numbers started to talk to me, James. And I understood everything in the test. I was having the time of my life. I'm like, of course, it's this. And it was one of those tests with complicated answers like 0.799979. Yeah. So I'm doing that. I'm having the time of my life. I finished the test in 20 minutes before anybody. I turn it in. The guy's like, are you sure? I go, am I sure? I turn it in. I give him the test. He goes, I'll just grade it right now. I go, great. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. So he grades the test and he gave it to me before we left and I got a zero. Congratulations. I didn't even I didn't even write my name. You get 10 points. Yeah, you get 10 points for writing your name. I didn't write my name. Uh, congrats again on the special American Boy. Marcello, that's a big deal, bud. And I I I you know, I like to I love all the bits. I'm going to you're doing some tonight. Yes. Yeah, you're performing live standup tonight for us. Thank you. Uh yeah. Come on. That's a real deal. Come on. That's a real deal.
[22:15]But when you especially begins, you walk out, every comedian has a walk out song and you walk out to Bad Bunny who come on that's my dude. Of course. And I love that. And I love him. Was that always uh was that always your walk out song? Um, I've been walking out to that song for probably some years now. Yeah. Right since I came out. I think it's the right beats per minute, you know? There's a certain beats per minute that everyone dances to. It gets the white people going, you know, there. They start to shake a little bit. Um, it just it's the right amount of beats. You guys know the song?
[22:58]Oh, my God. Show me something, give me something that hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, where are we going?
[23:09]Please, Marcelo in his special, American Boy. Take a look. What's the most beautiful part about being at a family party? It's hanging out with your cousins, right? Isn't that the most beautiful part? Oh, my God. Something about being with your cousins. It just it makes you just you lose your mind. You you end up in a part of your house that you have never been to before. You and your cousins end up in the AC unit of your house. And and you're in there and and it's weird in there. And one of your cousins is like, I have hair, bro. I swear to God. I have hair. I don't know where it came from. I have hair. Your other cousin, he's weird and he's like, bro, eat the cockroach, bro. Please. Oh, my God. Marcelo Hernandez, everybody.
