[0:00]So when you like generally directly look at this verse from the beginning like, men are protectors and you know, maintainers of women. So when most people read this verse, they think that Allah is being harsh towards women. When in reality, it is a harsh verse for men. So it does not mean blind obedience or obedience in in sin. In Islam, obedience to a spouse is only within what pleases Allah. And most importantly, if you are already in love with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, you will do all of these that are commanded by him. But this verse, like I said overall, is actually pure mercy you guys.
[0:44]Auzubillahiminasyaitanirrajim. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Alhamdulillahilladzi hadana lihadza wama kunna linahtadi lawla an hadanallah. Wassalatu wassalamu ala sayyidina wa nabiyina Muhammadin wa ala alihi wasahbihi ajmain, Amma ba'd. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Finally, you guys, welcome to another episode, I believe the 10th episode of Dean chats with Husna Podcast if you're listening to this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other podcast platform right now. And welcome to Islam Honors Woman series, um another episode, uh another video of Islam Honors Woman series if you're specifically watching this on my YouTube channel. It has been a hot minute, I know, ever since I last posted an episode. Um I'm sorry that you guys had to wait for about three weeks, I believe. Um I you know, the last time I posted a a new episode was when I was back at home in Istanbul, and today it has exactly been two weeks since I came back from home from like Istanbul to London. And in these two weeks, uh I was just very busy you guys, as soon as I came back, you know, my studies started again. And I had so many deadlines, I literally have another assignment deadline for tomorrow and everything, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I'm talking a lot, sorry. But yeah, basically, my apologies for that little pause, um but alhamdulillah, I am back with another episode, and in fact, another reason why I took a bit of a break is because today's episode is a very serious one. It's going to be a very deep one, maybe a long one as well, I don't know. That's the reason why I took another break, uh because it I had to do some really deep researches, scholarly researches, Quran tafsir, uh and just prepare for today's episode, uh because I will be talking about a very important topic. I feel like I've already hopefully mentioned it in the title of this video and episode. Now, I took so many notes, you guys, let me quickly, um unlock my iPad. Like I said, I prepared hopefully good for this episode, you guys. Obviously, I may have like my own mistakes, uh you are more than welcome to correct me if you also have knowledge regarding this verse, and especially if you're a scholar, um then please, like, if I am going to make any mistakes, which I hope I won't, uh guide me and correct me. And on that note, I also want to uh clarify that I am not a scholar, I'm not a sheikha, I'm I'm not a tafsir person, I'm not even close to those titles. Um I'm just a student of knowledge, when I say knowledge, not like I'm not like, you know, uh connected to any madrasa or anything, just like on my own, alhamdulillah, with Allah's guidance and help, I'm trying my best to study Allah's words, the Quran, to study uh uh Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's uh Sunnah, his lifestyle, um and yeah, that that's what I mean when I say student of knowledge, and I'm still like, like the way beginning of my journey as uh a Muslim who wants to increase their knowledge. So, with that being said, rabbi zidni ilma. Rabbi shrahli sadri wa yassirli amri wa ahul qdatan min lisani yafqahu qauli. There is one specific verse in the Quran that many Muslim women struggle with, and maybe you've heard it. Maybe it has been used against you. Maybe Shaytan whispered, how can Allah allow this? So today we are going to talk about it with honesty, with context, with scholarship, and with the life of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. The verse is the 34th verse of Surah An-Nisa where Allah says, men are caretakers of women, because Allah has made one of them excel over the other, and because they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence with what Allah would have them guard. As for those from whom you fear nushuz, first advise them, then leave them alone in bed, then discipline them. But if they obey you, seek no means against them, surely Allah is Most High, Most Great. So, that is the English translation of the verse, um if you have noticed, uh usually the so advise them, and then leave them alone in bed, and then discipline them. Like that is the part where uh other, you know, English Quran translations say hit them. Um but in this translation that I looked at, it said discipline them.
[5:20]And, uh most people, especially uh people who study the Quranic Arabic, uh they also agree that here Allah actually means uh when when he says daraba, because that's where that's what Allah is that's the word Allah is using, uh he says daraba, daraba, uh doesn't only mean like hit, uh or like beat, um lightly, by the way, uh but it also means discipline. Um we're going to obviously go deep down to the uh Arabic uh meaning, the Arabic literature behind what daraba as well, but overall, that was the verse. Now, before we go deep into the verse, to understand what Allah is actually trying to say us through uh this verse, I want to highlight three things. Number one, letting go of whatever prejudice you have. When we decide to study the Quran and dive deep into it, firstly, we have to move every kind of prejudice we have, not only towards the Quran, but also toward Allah and Islam. When you make the intention of, okay, I want to get closer to my rub to Allah, and the easiest way and the most healthy way, healthiest way to get close to Allah is obviously through his own words, which is the Quran. But then there are some stuff that I don't agree with, then I'm sorry, even if like no matter how hard you you will try to save the Quran, because you think that you don't agree with a couple commands of Allah, then you will never understand 100%. So, when it comes to studying the Quran, being the student of Quran, you should remove what kind of prejudice you have towards Quran, Islam and Allah, from your heart, just be in a neutral state, be in a numb state, and make the nia, seek Allah's uh protection from Shaytan and your evil whispers and desires, and start sitting the Quran, like I said, without any prejudice towards it. And of course, keeping in mind that Allah revealed Quran as a mercy, a hope, and a guidance for us, because he is the most merciful. And now this will lead us to number two, which is Allah's mercy. Allah is the most merciful. So like I said, Quran was revealed to us as a guidance, as a mercy from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. So whatever verse that is written in Quran, every single word, in fact, every single letter and its haraka is Allah's mercy, you guys. It is Allah's mercy. So, when you start studying the Quran or understanding the verses of Quran, you have to keep Allah's mercy in mind. Generally, when you look at Islam, in the center of Islam, there's Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, and he that's why his presence makes everything sense in Islam. When you remove Allah and his mercy right in the middle from Islam, nothing will make sense, literally nothing, all those commands, all those rights and wrongs, they don't make sense when you remove Allah's mercy from the center of Islam.
[8:24]So that's why believing in Allah's mercy, having iman in his mercy, helps you so much when it comes to understanding the Quran and its verses. Personally, it has helped me so much. So before, you know, uh studying the Quran, before even getting close to Allah, you should first fully understand his mercy. And when I tell you that, you know, when we believe in the oneness of Allah, when we believe in Allah, we also believe in his uniqueness. Allah is no way like us, not like in not in any way, shape, or form, Allah is like us. He is one, he is perfect, he is unique, we are imperfect, right? And we are many, of course, we are humans and we are created by him, which also means his justice is not like our justice, he has a unique way of justice. Uh his uh anger is not like our anger, he has a unique way of anger. His plans are not like our plans, he has a unique way of planning and he is a unique and perfect planner. And therefore his mercy is not like our mercy, he has a unique mercy, you guys, and he is the best of those who have mercy. And Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam has said in his Hadith that Allah is 70 times more merciful than a mother is merciful to her child. And obviously Allah's names Rahmanir Rahim, al-Wadud, al-Latif, these names all directly connect to his love and mercy towards us human beings and towards all his creations, like, not only us, animals, the stars, the planets, uh the sky, the ground, all that he has created, he has mercy, he has mercy towards all his creations. So yeah, just keeping in mind the mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, removing what kind of prejudice you were you have towards Islam and the Quran. And now coming to the third part, what is Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's life and his Sunnah. In historical context, there is no evidence that Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam ever hit a single woman. Not his wives, not his daughter or daughters, not the uh Muslims who believe in him in his prophethood, uh not even those who didn't believe in him. He never hit any woman. Let alone hitting a woman, he was never disrespectful towards woman, ever, he had a huge respect towards woman. He when when it used to come to his behavior towards women, he always used to maintain respect, distance, uh and softness as well. He was very gentle with specially woman. So that's uh the third thing that you should keep in your mind, the third part that you should keep in your mind. And the fourth part is generally, of course, in Islam, harming Allah's creation is considered as a big sin. Not only harming women or harming just humans in general, harming animals, harming plants, harming every living or non-living being is a big sin, you guys. For example, even killing an animal with a shoe like an insect with a shoe or with your hand, uh will it maybe it's not like a big big sin, but it's not good, Allah doesn't doesn't like it, because you're hurting that creature, you're hurting that living being that is created by Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. So harming, like, let alone physical harming, even mental harming is prohibited, you guys. Allah doesn't like it when we mentally when we even mentally abuse someone, when we oppress someone mentally, when we bully someone, like all these hatred, negativity is prohibited in Islam, it's a big sin, it's not good, Allah doesn't love it. In fact, there's a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam where he says, um the strongest among you is not uh like the one who lifts uh heavy weights, but the strongest among you are those who remain peaceful and and silent and calm when they are under a state of an anger, you guys. This is what Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said. So, yeah, before just getting deep into this verse and is, you know, are women, are men allowed to beat women, I just wanted to put these very important facts in your mind, and I want you to believe in these facts, especially as Muslim, um so that you can fully understand the this verse that we will be inshallah talking about in today's episode. I actually studied this verse, uh more than a year ago, um and I took some notes on my iPad. Because like I said in the beginning of this video, this verse was also like uh sort of like a question mark for me in terms of uh building a stronger relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, and so therefore, I was like, I have to study this verse. And alhamdulillah, I studied it and the moment I studied, you guys, everything made so much sense, especially the concept the entire concept of Islam Honors Woman made so much sense after I studied this verse. Back in the days, when I studied this verse, I studied it through Noman Ali Khan's view, um and he also started, you know, first of all, he beautifully explained this verse, uh mashallah, and he also started by clarifying and saying, stating that everything Allah has taught in the Quran is a direct result of his extra overwhelming love and care for us. Nothing in the Quran contradicts Allah's Rahma, like I also said earlier. So first, we look at the meaning of qawam in this uh verse. So let me highlight where Allah says qawam in this verse, in this verse, he says, ar rijal qawamun ala an-nisa, which uh means that, um, men are protectors and maintainers of women. So Noman Ali Khan said that qawam is used for someone who stands up and shows commitment. So we come to the conclusion that men are responsible for women, they should have commitment for women, men should stand up for women. So, you know, when you read this verse, especially like directly from the beginning beginning of the verse where Allah says, men are protectors of women, uh I'm sure most women get kind of offended. Women go like, oh, so does that mean that we can't protect ourselves? That's not what Allah's trying to mean. And also when you're studying this verse, uh if you consider yourself as a modern world feminist, you will directly get offended from this verse. So like I said, that's why when you start studying Quran and specifically these kind of verses, you should take out all kinds of prejudice and all kinds of, you know, opinions and whatever you have towards uh Islam and Quran and these verses. And you should completely be neutral and you should be numb, uh and you should only have Allah's mercy in your mind. So when you like generally directly look at this verse from the beginning, like, Al-Rijalu Qawwamuna ala An-Nisa, men are protectors and you know, maintainers of women. As women, we might feel offended and be like, oh, like, maybe Allah doesn't like us, or maybe Allah likes men better than women. No, actually, he is giving a very big responsibility for men. And this is so big because this is like almost like a passive command of Allah towards his men servants. Imagine if a Muslim believing man who fears Allah in a true way, if he doesn't, uh, you know, throughout his entire life, if he doesn't match to this description of Allah where he says, Al-Rijalu Qawwamuna ala An-Nisa, he will held accountable for that in the hereafter. So Allah is actually putting a very heavy responsibility for men in this verse. Directly from the start of this verse, when he says men are protectors and caretakers of women. Allah's telling that men are responsible for women. Men should have commitment for women, they should stand up for women. When there is a specific oppression towards women, when there's an inequality towards women, men will be responsible for that, uh, men will, because they they should stand up for that. That is what Allah is saying, because they are protectors of women, they are maintainers of women. So Allah's actually giving responsibility for men here. So the first meaning in this verse is husbands are responsible over their wives. They have to maintain their wives physical, mental, social, and emotional well-being. They have to provide them and take care of them. Allah says qawam, which in Arabic means responsibility, so men are responsible over women. The idea of this verse meaning men have authority over women is absurd, says Noman Ali Khan. The word qawam has nothing to do with the word authority, it means being responsible, standing up for. And now let me tell you the actual in-depth meaning of the word authority. Authority means the power or right to give orders, make decisions, or control something. But Allah here he says, men are responsible, qawam means responsible, responsibility. So it there's a difference between authority and responsibility, right? And responsibility doesn't mean to give orders, responsibility doesn't mean to make decisions, responsibility doesn't mean to control something. Prophets were responsible to spread Allah's message. So they didn't make the decision, right? Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam didn't make the decisions by himself. All of those uh you know, things that he did throughout his life was Allah's commands. Prophet Musa Alaihi Wasallam didn't have authority over Firaun, he had responsibility towards Firaun, and his his responsibility was to warn Firaun, right? So there's a difference between authority and responsibility, and here Allah says qawam, meaning men are responsible for women. So in in the beginning of this verse, Allah, uh says that men are protectors, caretakers, maintainers of women. He didn't say men are protectors of their wives. Al-Rijalu Qawwamuna ala An-Nisa, rijal, nisa, men, women. So the beginning of this verse is for all men and women, which means a father is caretaker of his daughter, a brother is a maintainer of his sister. So this also mean that men should also protect women's feelings. A man doesn't have the right to break a woman's heart, uh to uh abuse them mentally. So here Allah is actually putting a big responsibility on men's shoulders. They should be loyal and unbiased. Their job is to calm the situation and settle things. So when most people read this verse, they think that Allah is being harsh towards women. When in reality, it is a harsh verse for men because Allah is making them responsible with a role in which they will held accountable for in the day of judgment, and this is a very significant role. And also, I love this part, when Allah prefers someone, Allah gives them responsibility. Allah preferred his prophets, Adam, Idris, Hud, Nuh, Ibrahim, Ismail, Ishaq, Yaqub, Musa, Harun, Isa, and and Muhammad Alaihi Salatu Wasallam, and also like Dhul-Kifl and Ilyas, and all the prophets that are mentioned in the Quran and that are not mentioned in the Quran, Allah preferred them, and therefore Allah gave them responsibility, not authority. The only authority belongs to Allah himself Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. So when men, uh, you know, comment this verse, or like translate this verse, especially the word qawam as authority, that's not right, that's not true. And so when people think about being preferred to someone, they get excited, when in Islam, if you are being preferred by Allah, it means that he chose you to give a heavier duty. And he will hold you accountable for that duty in the hereafter, you guys. Like, subhanallah. This is why I just love studying the Quran. Like, when you study the Quran verses, you one of the biggest greatest thing you understand is never look at a situation from its surface, exactly. That is one of the greatest things I learned when I studied Allah's verse and when I'm studying, because I'm still studying, Allah's verses is that never look at a situation, especially if it's an Islamic matter, never look at it only from its surface, like through its surface. Try to try to dig deeper into it, because there are different perspectives. And it humbles you guys, it truly humbles you, subhanallah. This Ayah is not about superiority of men. It's about the greater responsibility of men. For example, Allah preferred the Banu Israel, the Israelites over all nations, and sent them prophets, revelations, very big miracles, etcetera, which means Allah gave them responsibilities, heavier duties. And what happened when they didn't obey Allah? Allah cursed them. So when Allah prefers someone, he gives them a big responsibility. When that someone doesn't obey Allah's preference, Allah curses and punishes them. So in this verse, Allah has preferred men, and he has given them a very big and significant responsibility. So again, like I said, during the beginning part of this video, in our religion, in Islam, it makes no sense if we take out Allah's mercy and Taqwa out of the occasion. So that same rule applies in this verse, actually, specifically for this verse. In this verse, when you remove Allah's mercy, Allah's love, this verse will not make sense to you at all, you guys. So long story short, men are not being qawam over women here, because women are a certain way with them, but because Allah mandated it for men that way. Now, let's move on to the middle part of this verse, where Allah then connects uh the situation to marriage. So, after the first part of this verse, Allah directly speaks out to, reaches out to, uh wives and husbands, like, basically, married couples. Uh, so he says, therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient to Allah, then to their husbands, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. For example, their chastity, their husband's property. Um, so this is the middle part of the verse. And here, again, according to Noman Ali Khan's, uh, point of view, marriages should be the source of peace. More particularly, number one job of wife is to be a source of harmony and peace. In this Ayah, Allah doesn't directly says women should, but he uses the phrase salihat. And salihat are those women who are a source of peace and harmony. Good women are going to be mindful of Allah, lovingly obeying him, by guarding their husband's privacy.
[24:22]So it does not mean blind obedience or obedience in in sin. In Islam, obedience to a spouse is only within what pleases Allah. And unfortunately, most Muslim men, they use this verse as a shield towards their women. I'm going to talk about this actually later in this uh episode. Right now, I just want to focus on the tafsir part of this, uh verse. Uh, but yeah, and then, uh, you know, uh, the part where Allah says hafi zatu al-ghayb, uh, meaning guarding in the unseen in their husband's absence. So this phrase is very important. Scholars explain that it means a righteous wife protects things when the husband is not present. Why this fact, like, isn't it doesn't it kind of sound random? Why should we guard them when they're absent, like, right? That that kind of sounds random, but actually this is the important part. Um, according to the tafsir, this means uh protecting her chastity, so us as women, in the absence of our husband, protecting our chastity, remaining faithful, protecting the marriage, protecting the husband's honor and reputation, protecting his property and household, not exposing his private matters. So the verse is describing trustworthiness. Now, let's go back to the beginning of the verse where Allah says, Al-Rijalu Qawwamuna ala An-Nisa, meaning men are protectors and maintainers of women. And then he says, Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend to support them from their means. So Allah's also giving the financial responsibility to men as well. Uh, what I'm trying to say is in the beginning of the verse, Allah is saying men to protect women because Allah's saying to men that, y'all are protector and maintainers of women. And then here, specifically for wives, Allah is now telling us wives to protect our husbands, during their absence, especially during their absence.
[26:39]And when when by protecting, he means protecting our chastity, protecting the marriage, uh, you know, protecting our husband's honor and reputation. And all this happens when you are in love with your husband, right? Uh, so I don't know why women get offended. Like if you are in love with your husband, uh, if you have built a marriage, um, of love, then you will automatically do these, whether your husband is absent or not. So I don't understand, and if you go like, oh, but why does Allah want us to protect our husband? Allah wanted men to protect women in the beginning of this verse. So subhanallah, like, oh, you guys, I love it. I love Allah, and I love the way he just teaches us. He, I love the way he reaches out to us. Moving on, uh to the part where he says, bima hafidha Allah, which means by what Allah has commanded them to guard. So this part means that women guard these things because Allah commanded it. And because Allah himself protects those who obey him. So, you know, like just a while ago, I said if you are already in love with your husband, you will do all these, like, you will protect your chastity, you will protect the marriage, you will protect your husband's honor and reputation, if you are obviously, you know, in love with him. And most importantly, if you are already in love with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, you will do all of these that are commanded by him. You will protect your husband's dignity and honor. He will also of course protect you and maintain you because Allah has also commanded him to do so in the beginning of this verse. And both of you will strive to have a healthy and good marriage. All because Allah commanded it and you are in love with Allah. So this verse is actually a verse of love, you guys. Love towards your husband, or if you're a man, love towards your wife, or if you are just men in general, love towards your daughters and your brothers because in the beginning Allah says, Al-Rijalu Qawwamuna ala An-Nisa, so men and women, not just both husband and wife. Or if you're a woman, love towards your, uh, you know, son, your your brother, right? So this verse is actually a verse of love, specifically for married couples, it's a verse of love. Uh, so yeah, coming back to bima hafidha Allah, scholars explain it as they guard these things out of Taqwa, consciousness of Allah, having love toward Allah, like I said, and Allah supports and protects those who uphold these values. So the deeper message of uh the verse, like, you know, especially the middle of this verse is the verse is describing qualities of a righteous spouse, not reducing women to something lesser. The verse focuses on faithfulness, trust, respect, protecting the sanctity of the marriage. Just as wives have responsibilities, the Quran also places responsibilities on husbands, which is providing financial responsibility, which I feel like that that is the biggest responsibilities, you guys. Um and obviously protecting and treating their wives with kindness and justice. So basically, y'all, in this verse, Allah says that actually both genders are protectors of each other, just in different ways. In the beginning of the verse, Allah mentions that good men are those who provide women and take of, uh, both their physical and mental health, uh, and take care of both their physical and mental health, uh, meaning protecting them. Um, and towards the end of this verse, he describes that good women are those who stay loyal to their husband, even in their absence, meaning protecting their relationship, even when the husband is gone. So considering that as well, uh, this verse, like I said, overall, is actually pure mercy, you guys. Allah, like I said, let alone human, Allah cannot bear when an animal, when a living, when when an insect is being harmed. Even like when when we, I don't know, uh, kick the sand when we get angry, even that Allah doesn't prefer it, you know? So overall, you guys, that is what I want to, uh, you know, tell about this verse. I hope that it was beneficial, you guys. Stay safe, stay protected, I'll see you in the next episode, inshallah, ma'assalama, bye.
