[0:00]How do you let go and intend at the same time? If attachment is the root of all suffering, and if attachment is what creates resistance,
[0:13]How do we actually let go to allow that thing into our life without being aloof and without actually wanting that very thing?
[0:23]Now, in this video, I want to show you one of the most important and powerful insights I have ever had around attachment and being in the frequency of what I want to experience, knowing that it is natural for my identity.
[0:40]Now, there's this quote by Anthony Demello, and it really stood out to me the other day when I was reading it, and it said that when it comes to attachment, you can either have your attachments or you can have happiness, but you can't have both.
[0:56]Think about that for a moment. You can carry at one moment either the happiness in the present moment or the attachment, which comes with it resistance. But you can't carry both at the same time.
[1:10]Now, the reason letting go is hard for so many people is because there is a belief, a false belief that if I have whatever the attachment is, whatever there it's a relationship, certain amount of money,
[1:25]certain synchronicity or opportunity, there's a belief that if I have this thing, then I'll be happy.
[1:33]And what happens is reality then becomes this conditional thing where if all of these things go into alignment and I have this, then I can feel happy. But the challenge is that you won't have that thing forever.
[1:47]The transient nature of reality is that things come and go, and when we try to resist by attaching, by controlling, we end up creating resistance.
[2:00]And you can also think of this in the form, you've probably heard me talk about this book before, reality trans surfing. It's a book that was written by a Russian quantum physicist, but there's this one idea in there that really impacted my life and it's called decreasing importance.
[2:15]There's this energy in our reality called excess potential. When we give something a lot of meaning, what happens is we create a lot of pressure.
[2:25]And the balancing forces in our reality come into place to balance that thing out. So if you create resistance, you can't have it.
[2:34]Think about this even from the point of people, we naturally do this. Have you ever had it or somebody really wanted something from you and there was resistance to giving it to them even if you wanted to give it to them, you almost don't because you can feel that neediness.
[2:52]But when if somebody were to let go and not be attached, you would be much more likely to give that to them.
[3:00]So if you're in a dynamic with somebody and you want their validation or approval, they will feel the resistance coming from you and it would give them the ick, as they would say in modern times.
[3:12]But if you didn't care and you weren't attached, does that not caring does not mean being aloof. It just means that you're not attached. You're good either way.
[3:23]And what happens is then you are in a more magnetic state and people feel that energy off of you and you are more likely to get that as a reflection in your life.
[3:33]Now, think of it like this. If you are in an abundant state of consciousness, we meaning you recognize that there is an abundance of everything.
[3:41]There's an abundance of money, there's an abundance of people, there's an abundance of love.
[3:47]You wouldn't be so clearly having your hands at the throat of the universe trying to get it to meet your needs because you wouldn't be believing in scarcity.
[3:58]However, if there is scarcity, then of course you're going to be jealous. Of course you're going to want somebody to acknowledge you or you're going to think that that's the end all be all to your happiness. Most likely as a kid, maybe there is scarcity in childhood and there's this belief now that there's not enough to go around.
[4:16]You know, mom's attention can only go towards one kid at a time.
[4:22]Think about that for a moment. As a kid, we may crave our mom's or dad's approval or validation and attention. If you have siblings, mom focused on one, scarcity.
[4:34]How am I going to get my needs met? Maybe if I perform. Maybe if I'm quiet. Maybe if I be a specific way. Maybe if I cry and be annoying, mom will look at me. Give me the currency that I want.
[4:47]You see, there's an understanding here that the challenge when it comes to attachment is that you believe so clearly in scarcity that it is blinding you. That there's this control dynamic, and control has become a safety mechanism for you.
[5:05]Control has been a safety mechanism and a way of meeting your needs.
[5:10]If I could control reality, control how people think of me, control how people respond to me, then I can feel safe.
[5:18]Because I don't trust. What is the opposite of control? Trust. I don't trust the course of my life.
[5:25]I don't trust and believe in abundance.
[5:29]If somebody loses a job and then internalizes it and says it means I wasn't worthy, and then somebody else loses the same job and says, you know what, there's an abundance of other places that actually want to work. What reality do you think they'll each experience that's different?
[5:46]Based on their beliefs, one is more likely to find a job they like or to start their own business, the other is more likely to internalize it and to have that keep blocking them.
[5:57]So understand that when we talk about decrease importance, one of the reasons it's so important to understand this is because excess potential will block what you want from your life.
[6:10]Excess potential is excess meaning. Everything in our reality has no meaning other than the meaning we give it.
[6:20]It's a neutral thing. It could be raining today, and I could be like, oh my God, it's raining. I don't like it. It means I can't go to the beach.
[6:27]Or I could give it a positive meaning. Be like, I'm going to go dance in the rain. I'm still going to go to the beach. It's a neutral thing.
[6:34]But we create resistance in our energy field when we try to control it.
[6:41]So, think about it like that. Meaning is it's giving meaning that is on top of what it actually is in reality.
[6:49]So for example, if this person texts me back, then I will feel worthy, whole and complete. Give it them a lot of meaning. Give them a lot of power. Meaning is also power. You're giving people power over you.
[7:02]Tell me I'm good enough. Like me and approve of me because that will make me feel enough.
[7:07]Now, here's the deeper aspect of attachment that most people don't even look at.
[7:13]The reason you might want someone else's approval or validation is because there's an inner there's an energy there that's unresolved from childhood.
[7:29]So you're going to literally subconsciously choose someone that's not choosing you, and then you're going to try to turn them into somebody that approves of you, instead of choosing someone that actually chooses you.
[7:43]Do you see the difference here?
[7:47]There's powerful recollection that comes when you start to question, why do I even want this attachment? What would it mean if I had this attachment?
[7:58]This is where self-inquiry really begins. Because remember, the attachment that you think you want is a neutral thing!
[8:06]It is the meaning you give it that that determines the emotional impact and effect that it has on you.
[8:15]I was talking to my friend yesterday because there's all this political stuff happening in the world, my friend Victor.
[8:24]And we were talking about that of how dumb it like how there's these two opposite sides of the coin. There's a lot of polarity in the world right now. There's a lot of uh triggered energy, where people get very angry at each other. One far this side, one far this side.
[8:37]But if you look at the core issues, it's like they're the opposite sides of the coins, the only options, right?
[8:45]But it's like, on one hand, someone's like, I like shorts. On the other hand, someone's like, I like shirts. And then it's like, no, I like shorts are better. And shirts are better. It's this new it's this thing, but we give meaning to the story.
[8:56]No, don't you see that this makes a big impact? This affects this, this affects that.
[9:02]And my friend we were talking. We were like, you know what, based on like things we're talking about how in reality, things are what you make it.
[9:12]I remember when the last presidential election happened, and there was a there was a feeling of, oh, this is, you know, I'm going to have there's going to be more taxes, more this, more that, all of these things.
[9:23]And then I decided, you know what, it's not going to affect my life that much because I choose that it doesn't. And you know what, the last so many years, it just doesn't affect the the fear that I had when it started.
[9:33]Oh, things are going to change. This is going to happen.
[9:36]I was able to let it go. And it doesn't affect me because the meaning I'm giving to it isn't this resistant meaning that then attracts more synchronicities and more reasons to fear.
[9:46]I know this video took a little tangent there with that whole idea, but the idea is that things are fundamentally neutral.
[9:53]Now, if you want someone that the key with this attachment stuff is to look deeper at what are you really attached to? Is it controlling reality? Is it getting your needs met from childhood that maybe weren't met? And is there a way for you to start questioning your attachments?
[10:09]Because when you realize the thing you think you're going to that you want isn't going to actually mean everlasting happiness, you start to become a lot more free.
[10:20]The most my YouTube channel has ever grown is when I was the least attached. It's when I was most in the flow.
[10:28]It's when I was most present to the moment.
[10:31]Now, remember, when we think of attachment, you can also think of attachment to thinking.
[10:36]You think thoughts, but you're not your thoughts. You have attachments, you're not your attachments.
[10:44]And if you were to be okay and be more in the the present moment and in a flow state, you would be in abundance.
[10:53]When I think of my old 9-to-5 job, for example, there was this book that I read called The Science of Getting Rich by Walter Wattles.
[11:01]Back in 2011, 2012, I read this book and there was this one idea in there that completely transformed my life. It was called the difference between a creative mindset versus a competitive mindset.
[11:14]A competitive mindset is a scarcity mindset. When I was selling women's shoes, I'd go into work. I would be in a in a department where I would help customers, and if a sales employee of mine got a good call, good customer that bought shoes and they made good commission on it. I'd be like, I lost out.
[11:32]I could have had that sale, which isn't even necessarily true, by the way. In the sense that maybe that person working with them was able to bring out and to sell them certain shoes that maybe I wouldn't have sold because I wouldn't have connected to them in the same way.
[11:42]Maybe I could help another customer and do that and you know, it's the same for someone else. But in the mind, oh my goodness, scarcity. They're getting that customer. I'm losing out.
[11:54]I read this book, a creative mindset, which means there's enough to go around for everybody. There's not a finite amount of customers coming into the department per day.
[12:04]All of a sudden, guess what happened? Someone else has a call. That means that and they're they're selling. That's awesome. People customers are buying today.
[12:12]Gave it a different meaning. There's enough to go around for everybody.
[12:16]All of a sudden, this resistance leaves my energy field. I start helping customers. I start doing way better because I'm not in a resistant state. I'm in a creative state. There's an abundance to go around.
[12:26]And here's the thing about reality when it comes to attachment, there's an abundance of everything. There's even an abundance of lack.
[12:34]Think about that. There's an abundance of lack. You say, oh, there's lack in the world. No, there's no lack of lack, there's an abundance of lack.
[12:44]You choose to believe in lack and therefore that becomes the thing you see in abundance of. You may be having an abundance of love and abundance of opportunities and abundance of relationship and love potentials around you at any given moment, but you're literally blind to them because you believe in lack.
[13:01]You're attached. Why? Lack feels more familiar to childhood. It felt familiar to not have my needs met as a kid.
[13:11]This feels familiar. This keeps these stories alive that things aren't fair, that I'm not good enough.
[13:17]What I'm trying to help you look at is question the belief, question the attachment, question the belief, I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy.
[13:28]That's not maybe true. But you believe it, so therefore you attract more and more blocking that which you actually want because you're attached. You might be attached to that story because it feels familiar.
[13:38]So for you to actually experience what you want, how to let go and intend at the same time is you can have an expectation without being attached to it.
[13:49]You can give The Expectation Effect, which is a book that talks about how we can all these different scientific experiments where you can expect to be eating a milkshake that has gluten in it, and then you you respond as if there were gluten in it, and there was no gluten in it. You just expected it because someone told you it, they lied to you.
[14:07]Same thing, where imagine you're a teacher and somebody says, hey, these kids over here are smart, these kids over here are dumb. At the end of the year, the kids that labeled us smart perform better than the kids is dumb.
[14:21]But guess what? The smart kids and the dumb kids, they're all the they they were just randomly chosen.
[14:28]So, it was your expectation of them brought out a better aspect of them. Your expectations of the kids to be dumb brought out that part of them.
[14:36]So once again, you were lied to. You're lied to in both situations. Well, sorry to be the bearer of good news and bad news. You were lied to about your attachments.
[14:49]You've simply believed that if you had this thing, you would then be whole and complete. If you had this person in your life, you'd be whole and complete.
[14:57]You've been lied to. And the first thing to recognize is that you've been lied to. Either by yourself, you've lied to yourself, or you've had family, not in some way you have to develop this betrayal bond.
[15:10]Like, I betrayed myself, my parents betrayed me. This is just happening to me. I'm a victim. No. Society, social conditioning, whatever you want to call it. There's an abundance of everything.
[15:20]You get what you focus on. You get what you believe to be true.
[15:26]When you let go of your attachment because you start trusting the present moment more, you will start more free.
[15:35]So my goal with this video is to show you that the attachment, if you would just let go of the attachment and be okay now and get into a flow state and follow your passion, you'd be less attached to that thing happening and guess what?
[15:49]It will be more likely to come into your life. Funny, isn't that?
[15:54]When my YouTube channel was doing the best, was when I was the least attached. I wasn't checking social blade every day. How many subscribers did I get today? How many subscribers did I get today? I knew I was energetically resisting that thing.
[16:05]Just like people, some people want to attract a relationship. They comment on my videos, and they're like checking they're like checking social blade. They're checking their DMs. They're checking that of uh text messages.
[16:17]Does someone like me? Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Am I good enough? Taking score. Taking score. Taking score. Instead of being present to the moment and enjoying your life.
[16:27]Are you butchering the vibration of the thing you want by taking score more often than you need to do it? Or is taking score and seeing that that thing isn't here a way for you to feel not good enough?
[16:41]A way for you to feel familiar energy to the past, where you can say, oh, see, the core story from childhood is that I'm not good enough.
[16:48]You see, no one's texted me back. You see, my YouTube channel's subscribers are going down. Oh.
[16:54]These are the beliefs that people have.
[16:58]So what if you stop taking score because the score is the outcome, and instead you focus on falling in love with the process!
[17:07]The process, a flow state. When you ask any amazing athlete, somebody that's that's an ice skater, or someone that's in the that's doing what they love, and you say, hey, before you made that game-winning shot, what were you thinking about?
[17:20]And they go, you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about the political climate and all this this this philosophy. No. I wasn't thinking. You're present.
[17:33]Present to the moment. So, understand that with this whole energy of attachment, attachment is meaning!
[17:40]You've given meaning and you're attached to meaning. Let go of the meaning. Be present. Enjoy life, and you will have more abundance in your life.
[17:48]But remember, there is only abundance, anyways. You're just blocking it and making it invisible to you. Why? Because it's not familiar.
[17:57]It may not be familiar for you to have a loving reflection in your life. It may not be familiar for you to have an abundance of money or an abundance of friends. You may be trying to protect yourself against friends.
[18:12]Against new friends, even. You know, I want new friends. I want to find my high vibe tribe. Well, maybe as a kid, you were more used to being in your room alone.
[18:22]And that felt more familiar. And there's a story there. People are going to hurt me. I'm an empath. I feel people's energies. When I go in public, I just feel so much.
[18:32]Well, guess what? The payoff of that story is that you stay in your house alone. Break out of your box.
[18:40]Break out of your attachments. Don't you know there's a whole reality out there that is responding to your energy every moment?
[18:46]Your attachments keep the blinders on. The attachment is the excess meaning you give things.
[18:54]When you can be good and present to the moment right meow, guess what? You're not carrying resistance. You've been lied to. You believe that the things that you want are going to make you happy, but they're not.
[19:12]I get more happiness out of making videos, doing what I love than I do of any specific number amount. I remember dreaming about the reality I live in now, where I can travel the world, live in abundance, eat at great restaurants.
[19:25]I do that now. But what makes in adds to happiness more than anything is me in the process of doing what I love.
[19:33]Me making videos, me helping people, me, you know, you you see so many you hear the stories, right? If people that win the lottery, $100 million.
[19:41]Guess what? Most of them go broke because they haven't become the person that can contain that $100 million, but also, they thought it was going to make them happy and then it isn't. They sabotage it.
[19:51]And a lot of them aren't even happy. They're addicted to drugs.
[19:56]A lot of people that retire then get depressed if they don't have another division, they don't have something else to put meaning into.
[20:03]When I'm saying is put meaning into the present moment. Put meaning into the flow state in your life. Put meaning into your passion. Put meaning into yourself. Put meaning into into healing, acknowledging, seeing, hearing, soothing, the inner child and part of you that thinks they need the attachment that's been lied to.
[20:21]And then don't don't develop a story, though, that, like, oh, you're lied to, and then parents, there's more more stuff that happened. They said to me, it wasn't true. No. Take responsibility for the meaning you give these things.
[20:32]And start to see trust reality. You don't have to control when you begin to trust and you see abundance all around you, the more you act in that energy, the more you'll find that your life really begins to change as a reflection.
[20:47]Now, by the way, if you want to learn how to elevate your vibration, the most powerful way to let go, I have a free course, it's a thousand dollar course for free called high vibe 101.
[20:56]It's in my free community called high vibe tribe. I'll go ahead and link it below. There's guided meditations in there. There's breathwork in there. Shows you how to repattern your nervous system for a new you. And then also, if you want a video to show you exactly how to master detachment and how that can completely transform your life from the inside out, check out this video right here.
