i wish someone was afraid of losing me…🌷🤍#shot #pov #shorts

[0:00]I'm terrified of losing people, but I'm even more terrified that they are not afraid of losing me. I'm scared that I hold them with such a heaviness in my chest, but they don't hold me at all. Not even loosely, not even absentmindedly. Not even in the way you hold something you might come back to later. I wish I could feel things less. Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel things at all. Because I can feel this. I can feel all of it. The way my absence makes no impact. The way my love for people has never been reciprocated. I can feel how I exist to people, and I can feel when I don't exist to them at all. And it's painful knowing you would take a bullet for someone who wouldn't even notice it hit you. I love people like I'm made of spare parts, replaceable, interchangeable. Something you only notice is missing when you need it, and even then they'll use something else anyway. And I hate that I know this and do nothing about it. I hate how aware I am. I hate that I can feel how I only exist barely in the minds of the ones that I love. And I don't really know what is worse. Knowing I'm forgettable, or knowing and still choosing to love despite it all.