Out of My Mind- ch. 13

[0:00]Penny, no! Mrs. V calls out, dragging Doodle behind her. Penny has scooted out of Mrs. V's front door and is halfway down the ramp from her porch, shouting, bye-bye. From under her green baseball cap, Butterscotch, at home in her backyard, would be having a doggy fit if she could see where Penny's trying to bolt. It's one of those early November days that an artist would love, red-bronze leaves, bright gold sunlight, left over summer. I don't blame Penny for trying to bolt. Mrs. V scoops her up and brings her back in the house. Gonna work, Penny pouts. Not today, honey buns, Mrs. V says firmly as she locks the front door. Penny loves wearing hats and playing dress up. Mom rarely buys fancy church lady hats for herself, but for Penny, she'll sometimes pick out a crazy-looking straw hat with bows and ribbons and bring it home. At home, Penny spends a crazy amount of time in the front of the hall mirror with a couple of Mom's plastic necklaces hanging down almost to her shoes. A purse on each arm and a hat tilted sideways on her head. Gotta go work, she'll say with her one hand on her hip. Who has she ever seen dressed like that going to work? Mom asks as we all crack up. She's only two. I'm not gonna be able to afford the kid when she's old enough to go shopping on her own, Dad always says. He snaps every cute pose, but the pose she makes with a cell phone camera. When Mrs. V sets Penny back down, Penny pokes her lips out, throws Doodle on the floor and wraps both arms around her chest. I laugh. I wish I had enough coordination to have an attitude. Here, Penny, why don't you sit down and draw me a picture instead? Mrs. V says, whipping out a box of crayons. Attitude forgotten. Penny grabs a handful of, probably begins to scribble all over the coloring book as well as Mrs. V's table. I wish I could use crayons. I'd draw a rose with a velvety red bloom and a green stem and a yellow-green leaves coming from it. I can see it so clearly in my mind, but of course, when I put a pencil or crayon in my stupid tight little fingers, all I can manage are squiggly lines. Nothing that looks even close to a rose. I want to draw it for Rose. She has rose designs on her notebooks and book bag. I don't know where her mother finds such cool stuff. Rose's name really fits her. She's pretty and delicate and nice to be around. If she has thorns like real roses do, I've never noticed. While Penny is busy with her crayons, Mrs. V checks her mail. She opens several envelopes then gasps with surprise. Guess what, girls? she exclaims. I've won a contest. I looked at her with interest. Penny continues to scribble, ignoring both of us. I entered an essay contest at the bookstore in the mall. She explains to me, the topic was why fish are important in our world ecology. I point to food on my board and smirk. No, silly. She reaches over and tickles me. I wrote something about oceans and the balance of nature. I don't honestly remember what I said, but I won first prize, a trip for six to the new downtown aquarium. All expenses paid, stupendous. I've seen the commercials on television for the aquarium. It's supposed to have sharks and turtles and penguins and a million other sea animals. Go, I ask by pointing on my board. Well, besides me, I don't know who else to take, she says, scratching her head and grinning. I kick my foot straps loose. Me, me, I want to scream. Instead, I point to myself. Hmm, who could I take? Mrs. V teases, looking around the kitchen. I can tell she's trying hard not to laugh. Me, me, I jab. Well, of course I'll take you, Mellow Yellow. Mrs. V says, smiling. Just think of all the new words we'll gather. I'm going to write down the names of every single fish for you to learn. I slap my hand. I slap my head pretending to be upset. So if I take you and Penny, your mom and dad and me, that's five. I wonder who else we could take. She scrunches up her face thinking. I know immediately. Rose could go with us. I spell out her name. R O S E and again, R O S E. Then I hit please. Hmm, your friend Rose from school? I buck and kick with excitement. I think that's a great idea, Melody. I'll ask your parents and her parents, and if she's willing, we'll have a wonderful day. I can't stop kicking my feet. It takes several weeks before both mom and dad are off work on a Saturday, but Thanksgiving weekend ends up working out for everybody. I have trouble sleeping the night before. Rose's parents seem really nice from what I could tell from listening to Mom's end of the conversation. I couldn't believe Rose wanted to come. She wanted to come with me, the kid in the chair. At school, Rose whispered with me about the trip, just like I'd seen other girls do when they have secrets. I felt like a real girl. Now that the Saturday is finally here, we all pile into our SUV early in the morning. Even though the weather is turned pretty chilly, I made sure mom put a really nice outfit on me, cute jeans and no sweats. Rose hasn't said anything about what I'm wearing, but she keeps cooing over Penny. Your sister is adorable, Melody, Rose says. I smile and nod. Penny reaches out her chubby little hands and claps. Woosy, she says. I think she said my name. Rose exclaims. Your sister's not only cute, she's a genius. As we drive, Rose chatters with my parents and Mrs. V like she's known them all her life. I watch it all silently, thinking this has to be the best day of my life. When we get to the aquarium, Dad unloads my chair and eases me into it while Mom gets Penny's stroller out and straps her in. Rose pushes Penny as Mom pushes me so we can all be side by side. The place is crowded. I guess because it's a holiday weekend. Nobody pays any attention to me, which is perfect. I can almost forget who I am. Inside, fish tanks go from floor to ceiling. I think of Ollie. He might have been happy here. In one take, sharks swim overhead, just like we're actually looking up from the ocean floor. Okay, so Ollie might not have been so happy in that tank. I've never seen so many fish from all over the world, it seems. Fish with spikes and spots, fish with markings so beautiful, they look painted. Penny slaps at the glass whenever the fish comes close. Fishies, more fishies. Mrs. V has promised, writes down names of species and takes pictures so I can remember when we get back home. Mom and Dad whisper together like teenagers. I've never seen them so relaxed. We stop in front of every tank. I love the jellyfish, which remind me of streams of shiny cloth and that lion fish, which really do look like little swimming lions. At the seahorse tank, Rose observes that their heads point backwards. She seems to be having a great time. Then, from around the corner, come two people I'd least want to run into. Molly and Clare. They're with a girl scout troop. They're fake bumping into each other, not paying much attention to their group leader, who is telling them about the percentage of salt found in ocean water. Molly and Clare, dressed exactly like in jeans, long sleeve T-shirts, and scout vests, look at Rose with surprise. Hey, Rose, you here with your mom? Clare asks. Uh, no, Rose says evasively, walking away from us and toward them. Your dad? Molly says, looking at me like I smell bad. And she's acting like my parents are invisible. I'm here with Melody and her family. Rose mumbles. On purpose? Clare shrieks. Both she and Molly start laughing loudly. It's not so bad, Rose says quietly, but I heard her. Mom starts to say something to the girls, but Dad takes her arm. They're children, he tells her. Let them work it out themselves. Mom has those daggers in her eyes, the sharp point she shoots at people who say dumb things about me, but she stays quiet, her fists are balled. Mrs. V, however, isn't going to let anybody stop her. From her almost six-foot height, she towers over Molly and Clare. You, girl with braces on your teeth. Clare looks up at her stunned. Yes, ma'am, Clare has sense enough to say. Why do you think your parents spent good money getting you braces? Huh? Clare looks confused. Molly has quietly disappeared into her scout troop. Your teeth were imperfect, so your parents got you braces. One day you'll thank them when you get a date for the prom. Mrs. V roars. The whole scout troop, plus a few other visitors to the aquarium, stop and listen to her. What are my teeth have to do with anything? Clare asks, looking around nervously. Some people get braces on their teeth. Some get braces on their legs. For others, braces won't work, so they need wheelchairs and walkers and such. You're a lucky girl that you only had messed up teeth. Remember that. Yes, ma'am. Clare says again. Then she scurries off to join her friends. Rose walks back to us then, a little embarrassed, I think. Clare can be clueless, she whispers to me. You think? After a few more tanks, Penny gets tired and starts to whine, so we leave the aquarium before we even get to see the penguins. We take Rose home and she thanks us properly and says she had a real good time. But did she?