[0:00]So our whole country's being destroyed. Our government created a ban, a social media ban, banning all kids from social media.
[0:08]You know, so they can grow up like we did in the 90s. My car just got egged on the freeway. I haven't seen kids egging cars since 1995. Like we're forcing kids to socialize like what we did in the 90s. And now they're going to socialize like we did in the 90s. Like kids used to be fighting in the comment section. Now they're fighting in my shop at mall. I'm just trying to get some milk and some tampons for my wife. I ain't got time for this crazy. The kids used to sit in their rooms like zombies. Now our stupid government has kicked them out of the house and started a zombie apocalypse. This whole law, it's all about pointless nostalgia, like we remember the 90s with rose-colored glasses. Like we didn't have no internet, but man, I never will forget the way we throw a Molotov cocktail into a Telstra phone booth. Like we weren't angels, we're psychos. My jacket got stolen from my clothes line last night. I haven't seen clothes line shopping since the 90s. Like, how are we going to convince that kid that it's more fun to go back and buy a jacket on Roblox? I'm at the bottle, some teenagers come up to me and they're like, could you buy us some beer? Like that's back. And I'm like, look, kid, I ain't buying you beer. What are they going to do? Like kill me with a TikTok dance? Our government needs to ring Mark Zuckerberg immediately and apologize and ask him if he'll take care of our kids again.
