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The Arc Raider’s Asylum

TheBurntPeanut

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[0:03]Holy [ __ ] >> [laughter and gasps] >> I would say those guys are not from Brazilian lands.
[2:22][laughter] >> I think the words get [ __ ] are the same in English as they are in Portuguese.
[2:22]I thought Oh, that's different than the bung That's different than the bung bungle beetle.
[2:22]FOR LEGAL PURPOSES If you're not a [ __ ] There were knocks bottom right, I think.
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[0:03]How much of those bombs are you asking? Die! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love Show yourselves, stay right there. I WILL TAKE care of these hooligans alone. Oh, [ __ ] Yeah, good luck with all five of them. I don't need luck. Soon as my cell phone gets done recharging. Doesn't even have one yet. >> it. It's not worth the beat. Butcher, they're all the It's worth it. It's worth it. How many are there? There's all three. Make it a thousand. All right, HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. >> YEP, RIGHT THERE. YEP, little to the right. >> HERE WE GO. Here we go. >> Here we go. >> one right there. Here we go. >> had a [ __ ] Yep, right there. HERE WE GO. >> YEP, RIGHT THERE. Here we go. >> HERE WE GO. GOT IT. THERE YOU GO. GOT IT. [screaming] I GOT YOU, BUTCHER. I GOT YOU. WELL, I'VE DONE ALL I can do. Excellent raid, gentlemen. Excellent raid. >> [laughter] >> Oh, man. But [snorts] a beer war bomb? So, that was Tech? No, that was Tech. Yeah, I Those guys didn't sound very Brazilian. Holy [ __ ] >> [laughter and gasps] >> I would say those guys are not from Brazilian lands. I would No, I didn't hear much Portuguese. >> [laughter] [laughter]

[2:22][laughter] >> I think the words get [ __ ] are the same in English as they are in Portuguese. I think that's that's where the misunderstanding is coming from. Well, back to holding corners with shotguns. That's what I'm good at. Yeah, we're probably going to have to change up the strategy a bit. I do have a new technology called the bungle. I thought Oh, that's different than the bung That's different than the bung bungle beetle. Yeah, that's different than the bungle beetle. Yeah, mhm. This is the bungle wall. What we needed is four explosive mines. I have zero. And one wall. I have a wall. Can you bring the mines? Good. Good. I I'm activating super duper tech. Take $20 of the 10K I just won at THE CASINO. THANK YOU, MR. SHANE. GODSPEED. [screaming] PUT IT ON BLACK AND DOUBLE IT. For legal purposes, that's a joke. FOR LEGAL PURPOSES, THAT PSYCH. PSYCH. FOR LEGAL PURPOSES If you're not a [ __ ] There were knocks bottom right, I think. Bottom right what? Uh like bottom like bottom right where the big chicken spawns? I don't see any one. That's actually the top right if you look at the map. Is it? Yeah, at the top right. Mhm. Mhm. We're at the bottom right. Sorry, the top right. >> Yeah, you're thinking of the top right. Okay, top right but they're but they're bottom right. But top right of the bottom right. Got it. TOP RIGHT GOT IT. TWO. >> [snorts] >> WHO'S THAT? ONE HERE. Who there WHO THERE HUNTER IT'S YOUR TIME TO GOOF AROUND. LET'S LOCK IN. DOWN HERE. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE. THREE TWO ONE GET THEM. ROCK THEM. OH DUDE [screaming] THEY'RE THEY'RE RETURNING FIRE. ANOTHER TEAM ANOTHER TEAM WHO DID WHO DID WHO DID YOU? GOT YOU DOWN LANE. HUNTER MAKE SURE THOSE BOMBS ARE IN YOUR ASS. OH BEHIND US ON THE STAGE. WAIT WHO THE NOT? WHERE? Who's that? I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. OH I'M GETTING SHOT FROM EVERYWHERE. RUN. ALL RIGHT COME IN LOBBY. COME IN LOBBY. COME IN LOBBY. >> [laughter] >> THIS GUY RAN UP THE STAIRS.

[4:49]WHO'S THAT MAN RIGHT DOWN THERE? YOU'RE CHEATING WITH BLASTING ME FROM FROM EVERYWHERE. Hunter they're going TO PULL UP. >> [screaming] >> THERE DUDE THERE'S NO [ __ ] WAY. THEY'RE both Oh that's a bomb. >> One's in the corner here. Oh look at it. Keep on pinging. Keep on pinging. Look at the bomb. LOOK AT THE BOMB. POST ON CORNER. Get your bunch. Get your bunch. You can pump me. You can pump me. You got to keep Poke him. Poke him. PUSH THEM BACK. HOLD THE LINE. I'M HEALING. HEALING HEALING HEALING. OH I CHEATED I DROPPED through the smoke. These are both as well. Oh well it's better. All right hold on. Hold on. I think I cracked one. I'm breaking the wall. Breaking the wall. You want to be broken? Side door. I'm looking for it. I put mines. You need one at the door. You need one at the door. Okay. I got I got mines all ready, guys. Wait, the rocket here is outside. They're They're They're What What you want to do? >> going to flank us, bro. They're going to FLANK US. >> OH MY GOD. OH, I'M DEAD INSTANTANEOUSLY. I never stood a chance. Yeah, you did. Push it. I can't move, P. I can't move. Dead on one. Dead on one. Dead on one. No. Oh. On right. Tight right. TIGHT RIGHT. OTHER ONE SWINGING. SWINGING. OTHER ONE DEAD. NO WAY. WE'RE THE WINNERS. I GOT A NEW TEAM. We're winning. Yeah, I GOT TWO [ __ ] NUKES. YOU SEE THAT, HUTCH? YOU WAS killing it. >> I think Nick was tight, Hutch, cuz the the the Charlie was up there shooting, man. Okay. Got to be right. That's all, bro. [ __ ] yeah. >> Dude, that was good. Holy [ __ ] Hutch. You feeling that, man? You hear that, [ __ ] yeah? That would have didn't have a even the slightest bit of SARCASM [laughter] IN IT. HOLY [ __ ] NICK IS A CHEATER. DUDE, WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE PLAYING WITH A DUMBASS? [ __ ] WE CAN'T LOSE. I LOSE THIS GUY. PETER, drop it for Hutch. Peter, drop it for Hutch. Okay. Okay. Here you go. Here you go. Drop it for Hutch. Here you go, Chief. Here you go, Chief. Mhm. Does it have good attachments? It does. Okay. Peter, come here. What what? REALLY? MY BAD. [screaming] HEY. NO [laughter] WAY. NO WAY. YOU SEE THAT, BOYS? LET'S LEAVE. OKAY, BE CAREFUL. There was a team Your middle name is not careful. You're not careful. >> she did. Bird careful peanut. Oh my god. New jet? What new jet? How did you slide down so fast? By pressing the slide button. I did that. I did that. Look at that. 171,000 PEOPLE WATCHING. OH, TAKE THOSE. TAKE THOSE. TAKE THOSE. HIT THE BUTTON. I'M JUST KIDDING. HIT THE BUTTON. OH, SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME. OH, SHOOT ME. SHOOT ME. >> [laughter] >> Excellent raid, gentlemen. Excellent raid. I was TOO STABBY, BOY. NOT TOO STABBY. FIRST WIN OF THE NIGHT. First win of the night. >> [applause] >> Just jerked one out in celebration. You know what? I'm going to bring the Bobcat in. That's how confident I am that our winning streak will continue on and go to two. [ __ ] yeah. Is he dead or not? NO. JOE ROGAN IS NOT DEAD. RIP Joe Rogan is just something people have been spinning IN MY CHAT FOR TWO YEARS. TWO YEARS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. RIP ABRAHAM LINCOLN. All right, that [ __ ] is dead. That guy is dead. Joe Rogan is alive. That guy isn't dead. Abraham Lincoln, he is dead. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. COOL HAT, THOUGH. I'M GOING TO GET SERIOUS. YOU BOYS READY FOR A great raid. Yeah, Mr. Peanut. All right, pal. Let's slow it down this side. That would be mine. Oh, Space Jesus is about to kill us. FLYING AT US. RUN! HE TRAVELS AT OUR. OH MY GOD. GO, GO, GO. GET PEANUT. GET PEANUT. LOOK AT HUTCH. LOOK AT HUTCH. HE'S THE SLOWEST ONE. PLEASE GET PEANUT. PLEASE GET PEANUT. IT'S ON ME. GET SNIPERS ON US. IT'S ME. RUN! >> [laughter] >> OH GOD, NO. OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. GO, GO, GO. IT'S ON PEANUT. OH [screaming] MY GOD. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! OH MY GOSH, THERE'S PEOPLE UP HERE. THERE'S PEOPLE UP HERE. GET THE [ __ ] OUT OF MY WAY. OH MY. TO THE BUNKER WALL, QUICKLY. I'M IN. Oh my god. WHO'S MY LAST FRIEND? GUYS, GO TO THE SWIGGLE THIS WAY. GO, GO, GO. HOLD ME, I GOT TO HEAL. HOLD ME, I got to heal. Hold Hold me. Hold me. OKAY. I'M I'M SHUTTING UP THE BUNKER WALL. TAKE A LOOK at that, Hutch. You see that? That's advanced alien technology right there. As soon as they open that door, you get reduced to mere molecules. Mhm. Mhm. You see that, big man? You see that? >> [laughter] >> THAT LOOKS AWESOME. YEAH. YEAH. Come take a look, Mr. Nick Nacks, if you desire. Oh yeah. >> [laughter] >> Wait, guys, THERE'S ONE THERE'S ALREADY SOMEONE COMING. YOU HEAR THAT? AT THE BOTTOM. NOBODY MOVE. NOBODY MOVE. Nobody move. Nobody move. Oh, wait. Wait. Hold on. You cooked right here. I see the vision. You see the vision? [laughter] You see the vision? >> the vision. Oh my god. Shut the [ __ ] up. Oh my god. This [ __ ] Lord, like you do. >> [laughter] [screaming] >> WE DID IT. WE DID IT. Oh my god. OH. WE'RE THE WINNERS. REAL. HEY, ELLIOT. Good work, BOYS. GOOD WORK. YOU SEE that bug walking right there? That's how it's done, boys. Hope you had your pen and your papers out for that one. That was awesome. Holy [ __ ] 100% success rate. The 100% from the I can't believe it. That did not kill them, or did it? Just the guy up top? >> Which is one, but usually when they're breaking in, there's they're all three there. It kills the whole team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, we got to [ __ ] do that. Oh my god, it's awesome. It's free loot. Why is your flashlight on, man? Team just ran in front door. Just ran in front door. Dude, wait. Here we go. Get up. One's in. Two's in. They're crouching behind front desk. Let's sneak up on the big boss. On corner. Not bigging me. Not bigging me. So, not bigging me. What are they breaking into over there? There's a team upstairs. There's a team in front of him. NO! ONE SHOT AT DESK. ONE ONE [ __ ] ONE DOWN ONE DOWN. That's odd. THAT'S ME THAT'S ME. HE'S CROUCHING BEHIND THE RECEPTION DESK. DEAD. WHERE'S THE THIRD AMIGO? RIGHT UP TOP right up top. >> What the God damn it Moses. Hey will YOU WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT I'M TRYING TO FOCUS. TRYING TO FOCUS. I'M NOT SEEING anyone else. I Where's the third amigo at? I have above you hear him above. Come with me come with me. Don't worry about [ __ ] Follow me boy. >> I hear those big feet. Come here. That's odd. No no no. >> How do you know it's me? How do you How do you know it's me? Well it's because you sound like there's a stampede of cattle behind me. I couldn't hear you you just sound like a rolling turd cuz you ain't GOT NO LEGS. WHAT? DAMN. >> HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? HE'S IN HERE SOMEWHERE. CAN YOU HEAR THIS [ __ ] BOY? ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS IT TRUE? WHAT THE HELL? >> HAVE any legs or you or or arms or head. >> What the hell are we talking about? WHAT ARE THESE CARDS? I'LL BE WAIT HE'S STUPID. >> [laughter] >> THEY'RE DUMB. THEY'RE DUMB THEY'RE DUMB. Now it's time to check if they're poor. Well. No they're dumb and poor. The evidence is conclusive. [laughter] I I just As I was shooting him turned and looked at me like why? Yo T this is the single dad lobbies being coached you having yesterday. >> [laughter] >> Why would you do such a thing? Don't do this to me. I'm I'm getting word that you may be in possession of a bobcat of the state are you not? I do not have a bobcat. Who would I That is not what I have heard. I have heard you are in possession of a bobcat of the state. Are you not? No, I have no bobcat. >> Point it out in your inventory. Point it out. I don't have a bobcat. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. WELL, I don't know what you want from me then. Did you go kill those guys? He's died. He's died. You eating something? Chicken with sauce all over the place and rice and and greens and chicken. Are you Is that actually what you're eating? >> Chicken. Chicken slovaki. Yeah, yeah. Chicken from Slovakia? I don't know if it's from [laughter] Slovakia, but I think it's inspired by the slovaki. It's Greek. Wait. That's like a fancy meal. Would you have a wife? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, you don't. No, you don't. I'm getting a load of this guy. You have a wife or something. No, you don't. I got a wife and >> Come on. Guys, we're all adults here. We don't need to lie to each other. Let's get serious. Let's get serious for a second. Where did you get that food at? Well, I didn't make it. TIME [laughter] TIME WITH THE WIFE AGAIN. I'M GETTING I'M GETTING A LOAD OF THIS GUY. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I WANT I DON'T WANT to tell him. I don't want to tell him. All right. All right. I don't want to tell him cuz he's going to be a little [ __ ] about it all [ __ ] night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Wait, you know what? You know what? The first thing you said when we started gaming, Nick, is "Hey, what about this Oh my god. So, I'm going to say it. Peanut, it was made by his private chef. Are we being so [ __ ] for real right now? [laughter] Are we being super-duper for real right now? Money is playing on his solid gold gaming chair and his solid gold mansion on his solid gold island surrounded by his solid gold lake with a private chef whipping him up a deluxe five-star meal. You hear this guy, Hutch? >> Just a little. HE THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN I AM. THAT'S MY BOY RIGHT THERE. >> HE THINKS HE'S BETTER THAN I AM. HE HE'S HE'S SPITTING ON US. WHAT A PIECE OF [ __ ] What a piece of [ __ ] And it is incredible. I cannot believe >> We're going to be ordering Big Macs tonight and Yeah, like real men. Hell yeah. AM I RIGHT, BOYS? [screaming] NO, I STILL GET DOWN WITH A BIG MAC NOW. All right. All right, Reggie. All right, pal. >> [laughter] >> But do you take your private chef like Taylor Swift over to the local McDonald's? [ __ ] you. Private chef. [ __ ] die. In the game, of course. >> [laughter] >> In the game, of course. >> Yeah. Yeah. We reset. Let's go. I could go I could go. We got good luck with the bung wall. It's time to time to do do a quick repeat. My favorite part of this raid is the positive vibes. We're just three best friends ever met, Craig. Uh, dirty sexual tension between you and your private chef? Everybody stop. Excuse me? Why do you Don't you work Oh. Oh. Oh, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. >> [screaming and groaning] >> WHAT THE WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT? OH. SOMEONE IN THE HILLS. Oh my gosh, there is someone in the hills. Oh, what was that? I think there's someone behind us. Watch out. Oh my god. I thought I saw one. I thought I saw one. GO GENTLE. GO GENTLE. WAIT, WAIT. They're close. Make haste. HIT THE BUTTON. HIT THE BUTTON. IT DIDN'T RAIN, GENTLEMEN. It didn't rain. Be safe. I'm saying that the three of us are really winning. Maybe Drac was the problem. I don't know. I think Drac was the problem. The last three times we played we >> he cheats animal crossing. I made that up, too. But I we think we should spread that around as misinformation. I think we I think that'd be the right move. Are you in, Hutch Wynn? >> in peanut stream No, no. Don't do that. No. Do not do that. Do not do that. My fault? Uh whoa. Oh, [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] >> [ __ ] jokes about a Goopa? Uh no. No, Nickmercs was saying it was your fault. And I was here defending your honor. He was saying, "Fuck that Drac guy. I hate him personally. He's a piece of [ __ ] And he's a horrible player." And I said, "No. Stop saying that." >> No, then he said then he said he hates the rich people. Starve the rich. I'm going to go be friends with Hassan and [ __ ] All this other [ __ ] he was saying, bro. He's crazy. Do you hear on the stream? No. Nickmercs was saying I hate DRAC. I HATE DRAC. I hate his family. I hate the way he walks. I hate the way he talks. I hate the way he plays the game. And I was sitting here defending your honor. I said, "No. Stop." I swear we were Hutch, tell him. a couple of those things, you know. Hutch, Hutch, who said you were >> I feel like they're trying to climb out OF MY FACE. >> [laughter] >> HE'S ON three three times the dosage that his doctor prescribed him of methamphetamines. Please ignore him. Please ignore him. You know this [ __ ] has a private chef? He has one for breakfast and [laughter] for dinner. He has two private chefs? No, no. Two teams of private chefs. No, I don't I don't have two teams. He does. He does. >> fill a baseball field with the opposing and the home team with just private chefs. Yeah, wait till you hear about the cleaning team. >> [laughter] >> Dude, no way. Dude, you actually have cleaners, too? We have Dude, this guy's house is looking spick-and-span. This guy is This guy's This guy's house is looking clean as [ __ ] I Private chefs, private cleaners. >> Two cats, two dogs. What do you want? There's hair everywhere, bro. WHAT DO YOU WANT? I'VE GOT DOGS, TOO. I DON'T I DON'T I DON'T I HIRED THE [ __ ] [screaming] I HAVE 14 GENTLEMEN WITH VACUUMS TO come in and clean it up for me. I just live with that. They're cool dogs. >> [laughter] >> Let's ride. Yeah, I don't know what you're I got it. We got I have two two kids, two dogs, two cats, you know what I mean? It's the house is [ __ ] mayhem, you know? The cleaning team comes every couple weeks, baby, you know? Private chef Save your dogs, put your kids up for adoption, and divorce your wife. Now your house will be clean [laughter] all the time. >> He thinks he thinks we should put the kids up for adoption. What do you think? >> [laughter] >> Wait, are you telling that to your wife? You said to your wife I told you to Tell me to put your kids up for adoption. No, she's right here. She Yeah, she's listening to you. All right. Oh. Could you hear me? Could you hear me? Could you hear me? All right. We can hear YOU NOW, YEAH. PUT THE [screaming] KIDS UP FOR ADOPTION! LET'S RIDE. HE'S REALLY guys are [ __ ] idiot, man. Who? He's He's just that is zip-zapped out of his mind. Who? Hinch? Yeah, yeah. No, he's locked in. He only knows fine dining and breathing. >> 500 [ __ ] Yeah. Fine dining and breathing. Look at him. Look at him. I bet he doesn't even know we're talking about him. >> [laughter] >> Yo, what's up, bro? Yeah. You're hanging around? All right, dig him out there. Hutch, make sure not to check your scan. That's where the bugs are. I don't know if this is going to get us cancelled, but I don't think I've ever had more fun than playing Apex on meth. >> [laughter] >> Stop, bro. Yo, YOU LOVE YOUR APEX. >> [laughter] >> DUDE, YOU HUTCH IS HAVING the time of his life right now. I'm flipping people with a 301, man. There's just no way. R-99, R-301, Sentinel. Half half cord shot with the Sentinel, pal. I did this. >> [laughter] >> Did you threat just [ __ ] did it? Hell yeah. Uh Dude, do we ever fight each other in Apex? I probably didn't even remember your name when I wiped your [ __ ] right? >> Well, you probably weren't my rank, so you probably couldn't play with me. You there, buddy? Damn. Yeah, right. Oh, I was I was a predator. TWO-TIME BACK-TO-BACK PREDATOR, PAL. >> [screaming] >> UNDER UNDER UNDER UNDER >> [screaming] >> F M F 2 ONE DOWN ONE DOWN. THOSE GUYS TWO DOWN TWO DOWN. I'M GOING IN. I'M BEHIND YOU, BIG FEET. I'M GOING TO HEAL UP, ACTUALLY. YOU GOT THAT, CHIEF. KNOCKING. THEY'RE DEAD. WHERE THEY AT, BOYS? WHERE THEY AT? WHERE THEY AT? SHOW ME THE ENEMY. HOPE WE WIN. I THINK >> [screaming] >> OH, GOOD JOB. WE HAD THAT NEW AUGMENT where you can put a gun in your butt hole. Mhm. Mhm. >> [laughter] >> By the gods. Hatch, I am getting word Oh, no way. SCORE. This guy had put his staple back in his butt. Let's go. Now, Hatch, I am getting word that you are in possession of a bobcat off the state. Do you or do you not? Bro, you did this last game. No, I have not. Uh that is not uh what I am seeing on the reports that I'm getting. I am getting word that you have a bobcat off the state. Do you or do you not? Come come come. Yallah yallah habibis. Come on. I do not. Hm. OH, THERE'S A GUY RIGHT THERE. WHAT THE HELL? KILL HIM. OH, HE'S HE MIGHT BE CHEATING. GO GO go go. >> Oh, weird. Careful, watch. I'm I'm going to wrap around right. I'm going to do this one, Kuji. Uh nothing but headies. Nothing but headies. Nothing but headies. Nothing but headies. On me. Pinning me. Pinning me. Pinning me. Sliding down. GOT ME. SAY HIS NAME. CHEATER'S DEAD. CHEATER'S DEAD. >> OH, YOU GOT HIM. GOT YOU. CHEATER'S DOWN. CHEATER'S DOWN. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. WE GOT THIS. CHEATER'S HIM. THAT'S ONE. TAKE THAT, CHEATER. THERE'S THE CHEATER. THERE'S THE CHEATER. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. KNOCKED HIM. KNOCKED ANOTHER ONE. UH ON MY RIGHT. I'M GETTING shot from up top, boys. Lit him up. Lit him up. Nice. Really weird. Really weird. Really I'm going down. I'm going down. I'm going YOU HIT THE DUCK. GOT to do it. Got to do it. Phew. That was a close one. Super rapid. Super rapid. Come on. YOU SUPER SUPER RAPID SUPER RAPID. MHM. MHM. MHM. YO. YO. YO. I'm in the snooch. I'm going to do it with my [ __ ] you later. [ __ ] you later. Yeah, gang. Yeah, Hutch is Yeah, Hutch is quite large, but we're still his friend. Fall back. Forward the power gorilla on your neck. Hold that neck does not rhyme with back. Oh, Hutch is a big back AND HE'S ON CRACK. I mean, open your mouth. He got to massage food. It puts him in A GOOD MOOD. YEAH. OH, OH, [ __ ] IF YOUR METRO don't trust you, I'm going to It's going to He's going to shoot you. Oh my gosh, boys, come over here and just look down. Did you see your toes for the first time? Look at Oh, look. [ __ ] All right, I killed that guy Hutch and literally saved your life by doing it. Um and you are stealing the loot. So, that's kind of weird. Um I literally saved your life by killing this person and uh you're taking the loot. So, that's something That's something of note. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. >> Go ahead. Okay, well, it seems there's two pieces missing. Uh they seem to be vital pieces. Um it looks like you just found a bobcat. No, I'm getting worried that you JUST GOT A BOBCAT. YEAH, YEAH. HUTCH, no way. I saved your life, killed the cheater for the team, saving the team, and you steal my bobcat. That was it off of that guy. I swear. That's what they all say. This was off of that guy. Hutch, I will suck you silly for that bobcat. Got any shotguns? [clears throat] Uh unfortunately, no. I only I literally only have an 81. I do have an extra snap hook. Last thing I want. >> I do have an extra snap hook and I have the new augment that lets you put something in your butt. I'll take the snap hook. Okay, snap hook. I'll be your dad. I'll be your comms. >> snap hook. Here. Is that Okay. Okay. >> Excuse me. >> Excuse me. I sneezed. Excuse me. I sneezed. Excuse me. I sneezed. [ __ ] you. HEY. OH, YEAH. HEY. OH, YEAH. I don't have any spots left either. >> [laughter] >> Let's leave. I cannot believe you guys killed that dude. Let's go. Yeah, again again, this is not a you guys situation. This is a me situation. Good job, Nick. Well well actually, they need to be dead. Does anyone have a hatch key? An arc orbiter is ON THE >> [laughter and gasps] >> A DROID. NINE TURN [screaming] SEMI, TURN TO STONE. DON'T BE WITHOUT A BACKBONE. [screaming] NINE TURN SEMI, TURN TO STONE. >> [screaming] >> DON'T BE WITHOUT A BACKBONE. HOW WE feeling now, boys? Oh. >> How we feeling now? You feeling it? >> Electricity is in the room. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I could put a fork in an outlet and the outlet would die. That's how REJUVENATED I AM. >> [laughter] >> [ __ ] YEAH. Follow me, boys. Follow me, boys. >> What? Get the [ __ ] out of my way. Get out of here. [ __ ] Get the [ __ ] out of my God, I wish you were an enemy. Don't even look at Don't even look at me. >> [snorts] [laughter] >> You look AT ME, I'M [ __ ] YOU. I TEAMMATES ARE ON METH. I NEED HELP. IS IT cold outside? [snorts] NICE PULL. THEY HAVE NO CHOICE. YOU LIKE TO EAT THIS STUFF. GO GO GO GO GO. OH, [ __ ] OH, YEAH. ON YOUR RIGHT. ON YOUR RIGHT. ON YOUR RIGHT, HUTCH. ON YOUR RIGHT. ON YOUR RIGHT, HUTCH. YOU'RE [ __ ] PILLAR, HUTCH. >> [screaming] >> HUTCH. BROKE HIM. BROKE HIM. JESUS CHRISTMAS. WORK IT. WORK IT. WORK IT. WORK IT. WHERE'S THE THIRD ONE? ALL RIGHT. EAT MY [ __ ] EAT MY POOP. EAT MY [ __ ] EAT MY POOP. ALL DEAD. All All dead. Cocaine. Liquid cocaine. What the [ __ ] is going on? >> It'll be the group. This guy's on crack. Good job, cracky. Yeah, good job, Becca. Good work. >> [laughter] >> Good job, cracky. Come on, CRACKY. BACK INSIDE. >> [laughter] >> ON THE WAY. OH, MAN. >> [laughter and gasps] >> Where's the enemy? SHOW ME THE ENEMY. >> [laughter] >> TAKE ME TO THE SLAUGHTER. >> [laughter] >> HOW DO YOU SOUND LIKE THAT? AWESOME. WHERE'S THE ENEMY AT? I TOLD I DON'T KNOW. SHOW ME THE ENEMY. HOW ARE MY EYES SWEATING? I think that's what [ __ ] call crying. BY THE WAY. >> [laughter] >> OKAY, WE JUST DID two laps around the building cuz we couldn't sit still AND NOTHING HAPPENED. >> [laughter] >> ONE MORE LAP. ONE MORE LAP, BOYS. COME ON, BOYS. [screaming] I'M TIRED. I NEED SOME WATER. I NEED SOME RIGHT THERE. GO GO GO GO. OH, DING OH DING OH DING. YOU GOT ONE? NO, YOU guys are not Underneath. [ __ ] real. Yeah. Why? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHO WAS THAT? I'M GETTING PISSED, BOSS. WHO'S THAT WITH THAT BOYS? Where is he? Down that lane. Down that lane, P. Last seen. I don't know. I don't know. You missed one. He's right here. Where is he? Up top. I thought he jumped down below. Where did this guy go? >> Who did you guys see? I would jump off the stairs right here. I did too. I did too. Where is that guy? I don't know. I don't know. Did someone just reshelled or is that That was me. That was me. No, no. Where the HELL IS HE AT? YOU SEE HIM, BOYS? WHAT THE [ __ ] Did he go down the ramp? >> This guy is elusive. On me, I'm dead. Oh, I got YOU, MOTION. I'M COMING. ALL IN HERE. GO GO GO. THROW NADES. OH, HOW MANY GRENADES? FIRE. >> I'VE GOT YOU, I'VE GOT YOU. DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND. THEY'RE GOING TO FALL ME. INSIDE THE ROOM, P. I'm coming. Free kids. They're free kids. I literally MISSED EVERY SHOT. CHARGE! [screaming] BACK THE [ __ ] OUT OF ONE. THEY'RE NOT FREE. They're not free. They're not free. Broken. Broken. HEAL. RES. RES. RES. RES. BROKEN ANOTHER ONE. BROKEN ANOTHER ONE. DYING. BEHIND ME. BEHIND ME. BEHIND ME. OH MY GOODNESS. Oh my goodness. I'm behind I'm behind. Broken. Broken. Broken. We're way far. Dude, they're far. They're far. Okay, got you. Got you. Yeah, you're good. You're good. You're good. Right here. Right here. Right here. We need to get out OF HERE. GO THAT WAY. GO THAT WAY. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN. OH [ __ ] OH [ __ ] OH [ __ ] NO! RETREAT. RETREAT. RETREAT. That's going to help us. That's going to help US. JUST LEFT. LEFT. LEFT. LEFT. LEFT. LEFT. WE SHOULD WALL BEHIND US. WE SHOULD GET A LITTLE GRAY BEHIND US. THEN we can stay in front of the wall. I have a mine on my left. Nice. Don't Don't Don't push that. Don't push that. We have a full team on our left. Our close left. Good luck. Rends. Rends. Don't push that. I'm going. I'll kill. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I CAN KILL. CHARGE! YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE. I CRACKED ONE. ONE DOWN. ONE DOWN. HE'S ONE SHOT. HE'S ONE SHOT. BROKEN. BROKEN. DIE! [screaming] ON ME. ON ME. >> [screaming] >> I'M GOT YOU. ON ME. ON ME. I'M COMING, BOYS. I'M COMING. THERE'S NO WAY. THERE'S NO WAY. >> ME. NEED YOUR HELP. I SAW YOU. GO. GO. GO. SHOULD I LOBBY him for you? P. P's by you, P. Why you WAIT FOR ME? AND THEN ONE MORE. NICE. ONE MORE. ONE MORE SOMEWHERE. One more somewhere. Play together. Play together. I DON'T KNOW. EAT MY [ __ ] DIE! [screaming] WHO DOES [ __ ] OH, HUTCH. I love when you're rolling around just doing [ __ ] I can't feel my face. Mr. GUY, GOOD JOB. I KILLED HIM. OH. OH, GOOD WORK. GOOD JOB, BOYS. Good job. >> Good work OUT THERE, BOYS. YEAH, I KNEW THAT THEY WERE FREE. THEY DUDE, THAT Rattler that Rattler hits like crazy. I thought it was poop garbage. I mean, sometimes it is, sometimes it's Thanos snapping. Oh, sheesh. Sheesh. I wonder what would happen if your uncle was halfway inside you when he snapped and he just turned to dust right in your rectum. You tell me, bud. Think about that for a second. That'd be awkward. That would be awkward. Wait, what did you say? What did you say? Nothing important. By the way, let's I I think we're the last one, boys. Let's keep doing laps. Let's keep doing laps. Let's do like 10 laps. Let's do one more lap and then we'll leave. Come on, boys. Come on. Whenever we want to leave, we just start doing laps like sharks. Oh, that'd be cool. I don't know what I've been told. >> [laughter] >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE been told. Peanut got no [ __ ] toes. Peanut got no [ __ ] toes. I don't know what I've been told. I don't know what I've been told. Dodge's mom lashed me, dancing on the pole. All right, our mom jokes are open. HERE WE GO. [laughter] DUDE, THERE'S A TEAM RIGHT HERE, BOYS. HE'S DEAD. HE'S DEAD. HE'S DEAD. OH, I'M DEAD. I'M DEAD. HE'S BEHIND YOU. OH, NO. I KILLED HER OUTSIDE. WE'RE ON THE RIGHT. We're the winners. >> [snorts] [laughter] >> You're a disappointment. Getting a Reddit paragraph on you, big man. You get That's a Reddit paragraph. THAT'S A REDDIT PARAGRAPH. CHARGE. [screaming] WHO IS ONLY TWO? YEAH. By the way, just let you know what he said. To answer your question, Mr. Hutch, he said, "Muslim Ramadan." To which you said, "SHUT THE [ __ ] UP." >> [laughter] >> AND THEN YOU KILLED HIM. I THOUGHT HE WAS SPEAKING BRAZILIAN. YEAH, that You're going on Reddit, big man. That one's a Reddit post for you. I got to stop answering people cuz if you keep answering people >> lb sweaty man typing on Reddit right now. He's on his first [laughter] first sentence. None of that, HUH? BATMAN, BATMAN. YEAH, WE'RE JUST GOING TO WE'RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE HIM. LET'S IGNORE THEM. LET'S LEAVE. [ __ ] YOU. YOU SUCK. DIE. All right, hit the button. She's going to take the extract. The door is open. Excellent raid, gentlemen. Excellent raid. >> Win streak for the boys, MTB. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a three win in a row. That's a three winner. That's a three winner. Hello. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. Mhm. My winners my winners. All right. Wow. Wow. You know what that made me feel, Hutch? You know what that made me feel? >> [laughter] >> I know. I know what you mean. >> That made me feel like we should never let Nick Mercs choose ANOTHER SONG EVER. >> [laughter] >> NICK MERCS, IT WASN'T A BAD SONG. IT WAS ACTUALLY A REALLY good song, but it just Uh. I can't sing along. I don't know the song. Yeah. It didn't hype me up. I realized I realized right in the middle of that song that you that you just suck, man. You [ __ ] suck. You know? No Bruce Almighty, no Sean Paul Get Busy. That's two [ __ ] strikes. We're playing baseball. You got one more, big P. You got [ __ ] one more. How do YOU NOT KNOW [ __ ] [ __ ] BRUCE ALMIGHTY? YOU HAVE A foot fetish and like shitty songs. All right, I can't help you with that, [ __ ] You boys ready for a great raid? Hell yeah, PETER. YOU'RE THE GREATEST TEAM LEADER EVER. THAT'S RIGHT. LET'S DO IT. WHAT? GIVE ME THAT. Give me that. Give me that. Pardon me, boys. Mhm. Mhm. A Peanut doesn't know any good movies or songs. I know a ton of good movies and good songs. There's three on me and they're running at me. Oh my goodness. Oh my god, Hutch. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, Hutch. Hi. Hi. Yep. Hi. Hi. Shoot one. Shoot one. GET OUT OF HERE. Get out of here, you clown. One dead. Get out of here. Other one's cracked. I'm getting killed by an arc. Thank you. One drop down. One drop top, GUYS. ONE DROP TOP, ON THE ROOF, ROOF. I'm dead. No, I'm not. He go, go, go. >> that dropped in. He dropped all the way in. Dropped all THE WAY IN. RESET. WE SHOULD CHASE. THAT. GOT THE THING. GOT THE THING. Got the What about you, boys? We can We can drop front, we drop front, boys. behind you. Coming at me. Coming at me. AGAIN. I'M COMING, BOYS. I'M GOING RIGHT. I'M GOING RIGHT. I think he's in here somewhere. No, he's not. He's over here. Last seen on me. With you? Kind of. Where, where, where? How did you where? Under me? >> One just dropped down to the bottom in here. Oh, [ __ ] Hold this, guys. I told you he's over here somewhere. Let me know. Over far, BABY? OVER FAR? SHOW YOURSELF, DEMON. [screaming] WHERE'S HE AT, BOYS? WHERE'S HE AT? I don't know. I think he's in the building, bro. Where'd he go, boys? WHERE'D HE GO? THIS GUY IS GOOD. Be careful, boys. He's going to be looking around any corner. We need first aid. Come on by, unsuspecting. Oh. Ooh. Oh, those are mine. Up top. There's Left top, top, roof over here. One dead. Could be a new team. Careful. Behind you. Right behind you. We just see him go with shots. Right down here, below us. He dropped all the way down. Maybe panel. HE NOTHING. OH. TAKE THIS, FOOL. SHE A little dingy. Kachow. Oh, yeah, three trigger nades. Score. Peanut, res. Oh, oh, I didn't know you were dead, sorry. Thank you so much. We're not on Brazilian, we're on super duper tuck. Mhm, mhm. We're in European land. Well, hold up. But, you don't know for certain where we are. Only I know that. Mhm, mhm. European land. You hear a guy going "Oi. Oi, I love spray 90% OF MY TAXES TO your government that's going to arrest me after about Twitter post." Then "Why DID I MAKE THE POST THAT ON FACEBOOK? I SWEAR." "SORRY, I SORRY, I LOVE THE KING. DON'T LOCK ME UP FOR 50 YEARS." "I didn't MEAN TO LIKE IT. I DIDN'T MEAN TO LIKE IT." ME AND THE BRICKS AND BREXIT BOYS, there's 50 of us and we all SHARE A ONE GLOCK. "I SAW A KNIFE ONCE, BUT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT." >> [laughter] >> UH, WHAT'S THIS? WHAT ARE THEY DOING OVER THERE? I'm shooting the wall. Yeah, I've got an Osprey boys, Osprey 4. Wait, it's got max attachments. I want you to watch that one. Good watch. Hey, one wants. THEY'D TAKE DOWN [screaming] THAT WALL. OH, DAMN, WE DID THAT ONE FAST. OH, I SEE ONE GUY WITH HEAD SHOT, HEAD SHOT, HE'S BROKEN. OKAY. That is a nice shot. I mean, I think I can get an opening if you keep cracking him in the head. He's right behind that little penis-looking structure. Shot him in the leg. Take that. Who's that? I'll probably not then. I'LL PROBABLY NOT THEN. OH, my god, there's someone right on me. No [ __ ] way. And this isn't going to Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. Don't Don't you worry. You guys handle those hooligans. I'LL HANDLE EACH ONE. [ __ ] I'M GOING TO HELP HIM. I'M GOING TO. THAT'S A GRENADE. OH. I believe Peanut is dead in three, TWO, ONE. [ __ ] >> [screaming] >> WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT. THIS GUY'S WATCH OUT. HE'S FINISHING ME. KNOCK HIM OUT. SHOOT HIM ONE TIME. YES! OOH, not feeling too good now, are you, boss? Not feeling too good now, are you, chief, huh? How the turntables, huh? Oh, the pleasure is all mine, guv'nor. The pleasure IS ALL MINE. >> [laughter] >> I JUST KILLED THAT ONE. THEY'RE COMING OVER. THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. I just killed that one. I I I I don't have the heart to do it. Hey guys, I want to No, STOP. NO. He got you, chief. Wait, they called the airstrike on us, bro. No. No. No. No. No. No. Really? OH, I'M I'M COMING. I'M COMING. I'M COMING. GO. GO. GO. [screaming] IT'S THE survivor of the team we just killed. Got you. Got you. Okay. Track him. Fire. Okay. We're good. We're good. Yeah, he's turning around TO SHOOT US. HE'S RIGHT THERE. HER. THAT WAS A MISTAKE, my boy. A big mistake, my boy. A BIG MISTAKE. [laughter] WHERE ARE THE WINNINGS? OH, THERE'S ONE MORE. THERE'S ONE MORE. THERE'S ONE MORE. COMING. THE DARKNESS IS YOUR ALLY. [ __ ] you. Where's the last one? And there was no last one. I was trying to get his goop. He didn't fall for it. Uh, do we eat and [clears throat] out or do we go at the other team at the tower? >> I feel like we just leave. No. No. Mhm. Wait, which one? No. We know what. Boys. What? >> many people sitting on top of roofs like absolute [ __ ] to We even goofed the guys that we killed. >> We must kill them all. I'm in. We got a team on top of the tallest tower and on the tower we were trying to push. They're everywhere. He got the solo. Yeah. I like to have them tag along. Make them feel like they're doing something. Raise the team morale. You know what I'm talking about? Raise the team morale. All right. If I had a chance to shoot someone else, that'll be pretty cool. I mean, this is going to be so loud. He won. Watch, I'm going to go I'm going to go like right under him, like right here. Okay. No, I'm going all the way up. All the way up. Okay. This is barricaded? This is barricaded. Can you watch me? Not really. [ __ ] You're going to pick me when I'm breaching this. Jesus Christ. Watch. You need to watch. You need to watch. You need to He got YOU, BUTCH. GOT YOU, BUTCH. [ __ ] I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. You watch out. YOU WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT. YOU WATCH OUT. YOU WATCH ONE'S DEAD. ONE'S DEAD. HE'S STUPID. GO GO GO. I'M COMING BOYS. I'M COMING. FINISH THAT ONE GUY I knocked outside. Right on you peanut. Okay, beautiful. I have no shield now. Good work finishing that man off Nick works. Good ding dong. It's done. Good blam. Blat. Oh my god, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE. TOMMY SAY HE'S DEAD. GET OUT OF HERE. ANOTHER ONE DOWN ANOTHER ONE DOWN. ALL THESE GUYS ARE DEAD. Look at these guys man. They were without their tower they are nothing. They are without their TOWER THEY ARE POWERLESS. I GOT ANOTHER ONE RIGHT HERE. ALL RIGHT, ONE team down one more to go. This one's going to be tricky boys. How do we get up there? They moved up first. I can tell this is going to be a battle of the ages. You guys are not real bro. Go kill them. They want to pay for what they've done to the state. They want to pay. OKAY, GOOD TO GO. I'M FULLY ERECT now good. That'll help us in the late game. Hit once. This is your home and really good head ease. Do not taste. I'm going to get inside, okay? This is all I need. >> Head shot one. Keep it up B. You keep you keep doing that we're going to kill them. That's right. That's right. You right. They said no. THAT'S RIGHT. GET OUT OF HERE. YOU SEE THAT, BOYS? You see that? Yeah, they zip lined all the way over here. You did not did not pick it up, boy. Good news. If they don't have a snap hook, they're dead. WHAT THE OH MY GOD, THIS IS OH MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? SIR, I'm but a humble traveler. I'm just trying to feed my family. I'm 180 away. That's not my team. I would stay here with you, good sir. I would stay here with you. I would not be leaving. But listen to me, good sir. We were trying to Oh, hold on now, sir. Hold on now, sir. We were going to leave, but these guys were camping the sniper tower. And for the betterment of the community, we are all we are trying to do is kill those camping snipers, but they are wrong. They are wrong in their ways. NOW, YOU CAN KILL ME OR YOU CAN JOIN ME IN MY FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND SALVATION. OH, NO. I'M ON MY WAY. There's another one right here. There's another one. I can knock him off top. I can knock him off top. I'm sorry. We will help you kill your adversaries. I WILL HELP YOU KILL YOUR ADVERSARIES. I WILL LAY MY LIFE DOWN ON THE ON THE LINE FOR YOU. HE'S CHEATING. SECOND OF ALL, THIS guy I got knocked from the team up top. >> Hello. And they missed everything on him. Oh. This [ __ ] dude. Hello. Told you they sound like that. Told you they sound like that. How you doing? What did I say? What did I say? What did I say, guys? What did I say? What did I tell you, Nick Banks? Thank you, boys. Thank you, boys. Mighty kind of you. Nick. Oh nothing just hanging around. Thanks for inviting ME. THOUSAND THANKS. GENTLEMEN THERE'S A TEAM ON TOP OF SNIPER TOWER WE HAVE TO DECIMATE THEM. I THINK IT'S A whole I think he teamed up with I got this mini data for But you can't have it. Where are you going? Where are you going? WELL I WAS GOING TO GO KILL THE SNIPER TOWER TEAM. Ready three. Left guy three two Oh oh what the hell WHAT'S GOING ON? I DON'T KNOW THOSE PEOPLE at all. What the hell? Who are those people? There's another one right here. What the Finishing FINISHING NICK FINISHING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU BROTHER. OH. DIE. THIS TEAM IS ONLY SHOOTING ME BRO. This [ __ ] up top team is not shooting me. THEY'RE ONLY SHOOTING ME. NO. [screaming] YOU [ __ ] >> THEY'RE ONE SHOT THEY'RE ONE SHOT ON ME. HOW COULD YOU MR. PEANUT? THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT there's only one left he's one shot. The car Here here HERE HERE HERE. YES. YES. YOU'RE SO [ __ ] DUMB. YOU'RE CALLING ME COMING COMING COMING. THEY'RE THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO THIRST ME OUT. >> GO GO GO. Are they really? They're only shooting me bro. We're back. Uh Yeah well then you shot my teammate so you kind of cancels out. And you said that was you said that was the chaps over there. Uh Finish the guy behind you Nick. He's still crawling. OH MATE CAN I BORROW YOUR VIRTUAL OH YEAH. OH THAT WAS A FLICKY PICKY MISTAKE that I apologize mate. Told you. Nick Nick can we take a second? Can we take a second? Did I not hit the nail on the head? >> I am so stressed >> [laughter] >> Did I not hit the nail on THE HEAD? WHAT I TELL YOU THEY JUMP LIKE? >> [laughter] >> [ __ ] do it. [laughter] What do we do with them? I feel too bad to kill them. Uh They killed Hutch. Um >> We can be friends. Look, HOW ABOUT OH MY GOD. OH, NO. >> What happened now? It was a guy. >> a guy on top of him. He's being eaten up right now. They are They're literally just going for me. Shoot right now, Nick. Perfect. Perfect. What a sweet delight. What a sweet little treat. That's them. >> What a sweet little treat. Perfect. I think >> See, I wonder I wonder what those guys robbed too. That is what I call organic, my gentlemen. That's that organic gameplay that you like to see. That's that pure organic gameplay. Mhm. Mhm. That's what you like to see. That's what you like to see. Uh Well, we tried our best, boys. That's what matters most. Excellent raid, gentlemen. Excellent raid. Uh We did leak the map. We did. Uh I didn't. I didn't leak the map. No. No. We did collectively. We did. We did. I did nothing. You can't prove it. We did what was right, boys. We did what was right. We killed one tower team and almost killed the second one. That's what matters most. We did the right thing right there, boys. And sometimes the right thing don't feel too good. Mhm. Mhm. But it's not about the goop. It is about the glory. Amen. Amen. >> Mhm. Mhm. It's about the glory. It's about the glory. And the glory on this fine day is ours. The glory on this fine day is ours, not those screen-peeking cheaters. They will rot in hell and burn. Burn for all eternity.

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