[0:02]Jia re Bahubali, jia re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali Ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali Jia re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali, ja re Bahubali Sab milenge, to banayenge, aab tera kya jagega? Yeh akshay ji
[0:37]Khabardar hoshiyaar mot ke samrat Hamare Maharaj padhare hain, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[1:23]Sipahiyon, aaj tumne yeh ajeeb si poshake kyu pehan rakhi hai? Maharaj, hum aaj prithvi lok gaye the aur wahan pe ek film ki shooting chal rahi thi, aur us film ke nayak hi bhaag gaye to unhone hum dono ko nayak bana diya aur yeh vichitra si poshake bhi pehna di. Aur kya naam tha us film ka? Chole, nahi Maharaj Sholay. Aur haan, usme ek gana bhi tha, yeh dosti, hum nahi todenge, todenge, toh is dosti ko todenge, tera sath na chodenge. Ha ha woh sab theek hai. Parantu aaj Chitragupt kahi nazar nahi aa rahe hain. Chitragupt? Arey wah Maharaj Chitragupt. Lagta hai usne Jio ka sim le rakha hai. Yeh bhi aajkal din bhar phone pe laga rehta hai. Chitragupt, aaj ki sabha ko aarambh karo aur bhoo lok se jo manav ko leke aaye ho unka lekhajokha hume pesh karo. Maharaj woh sab toh theek hai lekin Bhoo lok se Guddi ka phone aa raha hai.
[2:35]Chitragupt, Maharaj aaj ki sabha ko aage badhao. Maharaj, hamara pehla manav hai jaggu sharabi. Jaggu sharabi haazir ho.
[2:59]Chitragupt, kya kiya hai is manav ne bhoo lok pe? Maharaj, yeh ek number ka bewada aadmi hai. Isne Bhoo lok par bas daaru peene ke alawa aur kuch nahi kiya. Isne apna gharbaar sab bech diya. Yahan tak ki yeh daaru peeke ek pehlwan se takraya. Jab yeh hamare kutte jaise sipahi utha kar yaha le aaye. Maharaj, yeh Chitragupt, Chitragupt, chup raho, tumhare paas se madira ki badboo kyu aa rahi hai? Kya tum yahan bhi madira pee ke aaye ho? Madira? yeh toh song rab hai.
[3:41]Achha hai, pesh karo.
[3:46]Maharaj, jo aap bolte hain, woh main raap pilaunga. Aisa? Sipahiyon, ise le jao aur swarg me chhod ke aana ba izzat aur do teen bottles somras ki lete hue hi aana.
[4:06]Kuch bhi kaho Chitragupt. Yeh somras aisa hai, jaisa maine kabhi swarg me bhi nahi kiya. Control Maharaj, control. Haan haan, aap aage badhaiye. Hamara agla manav hai vakil. Vakil hazir ho.
[4:24]Ji my lord. Toh bataiye Chitragupt, Vakil Sahab ka kya lekhajokha hai? Maharaj, Vakil sahab ne humesha insaaf ke liye ladai ladi hai. Yeh insaaf jahan bhi hota hai, wahan yeh kood padte hain. Yahan tak ki inohne apne bete ke paise mangne par uske bhi rishwat ka mukadma thok diya. Kya? Maharaj, yahan yeh madira ki badboo kahan se aa rahi hai? Are! Yeh to wahi Jaggu Sharabi ki sharab ki bottle hai. Lagta hai aapne madira paan kiya hai.
[4:58]Ha sahi. Kya aap jante hain? Ki aap ke is kriti ke karan, mai aap par dhara 520 B wa 410 A ke तहत aapko nyayalaya se saja dilwa sakta hu. Is janam me na sahi, agle janam me aapko saja zaroor dilwaunga. Chitragupt, ise agla janam bhi na milna chahiye. Pata nahi humari complaint karte hain. Bilkul note karta hoon. Bilkul note karo aur agle manav ko bhi bulao. Hamara agla manav hai chor. Chor hazir ho.
[5:59]Ise boliye seedhe seedhe aaye.
[6:05]Maharaj, aapke darshan hue, mera toh jeevan jaise dhanya ho gaya. Batao Chitragupt, yeh pyare se chor ne kya kiya hai? Maharaj, jaisa ki isse dekh kar lag raha hai isne Bhoo lok par sirf sab ko chuna lagane ka kaam kiya hai. Yeh toh chhodo, abhi isne aapke haath ka kada bhi utaar liya. Kya! Kahan hai mera dusra kada? Yeh Chitragupt kya jaane. Isse toh hath ki safai ki kala kehte hain Maharaj. Oh, aap toh ek kaam kariye. Aap mujhe swarg bhej dijiye. Main wahan se aapko apsaraon ka live nritya prasarit karunga. Iska ho sakta hai? Haan haan Maharaj, kyu nahi? Prithvi lok me to aise hi chal raha hai aajkal. Kya baat hai? Kaise kar lete hai yeh manav? Maharaj Netflix, Vigo Live, na jane kitni applications banate rehte hai. Yeh hume doge? Haan haan kyu nahi Maharaj. Theek hai sipahiyon, ise swarg me chhod ke aao. Par, aata rehna chahiye prasaran. Maharaj ko toh mil hi chuka hai. Le jao ise. Maharaj ki Jai ho.
[7:07]Ise le jana. Bada hi aadmi hai. Toh Chitragupt, Chitragupt, Chitragupt. Kya hai Maharaj? Aap pata nahi kis kis ko number de aate ho. Shilla Munni aur aapki patni ka phone aa raha hai. Char bar phone kaat diya maine. Arre, itna mat karo Chitragupt. Ghar ja ke bartan bhi dhona padenge tumko. Tum sabha ko jaldi khatam karo. Hume humari wife ko shopping pe le jana hai. Aaj bumper offer chal raha hai saadiyo pe. Ji Maharaj. Hamara aaj ka agla aur aakhri manav hai engineer. Engineer hazir ho.
[7:48]Aaiye aaiye Doctor sahab aaiye, bilkul taiyar ho ke kon se mareez ko dekh ke aa rahe hain. Kya kiya hai inhone? Maharaj, doctor ne humare saare angutho ko late kiya hai. Kaise? Abhi hamare mard bhoo lok par jate hain, kisi ko leh le, to yeh unhe goli dawa khila ke 10-15 minute aida ulta ek ghanta late karte hain. Toh hamare mard khub late hain. Tabhi humara T.A. D.A. zyada aa raha hai. Yeh kya Maharaj, aapko toh paseena bhi aa raha hai. Yeh kya aapke haath bhi kaap rahe hain. Abhi toh maine injection bhi chhoona nahi hai. Arre, ise dur le jao. Arre, yeh anyay hai, yeh anyay hai. ise le jao. Abhi toh maine injection chhoona nahi hai. dur le jao.
[8:38]Aah aah, Abhi kanto yaar dard se mar raha hu. Agli baar check karke lana kuch leke nahi aaye. Tum sabha ko jaldi khatam karo yaar. Maine bola jana hai. Ji Maharaj. Hamara aaj ka agla aur aakhri manav hai engineer. Ji Maharaj, hamara aaj ka agla aur aakhri manav hai engineer. Engineer hazir ho. Engineer hazir ho.
[9:12]Maharaj, engineer yufti ne apna pura jeevan ka pura jeevan ka sirf ghar aur office mein bitaya hai. Inke jeevan mein koi umang nahi. Koi utsah nahi. Din bhar program karte rehte hain. Kabhi kabhi toh apni doston ko bhi suti uti message kar dete hain aur jab dost phone karte hain to yeh unhe mana kar dete hain ki main baad mein milunga. Maharaj, kon se zamane mein jee rahe hain aap? Aaj ke zamane mein Chitragupt? Bilkul nahi. Dekhiye, maine yeh application banayi hai. Isme aap saare pranion ka data save kar sakte hain. Uske according unko unke karmo ki saza de sakte hain. Phir aapke bache hue time mein aap Sheila Munni ke sath time spend kijiye aur
[10:18]Arre o duniya ke jhanjhat mein ki chinta karne wale, zara apni wife ki to chinta kar le. Kya, Sheila Munni kis kis ke phone receive kar raha hai tu? Arey mera toh phone hi nahi hai. Kis ke chut bol raha hai tu? Woh ghar pe jo bartan rakhe hain woh kon dhoyega? Main main hu na? Main main hu na? Aur haath mein jis se tu broom bhi nahi nikali hai. Chalo ab nikalta hoon. Aur kijiye Chitragupt Chitragupt ki job kha gaya. Yeh jaake dekhiye aage Yamraj ke sath kya hua yeh janne ke liye dekhiye next foundation day.
