Trick to stay calm when angry

[0:00]you finally lost some way. I was wondering when you would. Yeah, uh that's that's good on you. Would you still say thank you again? No. Yeah, what would you say? That's rude. Whenever somebody is insulting you, we have this ability to get really mad and stew on it and get angry. But best way to do it is let's say if you told me, you know, I I really think you're an idiot, Jefferson. Give it a little bit of silence. And I would repeat, I'm an idiot, Jefferson. I was going to put a spotlight right back on you for you to confirm it, double down on it or you're going to apologize. A lot of time in arguments, people take it back. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have I shouldn't have said that. I got to in front of it. But if they double down on it, all you need to do is just thank them. Thank you. In other words, thank you for showing me who you are. Thank you for making sure that I'm not going to be with you anymore, and this is who you are in my life. Very different from let's say, with somebody who is belittling you, uh patronizing you, being condescending to you. Where, uh it gets fun. This is one of my favorite ones. Oh, Stephen, I see that uh you lost some weight. That's that's great man. Good good for you. How would you typically want to respond to that? Thank you. Yeah. Now, if I had said something that was a little bit more ugly, if it was like, oh, you finally lost some way. I was wondering where you would. Yeah. Uh that's that's good on you. Would you still say thank you again? No. Yeah, what would you say? That's rude. Yeah, exactly. like, oh, okay. That's that's a little offensive. So, here's what I would want you to do. Add silence. We're going to have five to seven seconds of silence. And what that does is allow them their words to fall. So, it's going to one tell you that their words aren't threatening. You're adding that space in there for two reasons. One, to calm you down because you're going to be using that breath we talked about. Second of all, it allows them to hear their words back because it's like they walk their words out onto a plank and now they're all alone.