[0:03]Every word that I utter makes you blast out exceedingly thoughtful. You know what that looks like? I tell you, people, looks like you're out of bread. You need to buy some bread. You look at me dumbfounded, jaws dropped, eyes bulking in terror and then the roar comes, "Bread!" We got no bread! Freeman, help! Give us some bread! Etc. Hey, grocery stores around the corner. I feel pixels running up and down my spine from the questions dangling over me. What, everybody has questions for me? But all of these are questions you really should be asking yourselves. Or do you think a cartoon character is going to storm out onto the streets and change your life? You are insane. My life is entertained by yours, no more than yours is entertained by mine. But I also have a question. What are you waiting for? You boil up with bile in your comments, you write me emotional emails. You're eating, shitting, and laughing. And waiting. You're waiting for me to tell you what you need to do. You're just a bunch of lazy cowards. I can't actually climb out of the internet. You'd have to be some kind of dumb goat to not understand that. Yes, before I came along, there was something torturing you from the inside, some worm burrowing through your withering brain cells. But then Freeman takes the stage. Well, hi there. Time to disco! Everybody, follow the cartoon guy! Woohoo! Everyone is happy! Everyone's jerking off and laughing! Bread and circuses for everybody! With tities! Woohoo!
[1:59]Freeze.
[2:02]I don't think for you guys. I show you the way to think for yourselves. What, it's not cake?
[2:13]Wake up. Freeman doesn't owe you anything. You owe yourself, my friends.
[2:24]There are some people who put an end to war. Some changed the way people live for the better. Others free people from laws that don't make sense anymore. And you? Oh, right. You wait for an animated character to give you instructions. Wake up, people. You are lucky to have me in the first place. Things like this, they only happen one time in a thousand years. And the length of time left is...
