[0:00]Hey God, it's me, Davy. Your favorite girl from the San Fernando Valley. Woo! What's poppin'?
[0:09]So, today is the first day of school and I thought that I should do a check-in. I think we all can agree that last year sucked for a number of reasons. But I thought of a few ways that you guys can make it up to me. Number one, I'd really like to be invited to a party with alcohol and hard drugs. I'm not going to do them. I would just like the opportunity to say, no cocaine for me please. I'm good. Thanks. Second, I would really like my arm hair to thin out. My forearms look like the floor of a barber shop. And lastly, most important, I would really really like a boyfriend. And not one of those nerds from my AP classes, like a guy on a sports team. He could be dumb. I don't care. I just want a stone cold hottie who can rock my body all night long. Thanks for the consideration. I love you. Coming!
[1:13]It never touched the floor.
