Discrimination? In your relationships? #YourKoreanDad

[0:00]Hey, I'm your Korean dad! So there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for a while, especially because I don't think anyone's ever told you this before and because it's not the easiest thing to understand. But I know you will. I know that you are such a loving person with so much love to give, so much love for all kinds of people, just a great big open heart. But I also know that relationships have been hard sometimes, and that's been tough, hasn't it? And kind of confusing, actually. If I'm loving this person so much, then why does it so often hurt so much? This can be friendships, this can be romantic relationships, this can even be with people in your family. First, I wanna say that I see you. I see you being so loving, and for that, I'm so proud of you. You really are doing that stuff so right, but here's the tough thing about being so loving, because it's a bit of a paradox. A paradox is something that doesn't seem like it'd be true, but it is. Are you ready? In order to love people in the absolute best way, you actually have to be discriminating. Now, "discriminate" isn't exactly a word that we associate with love, but there are times where it's the right idea. Giving so much love in so many ways to people who just aren't capable of giving and showing you the right kind of love back, that actually limits your capacity to love. When the love is right, your love and their love becomes something so big, bigger than both of you put together. And you know why? Because when it's right, you're not just able to love each other, you're both also loving yourselves. Now, I know it's not easy and it's not that simple, but I believe you can do it. And just to be clear, I'm not saying that you have to stop loving someone just because they can't love you back in the right ways. For those times, you can keep loving them, just from afar. And that just might give you the space to love yourself, just as much as I know you deserve.