[0:00]all of these habits that I'm about to list are gonna be some of the biggest reasons why people don't respect you. the background is different today because I'm in France and I'm getting ready to go see Versailles. so I'm gonna be telling you guys about this while I do my makeup and let's just get right into it. so being uninformed about these things isn't humble, okay? If you're not informed about these things and the way people think and the way that you unknowingly sabotage yourself, it really is just self-sabotage, you're gonna fall so far behind everyone else already knows about these things. So many people complain about how they're not treated well, people don't respect them, and well the truth is, that's because you're teaching them how to treat you. If you want respect from other people, you have to demand it, and that starts with how you treat yourself and that starts with how you are being perceived by other people. If you don't sharpen your mind, people are subconsciously ranking you lower as someone not as important, someone that they don't think they really should respect, someone they don't really see as valuable. So how do you make yourself appear more valuable to get more respect and all around better treatment? That is exactly what I'm gonna tell you right now. Number one, being dumb isn't cute. Not knowing things isn't cute. Not educating yourself on things isn't not cute. Thinking that you already know everything and being super ignorant and thinking that you're the smartest person in the room but not actually taking the time it takes to study topics to get informed, to get educated on things, super, super unrespectable, okay? No wonder why people don't respect you. People love to be loud and wrong, okay? People want to seem like they're smart without putting in any of the effort and hard work that it actually takes to get there. People don't just wake up smart, okay? They put a lot of time and effort into educating themselves, into learning things, and your brain is a muscle, it can be worked out. You can always become smarter, you can always learn more, you don't have to tell yourself, 'Oh, I'm just not that smart of a person' and decide to live like that, absolutely not. You can train your brain to become anything that you want. If you want to be smarter, read more books, get more knowledge on topics that you wanna know more on. The truth is people automatically respect the people they think are smart. Knowledge really is power, okay? Thinking you already know everything and you're the smartest person in the room is so ignorant, really just your ego being disguised by what you think is confidence, like you think you're being confident by telling yourself, 'I'm the smartest person in this room,' 'I know more than that person and that person.' That person also goes hand in hand with interrupting people, responding really, really badly to criticism, you can't stand being corrected if you do something wrong, if you get really, really, really defensive if other people challenge you. These are really, really bad qualities to have that also make it really hard for other people to respect you or for other people to think that you are a smart person worth respecting. The smartest people I know are always asking the most questions. People like to act like being curious is like a weakness or a sign of stupidity, it's really, really not. When you ask questions and you put other people on the spot and you want and you show that you wanna learn more or you genuinely just do want to learn more about something or you want the answer to something, people can see that you're serious and automatically they want to respect you, you're gonna get a lot more respect, and you're educating yourself at the same time. But if you don't handle criticism well, and you don't have strong control over yourself and your emotions, people are automatically gonna see you as this big, because you treat yourself like you're this big, automatically, automatically people aren't gonna wanna respect you even subconsciously.
[4:34]I have a bunch of other videos on how to handle disrespect, this isn't about that, but this video isn't about that. This video is about earning respect and this is where to start. You don't want to laugh when other people make fun of you, no laughing it off, 'No, it's fine, it's fine, I know you didn't mean it.' Yes, they did, they know what they're doing. We are all adults here, they know how their words were gonna land, that was the whole point. The first step to demanding respect from other people is not handling the disrespect. Why should they respect you if there's no consequence for disrespecting you? People should feel like they need to respect you because if they don't something bad's gonna happen. Getting into the next habit that makes people subconsciously lose respect for you is being too available. This is, this is a big one. I get a lot of comments all the time being like, 'Okay, well, I'm just being there for my friend, I'm just a good person, blah, blah, blah.' Yeah, that's what's gonna get you used. Okay, that's what's gonna get you in really, really bad situations. That's what's gonna get you taken advantage of. That is literally how you start to be disrespected, is by being way too available and way too kind and way too nice to people. Okay, going out of your way every once in a while to do a kind gesture is one thing, but if you are the group's designated driver and errand runner and planner for everything you guys do, that just became your role, so now you're stuck with it. You don't wanna be too available all the time. You need to answer everyone immediately. You don't need to be free all the time. You don't need to adjust your plans for everyone else all the time. No, no, no, no, no, in fact you should be doing the opposite. If you have plans and someone has something that comes up and they try to ask you to change it, you say, 'No, I have plans.' 'No, I have plans, I can't do that.' 'No, I'm so sorry, I can't do that.' No, I have plans, can't do that. People will automatically respect you more next time before asking you for something like that. And you think you're sounding mean, but no, it's absolutely ludicrous to ask someone else to change their plans for them and to drop everything for them and if you say no, you're the bad person, that is crazy, that is crazy. It is not normal to assume other people will just drop anything and everything to do something for you. That's not how the world works. It's totally normal to say no to things, to not show up for things if you don't have time, to not move around your schedule for people, to not bend over backwards for people, especially if they haven't earned it and deserve it. When your access is limited, people start to value it a whole lot more when they get your attention, when you're around, when they do have access to you, and you're automatically gonna start getting treated better. This next reason why people are not respecting you is a very controversial one, but it needs to be said, pretending like looks don't matter. If you neglect the way that you look, this is the number one signal to other people how they should treat you. How do you look? Do you put in effort into your appearance? Do you take care of yourself? Are you well-groomed? Do you look expensive? Do you look like, do you look like you're valuable? Do you look like an important person? What do you look like? People decide how they're gonna treat you before you even open your mouth. So if you really tell yourself this lie of, 'looks don't matter,' you're setting yourself up for failure, especially as a woman in this world. You can get so far just with your looks, if you know how to take advantage, you don't even have to do all this crazy stuff. You just need to know how to wear clothes, do your hair, put on some makeup, and watch how people start treating you better. Looks absolutely do matter, especially when it comes to being respected by other people. If you are a good-looking person that looks well-kept, immediately people are gonna be a little bit intimidated and want to respect you because you clearly respect yourself. That is a big, big, big, big one. If you don't even take yourself seriously, like your looks, newsflash, no one else is gonna take you seriously either. The way that you look on the outside, 100% needs to be a huge priority for you if you want to be respected. And last but not least, another huge thing that gets you a lot of disrespect is gossiping to other people and acting like it's concerned, okay? The first thing other people think when you start talking bad about someone is, 'Oh, she's doing it to them, she's gonna do it to me,' especially if it's someone that you're close with where you're repeating these private conversations, immediately people are gonna lose trust for you if they're smart. No one's gonna respect you, no one's gonna trust you with anything. It's a huge discreditor, it discredits you almost immediately. And this one really just sets you up for failure. You don't wanna be that person. If someone tells you something in a private conversation and they trusted you with it, don't disrespect yourself and them and make yourself look like a horrible person, untrustworthy, unrespectable, despicable person by going and telling everyone what they told you in private. Don't do that, don't do that, it's so embarrassing. Every time I see someone doing this, I get the biggest ick. No wonder why people don't respect you. I have to go. Let me know if you guys want me to do another video on this because I have even more things that people do that they don't know are suddenly, are suddenly self-sabotaging themselves and making other people automatically right off the jump not like you, not respect you. You're losing so many opportunities, the doors that could have been opened for you are shut before you even get to try to walk through it. I hope you guys learn something and best of luck. I'll see you guys on my next one. Bye.
