Nick Freitas - How To Make Marriage Work

[0:00]The way I explain this to a young lady on a on a plane once who had just gotten married. I was like, marriage is wonderful. You're going to love it. She goes, how do you make it work? I said, we have a biblical worldview of marriage. "What does that mean?" I said, Well, it starts off with I'm the head of my household. Why does there have to be a head? I'm like, excellent question. Because we live in this hyper egalitarian society which says, oh no, there's co-equal partnership. No, there's equal value to both people. There's equal values to the roles and responsibilities that we play. I said, But when you said I do, did you mean it? Did you did you mean till death do us part? Yeah. Okay. What happens when you disagree? Do you have a shareholders vote? Like, what did you engage in a in a corporate agreement with your husband or what do you do? I said, I bear the burden of the responsibility to have to make decisions that is best for her first, not me. The burden of that leadership is I I must do what is best for the family in accordance with God's instruction. Not Nick's preferences up to and including my life for hers. Her obligation is to support that decision when we can't come to an agreement and then help me make it work. I'd been married 15 years. I said, I can count on one hand the number of times where we have had a disagreement where we could not come to the same conclusion about what we had to do next. And I had to make the decision. And it's not like that's comfortable, right? Because disagreement between husband and wife is not comfortable, but a decision had to be made. So I made the one that I thought was best. And what she did in that moment, even though she was she had doubts, she said, I trust you to lead. And then she helped make the decision I made succeed. She didn't stand back at a safe distance and go, well, we'll see. I told you so. No, she helped make the decision succeed because both of us had a commitment to something that we thought was true that was outside of ourselves. It wasn't about our personal preferences. It wasn't about what we might've liked. It wasn't even about what we might've, you know, thought was the most important in that particular time. We agreed on what the truth was.