[0:10]Pissed off man. Just got me a new place, man. Hate my neighbors, man. I got neighbors that borrow shit all the time.
[0:20]You ever had a neighbor that borrow your shit and keep it so long, you had to borrow it back.
[0:30]I told you got a room I can borrow, man. No, you got my goddamn room.
[0:37]That ain't all, man. I got rats and roaches like crips and bloods in my house, man. Be crawl by shootings all the time.
[0:44]I come home from work out the break of fight. Oh, y'all let it go, let it go. It ain't right, man. Stop that shit, man.
[0:52]Man, they be answering my door, talking on my phone, won't click over. People don't told me to call, I ain't heard shit from. That motherfucker don't live here.
[1:05]My roaches smart, too, man. They play dead. The other day, I stepped on one of them.
[1:12]Went in the bathroom to get some tissue. Came back, that nigga was gone. I seen him two weeks later with some stitches.
[1:21]Nigga told me he was too legit to quit.
[1:30]It's fucked up when you go into Toys R Us to get your prize, them motherfuckers don't already been in there and got it.
[1:38]Trip, man. Whatever happened to pimp, man? What if Michael Jackson was a pimp?
[1:43]Should be him and Tito be riding around in the Cadillac and shit. Slow down, Tito. Slow down, Tito, damn.
[1:55]Is that my ho that's sitting on the curb? Let me out. Come here, girl. I said, come here, girl.
[2:09]Oh my money. How much you got? I'm like, I'm sorry. All I got is a hundred dollar bill. Girl, you've been out here all day and all you got is a hundred dollar bill?
[2:17]Ah! Keep it in the car. Get out there, bitch. Take a hundred and fifty and get on the curb.
[2:32]It's fucked up, man. Ain't nobody hiring us. I'm serious. I know what it is, man.
[2:39]White people don't trust black people. That's why they won't vote for no black president.
[2:44]Like a black brother will fuck up the White House. Like the grass won't be cut. Dishes piled up, cousins running through the White House.
[2:54]Cookouts, basketball goal in the back. Broke down cars, all about the shit in the driveway. Brother won't clean out the tub when he get out of.
[3:01]President gets pissed off, somebody don't drunk up all the Kool-Aid. Ain't no black president, man. He too proud. He ain't gonna have no bodyguard.
[3:10]Black president, you have a gun. Somebody tried to fuck him up. He fucked him. Hey, nigga. Like, damn, the president just fucked somebody up.
[3:19]Did you see that shit, man? My mom threw me out the house, man. And you ever notice when you're in high school, you're your mama's baby?
[3:26]But when you graduate, you that nigga walking around the house. My daddy wanted me to leave all alone, man. Leave me little hits and shit like leaving army brochures and shit on my pillow.
[3:38]My mama do little shit like she'll buy peanut butter when I buy the jelly. Buy Kool-Aid, when I buy sugar.
[3:44]Mama, what the fuck wrong with you? Now you can't make Kool-Aid without sugar.
[3:51]Fuck them, man. You can't fuck no more in your mama's house neither. It's a trip, man. Cause one time, man, I was handling business, right? But I had to listen out for my mom.
[3:59]So I told the girl, I said, you gonna have to shut the fuck up. Cause I gotta listen out for my mom.
[4:07]I thought I heard something. Mama don't come home to six. That ain't her. Keep on doing what you're doing.
[4:21]One time my mama caught me, man. It was fucked up. I was handling business, right? I mean, I was on the floor and the bed was shaking.
[4:33]My mama say, Chris! What you doing? I said, nothing, mama. She said, come here, boy.
[4:42]I said, mama, I'm coming. She said, come here, boy. I said, mama, I'm coming. She said, well, hurry up. I said, I'm trying to, if you shut the fuck up.
[4:52]They got our Chris Tucker!
