[0:00]Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us — a third — either judge ourselves for having so-called "bad emotions," like sadness, anger, or even grief, or actively try to push aside these feelings. We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children - we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative, jump to a solution, and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable. Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad. But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They say things like, "I don't want to try because I don't want to feel disappointed." Or, "I just want this feeling to go away." "I understand," I say to them, "But you have dead people's goals."
[1:26]Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings. Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don't get to have a meaningful career, or raise a family, or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
