Are you ready for court tomorrow?

[0:00]My lawyer just called and I was ready for court tomorrow. So hell yeah. I ain't going. See, I've been spending the last six months booby trapping my entire 500 acres. I got snake pits, rolling logs, bear traps. I got some straight up Indiana Jones shit. I got a fucking boulder that'll fall down when you open my front door. I got about 120 coyotes that I trained to bite anything with a crew cut and a fucking badge. I flew an old Vietnamese man out here and he helped me dig about 12 miles worth of underground tunnels. I have 450 cameras. I've rigged the solar panels all around this motherfucker. I got a Bengal tighter locked in my bathroom, who can fucking kill for a pork chop right now. You know, it's surprisingly easy to teach a raccoon how to loosen lug nuts and cut brake lines. I'd rather live the rest of my life in the woods living off fucking wild jeans and creek water than go to fucking jail one more time. I don't even try to bring no helicopters down here neither like I ain't got a whole fucking coop full of pigeons with C4 tied around their feet. I got a bunch of PVC pipe filled with gunpowder and ball bearings and a baboon who is deadly accurate with a nail gun.