[0:01]Crossfire. On the left, James Carville and Paul Begala. On the right, Robert Novak and Tucker Carlson. In the crossfire. To their credit, once they found out Cat Stevens, Yussuf Islam, was on the plane, they immediately called out the Air Force and had the plane followed by a mooon shot.
[0:22]Are world events really a laughing matter? They are if you're Jon Stewart, the Daily Show host comes out from behind the desk of Comedy's favorite news show for our full half hour. Today on Crossfire. Live from the George Washington University, Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson. Welcome to Crossfire, less than three weeks before the election. We're going to take a break from campaign politics, sort of. Joining us will be Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show and Comedy Central, and co-author of a new best-seller entitled America the Book. We will spend the next half hour with the most trusted man in fake news and he's got pictures of all nine Supreme Court justices naked. Worth staying tuned for. First though, we will begin as we always do with the best little political briefing in television, the Crossfire political alert.
[1:16]When he wants to look moderate, Dick Cheney invokes his lesbian daughter Mary on the campaign trail. When Republican Senate candidate Alan Keyes viciously attacked their daughter, Dick and Lynn Cheney said nothing. When John Edwards praised their evident love for their daughter, Vice President Cheney said this. Let me simply thank the senator for the kind words he said about my family and our daughter. I appreciate that very much. But now, suddenly, after four debate losses and 18 days until the election, the Cheneys are shocked, shocked that John Kerry mentioned their daughter in a debate. There's an important lesson here. If you're gay and you want your rights protected by the Republicans, it helps to have a daddy who wants to distract the country from the millions he made from Halliburton, the billions he ran up in debt and the war he lied us into. You know, I have to, I have to say, it takes some, it takes, I admire your stones for defending the indefensible. Even you know that it's wrong, it is very least, it's unseemly to bring up this guy's daughter in two separate debates. And the fact that they didn't, you know, get into an argument with lunatic Alan Keyes when he attacked her daughter proves nothing other than they have good manners. And the fact I'm serious. No, they have very good manners. He has never, in a single time, volunteered his anything about his daughter's sexuality, volunteer.
[2:39]August 24, 2004, Davenport, Iowa. He he brought her up on the campaign trail. That's just the one that I. Yes, he did. Check it out on Google. August 24, 2001. All right. Well, there are legitimate, even powerful arguments to be made against the Bush administration's foreign policy. But those arguments are complicated, hard to explain and, in the end, not all that sensational. It's a lot easier just to make things up and so John Kerry has decided to do just that. An interview with the Demoin Register yesterday, Kerry warned that there is quote, a great potential that Americans should be drafted into the armed forces if Bush is re-elected president. This is a total crock, as Kerry himself knows well, virtually no one favors returning to the draft. Bush is against it, Congress is against it, the Pentagon is completely against it. It is not happening now or anywhere in the near future. Again, John Kerry knows this very well and yet he pretends otherwise in order to scare college students into voting for him for him. And they probably will vote for him, but it's still pretty dishonorable. Well, first off, what is Bush's plan for helping out the Guard and Reserve? Kerry has a proposal to add 40,000 troops to the army. You're making a separate argument. Bush stretched past the limit. What is Bush going to do? You're making a separate argument. You're attacking Bush's policy toward the National Guard and Reserves, which I think is completely fair and deserves to be attacked, frankly. But there are no plans to reinstate the draft because the Pentagon says that an all volunteer army is more effective. It's not going to happen. Help me out though. The guy who says he's not going to have a draft is the same guy who said there were weapons in Mass Destruction. Well, you know what? Bush has no credibility. It's not simply the decision of one man, okay? It's a decision that in the end Congress will make and there's no possibility it will make that decision, as you know. Please be real. Terrorists exploded two bombs in the heart of heavily fortified Green Zone in Baghdad yesterday. Another bombing killed another American soldier in Eastern Baghdad. Meanwhile, on the home front, the price of oil is hovering around $55 a barrel. The Bush administration has hit the debt limit of 7.4 trillion and they are using accounting tricks to keep the United States of America from going into default like a degenerate gambler with a bookie named knuckles. We are critically short of the flu vaccine. Health and Human Services says not to expect any vaccine from Canada, despite what President Bush said in the debate. And yet, our president thinks he deserves reelection. In fact, he told reporters and I'm quoting him here, I feel great about where we are. Well, Newt Gingrich has a different take. If you don't have some anxiety, the former speaker said, you're not in touch with reality. Well, Newt, I couldn't have said it better myself. Of course, everyone has some anxiety, but that's not the point Bush is making, as you know. I found it actually really interesting. There was a poll released today, I'm not exactly sure what it proves, but it does say something interesting. 69% of armed members of the Armed Services right now support Bush as compared to less than 30 for Kerry. And that overall they were far more hopeful about the direction the country is moving than the average person. These are people, as you know, who are risking their lives in Iraq. It's not a defense of the Iraq policy, but it does say something interesting about perspective.
[5:33]Which is an interesting question, why? Because the military's always attracted a disproportionate number of. I wonder why, though? Well, first off, they tend to poll the officer corps a lot more than the enlisted corps. Look at Michael Moore's new book, Letters from the Front. Will they ever trust us again? Those are enlisted people. Oh, I'll get right on Michael Moore's book, I'll take it out of my local library.
[5:50]You should. Well, Winona LaDuke, remember that name? Even to students of presidential politics, it might not immediately ring a bell. So here is a refresher. LaDuke is the two-time Green Party candidate for Vice President. Four years ago, she ran with Ralph Nader on the party's stridently pro-hemp ticket. A longtime Indian rights activist, LaDuke rarely joined Nader on the campaign trail, owing in far part to legal difficulties she had with her common-law husband, who was having police at the time. But on one of the few occasions LaDuke did speak to the national press, she offered at least one policy proposal. If elected, LaDuke promised to remove pictures of white people from the White House and replace them with portraits of famous minorities. Down with George Washington, up with Grover Washington. This year, LaDuke is working on a wind power project and will not be running for office again. But in a statement released this week, she declared that she's no longer supporting Ralph Nader, she's for John Kerry. Keep that in mind Election Day. John Kerry, if he's good enough for Winona LaDuke, he's good enough for you. Come on, I mean, that's what. Someone's got to keep track of the celebrity endorsements here. Okay, so you. It's like me saying David Duke endorses George W. Bush, you know, with Winona. You're missing, you're missing it, Paul. I mean, the Duke family is over there. Day after day, day after day, you make the argument, look, Barbara Streisand's voting for John Kerry, you should too. And I'm just saying there are other people who are voting for John Kerry. It's not just Barbara Streisand, it's also Winona LaDuke. And you know David Lesar, the CEO of Halliburton, I believe is for George W. Bush. So, you know, you can go with Halliburton, you can go with David and Lenona Duke, whoever they are. Winona LaDuke. I suspect they're not related actually. He's been called the most trusted name in fake news. Next, we're joined by Jon Stewart for his one-of-a-kind take on politics, the press and America. We'll be right back. Carville, Begala, Carlson, and Novak in the crossfire. For free tickets to Crossfire at the George Washington University, call 202-994-8CNN or visit our website. Now you can step into the crossfire. Meanwhile, the president's challenger was also in New York, also facing some difficult questions. How do you stay in shape? Do you eat something? Do you have to maintain?
[7:58]It's like Nerf Crossfire.
[8:05]Welcome back to Crossfire, as both of our loyal viewers, of course, know, our show is all about left versus right, black versus white, paper versus plastic, Red Sox against the Yankees. That's why every day we have two guests with their own unique perspective on the news. But today, Crossfire is very different. We have just one guest. He's either the funniest smart guy on TV or the smartest funny man. We'll find out which in a minute. But he's certainly an Emmy Award winner, the host of Comedy Central's Daily Show, and the co-author of the new mega best-seller America the Book, A Citizen's Guide to Democracy in Action, at your bookstores everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Crossfire, Jon Stewart. Thank you. Thank you very much. Very kind of you to say. Now, what, can I say something very quickly? Uh, what, why do we have to fight, the two of you? Can't we just say something nice about John Kerry right now? I I like John. I care about John Kerry. And something about President Bush? He'll be unemployed soon. I failed the test. See, I, I made the effort anyway. You know, actually, I knew Bush in Texas a little bit, and he, truth is, he's actually a great guy. He's not a very good president, but he's actually a very good person. I don't think you should have to hate to oppose somebody, but it makes it easier. Why do you argue, the two of you? I I hate to see it. We enjoy it. Let me ask you a question. Wait, let me ask you a question first. Is John Kerry? Is John Kerry really the best? I mean, I think, you know, John Kerry's terrible, I think. No, he's not the best. No, he's the best. I thought Lincoln was good. Is he the best the Democrats can do? Is he the best the Democrats can do this year? I'd always thought in a in a democracy, and again, I don't know, I've only lived in this country. Um, that there's a process, what do they call them? Primaries. Right. And they don't always go with the best, but they go with whoever won. So is he the best? According to the process. Right. But of of the nine guys running, do you think he was the best? Do you think he was the best? The most impressive? Uh, the most impressive? Yeah. Uh, I thought Al Sharpton was very impressive. Uh, I I enjoyed his way of speaking. I think oftentimes the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely. And uh, uh, because otherwise shows with titles such as Crossfire, or Hardball, or I'm going to kick your ass, or uh, will will will jump on it.
[10:25]It it in in many ways, it's funny, you know, and and I I made a special effort to come on the show today because I have, uh, privately, amongst my friends, and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being, uh, uh, bad. And and I wanted to, I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and and tell you that I don't, it's not so much that it's bad as it's hurting America. So I I wanted to come here today. But it makes it worse, John. Let me. No, no, let me. Here's just one what I wanted to tell you guys. Stop. Stop, stop, stop hurting America. Okay. Now, let me. And and come work for us because we as the people. How do you pay? The people not, not well, not CNN I'm sure. But you can sleep at night. See, the the the thing is we need your your help. Your right now you're helping the politicians and the the the corporations, and we're left out there to mo our lawn. We fight beating up. Well, you guys said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes. No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You are part of their strategies. You are partisan, uh, what do you call it? Hacks. Wait, John. Wait, wait, let me let me tell you something valuable that I think we do that I'd like to see. Something valuable? Yeah, no, well, it's it's nice when when politicians come on, it's nice to get them to try and answer the question. And in order to do that, we try and ask them pointed questions. I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry, responded to it first on the screen.
[11:53]If if you want to, if you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to. No, no, here's here's the point. Kerry doesn't have. If that's if that's your goal, No, it's not. I would name first, I'd name for. That's a very good show. Kerry won't come on this show. He will come on your show. Let me suggest why he wants to. Well, we have civilized discourse. Well, here here here's here's an example of this civilized discourse. Here are three of the questions you asked John Kerry. You have a chance to interview the Democratic nominee. You asked him questions such as, quote, how are you holding up? Is it hard not to take the attacks personally? Have you ever flip-flopped? et cetera, et cetera. Didn't you feel like you got the chance to interview the guy, why not ask him a real question instead of just suck up to him? Yeah, how you holding up is a, is a real suck up and, uh, uh, I actually was giving him a hot stone massage, as as we're doing it. You know, it's it's interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility to the, you know, I I didn't realize that and maybe this explains quite a bit is that the news organizations looked to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity. So, um, what what I would suggest is when you talk about your holding politicians feet to the fire, I think that's disingenuous. I think your. How are you holding up? I mean, come on. No, no, no, I don't, but my my role isn't, I don't think. You can ask him a real question, don't you think? Instead of saying, you know. I don't think I have to. By the way, I also asked him, you know, where you aim Cambodia, but I didn't really care. Because I I don't care because I think it's it's stupid. I can tell. But my my point is this. If your idea of, uh, confronting me is that I don't ask hard hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellas. We're here to love you, not confront you. No, no, no, but but what I'm saying is is this, I I'm not. I'm here to to confront you because we need help from the media and they're hurting us. And it's it's the idea is that. No, if you did, if you did, let me get this straight. If the indictment is, uh, if the indictment is, and I have seen you say this, that, yeah, Crossfire reduces everything, as I said in the intro to left, right, black, white. Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show. It's like saying the weather channel reduces to a storm. No, no, no. That'd be great. I would love to I would love to see a debate 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on as best we can get them. And have them fight it out. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is, uh, a show about athletics. I'm sorry. I I think you're a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring. Let me ask you, let me ask you a question on the news. Now, this is theater. I mean, it's it's obvious. How how old are you? It's no, it's no. It is. I think. 35. And you wear a bow tie. Yeah, I do. So, so this is. No, no, I know, I know. We are in right. I know. Let me just go now. Come on, listen. I'm not I'm not suggesting that you're not you're not a smart guy because those are not easy to tie, but the thing is that this, you're doing theater when you should be doing debate. Which would be great. What do you do? No, that's just not true. It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I'll and I'll tell you why I know it. You have John Kerry on your show, and you snip his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery. Absolutely. You're. You got to be kidding me. He comes out and you. You're on CNN. My the show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you? Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you, when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Yes, no, it's that's embarrassing. Yes, I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so for you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago. You know, the interesting thing that I have is so. No, no. You have a responsibility to the public discourse. And you've failed miserably, I think. You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk reactionary talk. Wait, I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny. No. No, I'm not going to be your monkey. Um, I watch your show every day and it kills me. I can tell you a little bit. It's so, oh, it's so painful to watch. Um, you know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy. You're just really John Stewart, are you? No, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore. I just can't. It's like to have dinner with you. It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this when you come over to their house and sit and lecture them, you know, they're not doing the right thing that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities. If I think they are. I wouldn't want to eat with you, man. That's horrible. I know, and you won't. But the thing I want to get to. We did promise naked pictures of Supreme Court. Yeah, we did. Let's get to those. Why can't we just talk, please. I beg of you guys. Please. I think you watch too much Crossfire. We're going to take a quick break. No, no, no, listen. No, no, hold on, we've got we've got commercials. Please stop. Please, Jon Stewart in the rapid fire. Hopefully, you'll be here. We hope. We think. And then do US soldiers refuse an order in Iraq? Wolf Blitzer has the latest on this investigation right after the break.
[16:51]Paula Zahn now, Primetime Politics. CNN tonight, 8 Eastern. We're all going to be very, very rich. To pull off the crime of the century, a criminal mastermind and his team will have to go through 400 feet of Earth, 6 inches of solid steel, and one sweet old lady. Just thought I'd leave you all with some sniniment cookies. Now, the mastermind meets his match. Tom Hanks. Order The Ladykillers on Indemand Pay-Per-View. I'm Wolf Blitzer in Washington, coming up at the top of the hour. The Pentagon investigates a report that US soldiers refused to go on a dangerous mission in Iraq. We'll have details. In medical news, the FDA prescribes a strongly worded label on antidepressant drugs. And why some experts think the flu vaccine shortage is a grim warning about US vulnerability to bioterrorism. All those stories, much more only minutes away in Wolf Flitzer Reports. Now back to Crossfire.
[18:04]Welcome back to Crossfire. We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think of the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story? No. I'm sorry. I don't. Oh, okay. What do you think? Uh, let me change the subject then. Where's your moral outrage on this? I don't have any. I know. Which candidate's supposed to provide you better material? I'm sorry. Which candidate's supposed would provide you better material if he won? Mr. T, I think he'd be the funniest. Uh, I don't. You can have a stake in it that way, as not just a citizen, but as a professional comic. Which I hold to be much more important than as as a citizen. Well, there you go. Uh, who would provide you better material? Just most. I I don't really know. That's kind of not how we look at it. We look at the the absurdity of the system provides us the most material.
[19:15]And that is best served by sort of the, uh, uh, the theater of it all. You know, which, by the way, thank you both because it's been help. But if if Kerry gets elected, is it going I mean, you said you're voting for him, you obviously support him. It's uh, clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president? Now, why would it be harder? Because you support. The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So in that case, if it's less absurd, then yeah, I think it'd be harder. But, uh, I mean it'd be hard to top this group. I mean, quite frankly. Uh, in terms of absurdity and their world, uh, matching up, uh, to to the one that, you know, it was interesting I I President Bush was saying, you know, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record. But I've heard President Bush describe his record, his record doesn't match his record. So, you know, I don't I don't worry about it in that respect. But let me ask you you guys are going to question because we talked a little bit about, you know, you're actually doing honest debate and all that. But after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards? The men's room. Right after that. Spin Alley. No, Spin Alley. What are you talking about? At these debates? Yeah, you go to Spin Alley, the place called Spin Alley. Now, don't you think that for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag that you're literally walking to a place called Deception Lane? Like, it's Spin Alley. It's don't don't you see that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys. No, I actually believe I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with. Neither of us was ever in the spin room. They they. No, I did. I went to Larry King show with him. They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush who I disagree with in everything. They believe that stuff, John. This is not a lie or deception at all. They believe in him. Here's what I think. I think they believe in him. I think they believe President Bush would do a better job and I believe that Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means. I hate to say it. I don't think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion. But. Okay. John Stewart goes one-on-one with his fans. You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show. Now you're getting into it, I like that. Okay, we'll be right back. Yeah. No, no, no. Listen. Now, what's interesting, you're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show. Now you're getting into it, I like that. Okay, we'll be right back. Uh, Renee from Texas. Why do you think it's hard or difficult or impossible for politicians to answer a straight, simple question? I don't think it's hard. I just think nobody holds their feet to the fire to do it. So they don't have to. They get to come on, you know, shows that don't, that are too easy on them. Yeah. Not easy on. Asking how you holding up? You begin by saying we were too hard on people and too difficult or contemptuous of that. I think you're, yeah. All right, Jon Stewart, come back soon. Jon Stewart, good of you to join us. Thank you very much. The book is America, a Citizen's Guide to Democracy in Action. From the left, I am Paul Begala. And from the right, I'm Tucker Carlson. Have a great weekend. See you Monday.
