[0:01]Welcome to another episode of Soul with the Love where we explore that love is safe and if it's not safe, it's not love. We have beautiful Dana, Dana and my little doggy Frizu. With us, she just decided to jump in, and today we want to explore, um, because I've seen this so often like powerful women, driven women, career wise or just life wise, who really struggle with, um, relationship. And, uh, I know you have something to add, but what I've seen when people come and see me and we do the some cultures work, which doesn't lie, tells exactly what's really going on in the subconscious. When I work with women who are in that kind of situation, quite often what I see is that you grow up, your little kid, so you're a little girl, and you watch mommy and daddy. And, you know, dad looks like the powerful one, the one who has fun, the one who can do everything, and mom, you know, is often scared or subservient, and the little girl goes, I don't want that. I'm going to make sure that I'm safe, that this is not going to happen to me. By coincidence, that was my life for a very long time until I discovered this pattern through doing the subconscious work. And, uh, we were talking that you work in the corporate world quite often, want to share the experience with that? Well, I I've noticed through, you know, working in corporate and and having friends who are corporate executives, that they, um, they they struggle in relationships, and I was like, well, why? And they're very proud of being able to take care of themselves, but what it's doing is I'm finding it's impacting the dynamic, the masculine and feminine energy in the relationship. And men who like to court and would like to treat a woman aren't able to do that, and they are feel like they're unable to satisfy the woman. And Then they find like they get scared because they don't think I can make this woman happy, because I cannot use what makes me feel good as a man. And that's I I saw that with one of my client, he's very romantic, and he's, uh, that's what gives him lots of joy when he can do that. And a healthy man, apparently, in psychology, a healthy man wants to protect his woman. It's like a biological thing that happens inside, and I'm a very capable woman, like I was single for a long time, the house, the car, the cottage, business, you know, I can take care of everything if I really want to. But I love when I let him, and I got first, I had to think about it's like, let me do this, and I was like, no, I know I'm going to make him happy. It's going to make him feel like I I appreciate him, and I need him, because it is it is cool to have a man that can do all these things, like I know I can do that. But I'm secure enough in myself that I don't have to prove like, no, let me do it, like, and I think it's important to remember, there there is a difference between the female energy and the male energy. We all bring something different to the table that's that matters. You've you've seen that also in your relationship. I've seen it in my relationships, and even when when I was dating, uh, I I found that, um, you know, there's a part of me that was independent, and I I didn't want to feel like I owed a guy something, and and I can do it myself, and if I let him do this, then I am obligated. You know, to do something else.
[3:59]And I when I started doing the work and realizing what I actually enjoy, I really do enjoy it when I get court when I would get courted by a man, when, you know, simple things like opening the door, or, you know, planning the date, and my partner now, he did these things. He actually started, he was doing some of these things when we were friends, and I was like, oh, that's really nice.
[4:33]But I I had done the work on myself and understood that, you know, I I had these, you know, maybe more masculine energies, but that wasn't working when I was in partnership with somebody. And I allowed myself to be I just allowed myself to be more feminine and allow him and be open to receiving, and knowing I'm worthy of receiving. Yeah, if you don't feel where you're receiving, then you want to take the control. Like for me, it was kind of a test, if I went on a date, and I didn't like the guy, I wouldn't let him pay for the bill.
[5:05]If I liked the guy, I was like, okay, now we're entering a contract where I can be, I don't have to rule or, you know, take control. I can actually let myself be, you know, the receiving, the the partner in in this thing, and it is sexy when you're with a man who drives, like drives the energy, not all the time, but like when the man can take charge, it's really, uh, it's really something cool. Yes, it's really actually, it's nice. And I, you know, I wish more women in, you know, successful, um, you know, CEO type women understood how nice it is to finally not have to be in control. Allow the man to, you know, do the things he likes to do to make you happy and, you know, to reinforce his masculine characteristics. Otherwise, what ends up happening because I've seen this.
[6:09]A woman puts a wall and even though they're in control because deep subconsciously, they're just scared of being at the mercy of a man. Like this this veneer, and never get the gift of connecting with the heart, of doing the work so you know you're worthy of love, because when you're worthy of love, then you have intimacy with yourself. Then you can have true intimacy with another, then your life feels full when you open your heart that way. Like this is happiness comes from connection. Like if you connect with your work, you're happy, if you connect with another person, you feel happy. If you connect with your mate, with your kids, with the moment, like if you're in nature and you're walking instead of just, you know, you actually connect, connection makes us feel happy, and the ultimate connection is actually the connection with the self. Um, anything else you want to add? No, I I like that, and I the connection with the self, that I think is is the ultimate. I believe that's the ultimate. And then the knowing that I'm safe, that's safe, and love is safe, and that when you take your time to get to know somebody, and you are clear on what you desire, and you've done the deep work, it's really, really beautiful what what comes from it. Yeah, it's it's a gift to give to yourself. Um, this is it for our episode. If you enjoyed it, please like it, subscribe, and share it with other people. And, um, I have a book I wrote, it's called Conversation with the Heart, and, uh, there's a link below, and you can, uh, download it, order it on Amazon, it'll be there for you, and it will help you have this intimacy with your heart. That's it for now. Remember, love is safe and if it's not safe, it's not love. Bye for now.
