[0:00]I did learn English back then. I learned English. They teach English there, but when I moved here, I learned that it's not the same English that you have. The English here, it's different. I think the biggest difference is there's so many of these things here in America, these, um, when you shorten a thing, but you shorten a thing down to a just a few letters. I think it's called acronym. Like there's so many of those, like FBI, YMCA, KFC, like so many of those. And I I've noticed that people here seem to assume that every single person knows the meaning of every single one of these acronyms. Even people who moved here like four hours ago. From day one, I moved here, people just say to me things like, yeah, I'm I'm going through TSA at JFK. You want a PBJ? I have a PhD and I take CBD for my ADD. And I'm like, what the hell are you saying? What is is this English? I I thought I know this language. Because they teach English in school in in Finland, but but they mostly teach words. Remember those? I know so many words, but not these acronym things. Because even official papers here assume that you know these things. I moved here, I had to fill out a form. First line on that form. D O B. No explanation. Just DOB empty space. Now I know it's Date of Birth, but back then I was like, this could be anything. Dead on the beach.
[2:05]No.
[2:11]Then I did my my first first show at a comedy club in America and the club said that, hey, you have to fill out a W9. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And he said, it's a form for the IRS. Well, what the fuck is that? And then he said, you shouldn't say that. Don't say that. You should you should say WTF. And and I was like, what the fuck is that? Because back home in Finland, we just don't use these acronyms that much. Like now we have a little bit more, but when I was growing up there, we had two. We had only two. UFO, HIV, the only two. And I don't think we even realized that they were shortened from something, like, we we didn't pronounce them like UFO. We we just said UFO. And we still say it like that. We still it's faster. But here it's everywhere and people assume. Turns out even in Canada, I went to Vancouver, Canada, first time ever. Immediately when I arrived there, people asked me that, hey, have you ever before done a show in BC? And I was like, you mean more than 2,000 years ago? I don't think so. No. I I was so young. But BC, that means British Columbia in Canada. It's a province. I didn't know then. Also, first ever time I went to Michigan. I went to Detroit, Michigan. Never been to Michigan. And immediately when I got there, people were like, hey, have you been to UP? You have to go to UP. You are UP UP. And now I know it means Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I know that now, but how the fuck could I have known that back then? Like, how did you know that? Nobody in Finland. Zero people know that. Nobody would know that. But they just assume. They were like, UP, UP, UP, UP. And I I was like, yeah, and I also poo. I think it it I I I think it it can even be dangerous to assume that everybody knows all these acronyms. Like, like this this one guy was yelling. He was yelling like, like, help! I need C P R. Well, I have no idea what that means. So he didn't make it. So it's dangerous. But don't worry, don't worry. I am determined to learn all the acronyms. I have to because I live here. I live in the land of acronyms. This is this is the land of acronyms. Even the name of this country, That's the first hint. There will be more. Even the name, USA. That's I've actually noticed most people in the USA almost never say USA. Most times you say US. Just just US. Like who has time to say the A? Even the acronym was too long for you. What the what the Well, I am I am learning. I am learning. I I've learned many of them now. Like, just just yesterday I had a WHO. You know that? Now you know how I fucking feel. I made it up. That's it. That's how I feel every day here. But I'm learning and I figured the best way to remember all these acronyms is is a little song. So I made this little song. Uh, it's the acronym song. I, uh, I took the melody from another song. You might recognize it. It's a it's a song that has lots of letters in it. It's the Alphabet song. Okay. But I modified it. Okay. A B C, N B C, H B O, M T V. P T S D, F R D M V. D U I, with S U V. I B S, O C D, F Y I, S T D.
[7:54]Thank you. Thank you. You you didn't expect there will be also music tonight. I've seen foods here that I have never seen before. I recently I saw this in the grocery store. It was a it was a meatless sausage. And I was like, I was like, can can can this be? It's a meatless sausage. It's sausage, no meat. This is interesting. I want to buy this. So, I bought it, and I ate it. I ate the whole thing. And it was not bad. It was okay. It was pretty good. But but the following day,
[8:38]The the following day, I made a shitless turd.
[8:57]And and that that was even more mysterious. It was a big turd, no shit in it.
[9:14]Beyond shit. Also communicating here, so many misunderstandings in the beginning. Like, it's so hard. Like, I I had just moved here. I just moved here. And I was in a hurry to get to the airport. And I asked I asked this guy, how far is the airport? And before he answered me, he said, well, I'm not going to lie.
[9:59]And I said, that's nice. I I was I was hoping for that. I I am so glad you are not going to lie. Like, I I Why would you lie?
[10:21]Why are you even considering lying? If you would lie, I would miss my flight. Like, I thought that is the strangest thing to say to somebody before answering their question. Like, I'm not going to lie. But I just moved here, so I figured that, okay, maybe that's something you're supposed to do. Whenever someone asks you something, before you answer them, you should first let them know, whether or not you're going to lie. Well, okay, my turn.
[11:10]And I said, I am going to lie. I I'm I'm going to lie big time. You look all right. That's not the not the most beautiful metaphor in the world. And yeah, like we don't really do that in Finland in arguments. I haven't heard that, like, if somebody would suddenly say to a finish person, like, oh, your mother is a fat bitch.
[11:57]I think we'd be like, so where do you know her from?
[12:08]So I have to text her right now and congratulate her. Like, oh, hey, Mom, you never guess who I ran into.
