[0:00]a lot of power is thinking ahead two or three moves ahead. And in order to think several moves in advance, you you know what your intentions are. You know where you're gonna go in six months, right? And so you have to have a vision of where you're headed, but you have to keep everybody else in the dark. So that they can't predict what's happening next. So, part of concealing intentions, part of power is the ability to think strategically, to think in advance, to think several moves in advance. And that means having intentions, having moves that you've planned out, but you want to keep other people on their heels. They don't know where you're gonna go next. Talking less creates an aura of power. It makes you look larger than you actually are. It makes you think make people think. He's mysterious. She here, she's mysterious. When you talk a lot, I don't know if you've noticed this, but people who talk a lot, they kind of, there's something insecure about them. If you can't control your own mouth, if you can't control that, then what can you control? You can't control your emotions, you can't control your behavior. It signals weakness and insecurity. Whereas talking less, you're not gonna say something stupid. And then when you do speak, it's gonna carry a lot of weight. Down to the baseline of every human being, we're all actors. Some are good actors, some act more, some are bad actors. But I always tell people, if you look at children three or four years old, or you remember your own childhood, you were constantly pretending. You were constantly acting to your parents. You would act like an angel to get something that you wanted. You'd act all sweet and innocent because you wanted some candy, you wanted some game. Being an actor is part of human nature. It's deeply, deeply ingrained in all of us. Because we're a social animal. If you went around just speaking everything that you thought, you would offend everyone around you, right? If you told somebody that their clothes are ugly, that they look fat, that their ideas are stupid, they're gonna hate you. You're not gonna get very far in life. So you learn at an early age to control what you say, to control who you are, to control what you do. That's how we all are. We're different in front of our father than we are with our friends, right? So get over this notion that we can all just hang out and just be who we are. You're never being who you are. You're always acting to some degree.
[2:34]People rise to power, they become a CEO, they become a leader, they become a president or whatever, based on certain qualities that they have, a strength. It could be aggression, it could be being a people pleaser, being just very empathetic. It could be having a populist touch. It could be good with words, an orator. That's their strength. They use that and they get a lot of power because they're good at it. They don't have to think about it. It's almost natural to them. They get to a position of power, and now the world is changing, your rivals are changing, the business world is changing, and you're still holding on to that one quality that brought you to the top. You're still thinking that my aggression or that my being popular and and pleasing everybody or my speaking well, and you keep holding on to that, and the world has passed you by and you're weak. And Machiavelli said, if I could create the monster, the perfect, the Frankenstein of of a leader in business or politics, whatever, it would be somebody who could change with the times, who they rose to power based on a strength. They see that it's not quite the right quality, and they adapt and they become and they move with the times. He compared it to a river, right? And you're kind of moving like the water, you're flowing with this, this river, and that's power. But being rigid and having a form and having a strategy that you always rely on, and having a personality that you always exude to the world, and perform as, is weak because you can't adapt. I mean, think of your own business, your own business, your business in the last three years. Can you begin to imagine all the incredible shifts that have occurred in just that time? And so in order to gain people's attention, people get very bored, right? They get very bored very quickly. If you're always the same, if you always have one note, they're like children who've been continually stimulated with all kinds of, of new and exciting new toys, right? And you're vying for their attention, okay? If you're always the same, if you're always doing the same, if you're always appearing the same, they're gonna look, they're gonna get bored with you, and they're gonna look for something else. So you have to be mysterious, you have to withdraw. If you withdraw and you're not always vying for their attention, you disappear for a month. You don't post anything or you post something that's maybe a little bit enigmatic where they're not quite sure what you mean. Suddenly they're gonna pay attention to you. Michael Jackson was very good about that. Part of it was his personality, but he would withdraw. People don't understand. Michael Jackson was a real kind of power person. He really is interested in the game of power. In fact, I've said this before in another podcast, he had the 48 laws of power, and when he died, they auctioned his copy of the book, and it had all of these notes in it. He'd annotated it completely with his own notes. So he was very interested. But before the book came out, he understood the game of power. And he understood sometimes you have to withdraw. Sometimes you have to be one of those movie stars like Greta Garbo, who disappears for six months, a year or two years. People start thinking, what's he up to next? When's his next album gonna be out? What's it gonna be about? Even Beyonce plays the game like that. So the people these are act,
[6:07]these are artists, so it's a little easier, but the game is to sometimes withdraw from that attention cycle, where you're always having to be something for other people. To take a step back and let them start wondering what happened to you? Disappear for a while. You have to know the game of absence and presence. Sometimes you have to be absent and sometimes you have to be present. Napoleon Bonaparte said, if I show up at the theater every evening as a spectator, the audience sees me, they start taking me for granted. But if I show up a month later, go, oh, there's Napoleon, wow. Then I show up the next week, oh, he's coming off. And then I show up six months. They don't know when I'm gonna show up next. So you're all, they're always having to think about him. So that's sort of the game a little bit, knowing how to this dynamic between absence and presence. So there are times when you need to apologize, and the apology has to be sincere, and it has to be not the usual thing where, I don't know what came over me, that's not who I am. That just happened once. No. You acknowledge that you made a mistake, right? That you did something wrong. And you show genuine contrition. And then, you know, a lot of people were canceled six years ago, that's when they were contacting me or eight years ago. And I said, you know, show that your contrition, understand why people reacted against you. Give it a little bit of time, and then come back with more or less the same image. But you know, understanding, there are, there are kind of guard rails here. You know, you have to understand that the person above you has an ego and has probably a bigger ego than you do. Obviously, because they're powerful. But with an ego comes insecurities, okay? So you must be aware that the person above you has insecurities and probably has more than you do. Because they're constantly worried, do people still like me? Am I still doing as well? Am I as popular as I was a year ago? Am I getting as much attention as I deserve? Am I doing a good job? He or she is very insecure. They're thinking about these things all of the time. So, what happens is if you try too eagerly to impress them, and you do such a good job on some project or something, and then all the attention accrues to you for doing that. Then you're gonna trigger their insecurities. Wow. This person's getting the attention and not me. Maybe they're after my job, maybe they're more popular than I am. They're not gonna consciously think this because they don't want to admit that they're insecure. But unconsciously, they're they're worried about you. They're thinking things that maybe you're a threat, right? And slowly, they're gonna build up kind of resentment towards you. And what will happen is, you'll probably be fired or you'll be demoted. So if you work hard on a project for somebody else, from somebody higher up in your group, and you do a great job, you need to tone it down a little bit. Don't take so much credit. Let them bask a little bit in the glory. Let them have the attention, yes. They're the genius behind the project. I was just executing their their desires. That makes them suddenly go, wow, this person, you understand that they're that they did a great job. But they're being a little bit humble. They're giving you the attention, which you deserve anyway because you think you do, okay? But if you were, if you're too weak about it, if you're too humble, if you're going, oh, you know, you don't take credit at all, you weren't involved in it at all. That makes you look weak. Right? So you have to be kind of nuanced. You have to do a good job. You have to try really hard. You have to do the best that you can, but you gotta let the person above you take some of the credit, take some of the glory. Otherwise, they're gonna be wondering about you. They're gonna be thinking that you think that you're better than them, and you're gonna trigger their insecurities. This is the most important law in power that I want you to engrave in your brain, right now as you listen to me. And it's the following. Everybody has insecurities and has an ego. And the worst thing you can do for your boss, for your colleagues, for the people underneath you is to violate their ego. To make them feel insecure. You will pay a price for it. They will resent you. They will work against you. They will betray you in the end. So never lose sight that everybody around you has an ego and has insecurities. So law number one is, understand that probably they are insecure, probably you're gonna trigger their egos, and be a little bit careful. Nothing, nothing ever comes free in this world. Nobody ever, ever gives you something free. Nobody gives you anything for free. They're wanting something in return. And there it's a trick. Where they're thinking that if they offer their services for free, you're gonna go, okay, that's great. And you're not gonna pay attention to the fact that they're after something else from you, right? And so it's always better to pay people and pay them well for their services. So if you're generous with your money, if you show that you're not niggly, you're not a powerful person, feels confident in their wealth, feels confident in their resources, feel confident in the time that they have. And so they give that generously to other people. Being tight with your money, not wanting to pay your employees well, is a terrible, terrible quality and it will bite you in the end. So I always tell you, maybe you don't give them credit for everything. Maybe you keep them a little bit on on their toes. But you pay them well, right? You treat them well. They feel comfortable. They have food. They have an apartment. They have living expenses, okay? And you don't want to make them feel insecure. About that. So being cheap with your money is very, very dangerous. A signal of weakness, okay? But on the other hand, when people are offering their services, they come to you saying, I want it for free. I say, forget about that. There's a ploy there. They're after something. But if somebody comes to you and says, Robert, I really want to work for you. I think I could be a really great researcher, and this is what I'm worth. And then you see that they have some experience, and you try them out and you pay them. That's gonna be a good relationship moving forward. Well, the single most important skill to master is to be more focused outwardly. So the problem that you have is, you're always inside yourself. You're always thinking about your needs. Your emotions, your problems, things that have happened to you. Do people like me? Am I getting enough attention? That's a deadly, deadly attitude to have in business or in any venture in life. On the world, on the trends, on what other people are thinking, you have to become a master observer of the social game. Being able to read other people's psychology, being able to read and understand the trends that are going on in the world. Where the world is going in five years. So get outside of all your emotions and your feelings. And oh, I'm not getting this. Oh, I'm such a victim. Oh, people don't like me. And be laser focused on other people. What they need, what they're thinking, what they're feeling. That's like the a killer skill that you need to develop. So you need to think of your 20s. Which by is by far the best years of your life. Let's get that straight, first of all. It was the best years of my life, right? It's most exciting. You know, you're young. You look good. You got energy, you know, you dress well probably. I hope. The thing that you want from your 20s is, you want an apprenticeship, right? You want to learn. You want learning skills. Solid skills. So that by the time you turn 30, which is the critical turning point in your life, I said the 20s are your most fun. The 30s are the key part of your life, which is my key part, the late 30s. When you're 30, you wanna be go, I had fun. I had adventures. I traveled, you know, I dated. I I did everything I wanted, but I also learned things. I learned a B and C skills. You don't have to learn just one skill. You can learn three skills, three things that you master, that you spent seven years going into deeply. But if you wasted your 20s, if you just had fun, you just did whatever you wanted to, by the time you hit 30, you nothing will stick together. Nothing will cohere. You've been stretched too thin. But if you're own if you're linear, laser focused, I'm just gonna go to Goldman Sachs. I'm gonna get a job. I'm gonna get paid 150,000 a year. You're not spreading yourself out. You're not learning enough skills. You're not developing yourself inwardly. You know, learning a skill is a skill. But learning is a skill, and in order to learn, you have to be able to put up with boredom, frustration, and tedium.
