[0:00]Want to see something cool? My buddy calls me up and asked me to help finish his electrical project, because he's having some....
[0:06]problems. Found it. Look at this and tell me how you feel right now.
[0:10]When a buddy asks for help, you help them. But there's a question of degrees. You got to ask yourself, would they do it for me? And if the answer's yes, well, grab the kit. We're going to work.
[0:17]But just because he's my buddy doesn't mean I'm not going to roast his bitch ass on the internet.
[0:21]Because damn, dude, what the fuck were you thinking?
[0:24]Woodbutchers, playing fucking Sparky again.
[0:27]You can't make up for a lack of tools by flexing an extra chromosome.
[0:30]I'm not God's gift to the electrical arts, but the junkies wouldn't strip this shit for parts. This has all the style and grace of a quadriplegic kickboxing match.
[0:37]You can't eat crayons until you have a seizure and call yourself Jackson fucking Pollock.
[0:41]I've seen better wiring done by lepers in a Mumbai whorehouse.
[0:44]This looks like Arson with extra steps. Kurt Cobain didn't make this big a mess on a ceiling with 12 gauge.
[0:49]Your house doesn't have wiring. It has cancer. Sometimes, the only thing to do is to grab a pair of diikes and just bushwhack that shit.
[0:55]It's okay to not know everything. We all start somewhere, but electricity and plumbing are two of the most dangerous places to go fucking around with things when you don't know what you're doing.
[1:03]The code books for both are written in the blood of people who died screaming in the small hours because someone thought they had a fucking clue.
[1:09]I've got tools and time to teach. I'll even give your work a once over before you get it inspected by The Man.
[1:13]But call me before you touch anything more than a Christmas light ever again.
[1:19]Because you're my friend and I love you, even if you can't be trusted to wire a fucking outhouse. And that's pretty cool.
