[0:01]Welcome to another episode of Soul Ready Love where we explore that love is safe, and if it's not safe, it's not love. Today, I have the pleasure of having Dana again, Dana Giroud.
[0:13]I love saying her name, it's French. And today we're going to explore uh, the idea of what really is happening when you dread going back home, being with your partner. What's that telling you about the relationship? So,
[0:31]you've had that experience, Mhm. you want to talk about that but also how how to use this to our benefit.
[0:40]Well, when I started dreading going to my partner, it was a wake up call, and all I could describe it as something's off.
[0:55]And I was worried, and I wish at that point, I had come to see someone like you because I I was feeling disconnected from myself and couldn't pinpoint it.
[1:11]And the desire not to be with my partner or to connect with them and kind of dreading going home and being around him, uh, was was is a red flag.
[1:27]And now, now I know, um, that there was a lot of work to do for my personal growth, and
[1:40]Yeah, it was it was a big wake up call.
[1:43]What you said that that I like you said like, I was not connected with myself and I did not know, and I find like almost I was in my journey as well, like, we're like a heat seeking missile.
[2:00]Trying to find happiness and we're looking and looking and looking and and we're looking for the outside and you know where that comes from.
[2:07]That comes from because when we were born, right from the get go, you have to look out for love to come to you.
[2:18]And if it doesn't come out to you, you're going to die. So we learn to manipulate love to come from the outside towards us.
[2:26]And when the world responds to us in a way we like, we feel, oh, I'm amazing. I'm king or queen of the world, I can have anything I want.
[2:35]But when the world is not reacting to us the way we want, like, maybe mom is exhausted and she doesn't hear you cry and now you start creating stories.
[2:45]So we're constantly trying to change ourselves, so the world will react to us in a way we want.
[2:54]And finding ourselves worth that way, and that does not work. It's it's so important to know that as long as you don't have intimacy with yourself.
[3:05]Meaning like spending time connecting with your heart.
[3:10]And your heart, I can guarantee you, because I work with thousands of people one-on-one. Your heart wants you to know two things. The first thing your heart wants you to know is you're worthy of love.
[3:20]That was part of the work that we did together, because you were seven years old when your mom died. 11. 11. Yeah. So you were 11 years old when your mom died. So, can you see it's like,
[3:30]if love comes from the outside and all of a sudden that source of love is not there anymore, you create stories.
[3:37]So now you have created a story that something is wrong with you. And because mom will never come back, now you stop asking for what you want because I want mom.
[3:49]She's not coming back. So like, this is one example, but we have countless different stories that we created in our life just like that, like when the world is reacting to us the way we like,
[4:00]I can have what I want. If it doesn't, and we're spinning our wheels and we're trying constantly to try to find our compass.
[4:08]And the compass is not on the outside. The compass is inside.
[4:13]And you won't be able to be happy in a relationship until you have that connection with your own heart.
[4:20]Until you're willing to do the work to let go of any story that something is wrong with you because I am convinced that your essence is love.
[4:29]It's who you are. You are love. That's your essence.
[4:33]But what happens is because of the stories, we disconnect from our essence, and then we create emotions, anxiety, fears, guilt, low self-esteem, despair, hopelessness.
[4:46]All of these things happen when at the core of this wound, this bobo, is the illusion that we are unworthy of love. So the good news is you're worthy of love.
[4:56]The good news is if you do the work, it will go away and you will feel so much better, so that when you go home, like if you're really connected inside with your heart, and you know who you are, why you're here, where you're going,
[5:08]If you go with your partner and it feels off, you won't be afraid of facing it. You'll be able to communicate it.
[5:16]And then sometimes we've done the time we were supposed to be with this person.
[5:24]And out of love for each other, it's time to move on because we're not on the same page, it's not good for us anymore.
[5:31]And sometimes it's the opposite. It's like, all right, by communicating, both of us now, we're willing to do something, now we connect again.
[5:39]But you cannot do that work and take that chance of facing what's really going on in the relationship if you don't feel worthy of love, because then it's really scary to face it.
[5:52]So, that's why I created a weekend, a sacred moment called Extreme Freedom.
[5:59]And it's two days where you get to create intimacy with yourself, because you get to know who you are, why are you here, where are you going?
[6:10]Like 99.9% of all the people have no idea of these things. So we keep trying to look for the outside to tell us the answer.
[6:20]And we're so busy, like when you have kids and a career and all the things going to the gym, all the things we do, like, that's why it's important to take time.
[6:30]And I know my extreme freedom weekend is really good, but if it's not that like, you need to spend like maybe two days in a cabin by yourself and journaling and doing the right exercises to, so you can spend time with yourself and discover,
[6:42]who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? So that when you know this, when you have this as a foundation and you go home, and if it feels off with your partner, then you have a place
[6:56]to, you know, contrast it from and then you can learn and then you can see is like maybe we reach the end of our relationship together or now we can go more deeply in love.
[7:07]That was kind of your journey, wasn't it?
[7:10]Mhm. Uh, it was the disconnection was the, uh-oh. Uh, we it's time to fix this.
[7:20]But it wasn't about fixing the other person. It was about working on myself and understanding myself and figuring out who I was without that person.
[7:30]And then understanding, you know, why I made the decisions I had and why I, you know, why I was feeling the way I was feeling.
[7:38]And it was just going within and then getting the guidance, doing things like the heart freedom, uh, the weekend, the extreme freedom weekend. Yeah.
[7:48]And you know, the silent retreat, there's so many tools to help you reconnect with yourself.
[7:54]Yeah, you said something that's very important and profound is that in that place when you're connected inside
[8:06]and you know who you are, then you can have the courage of doing what's right for you when you feel the love that you have, that when you know that you're worthy of love, when you know that you deserve to have it all,
[8:20]and that it doesn't, it's not an addiction anymore.
[8:24]Because if you feel that we are unworthy of love, we cannot even think about letting go of the other person.
[8:32]Because they're there, you know, to numb us, to make us feel better and like it's it's so petrifying to let go of someone if we feel unworthy of love.
[8:42]Like it's like it compounds that, that's why if you don't know right now, if you're in a relationship and it's feels off, like, do the work.
[8:52]Do the work on yourself. No, really get to know who you are, know that you're worthy of love, let go of any stories to the opposite.
[9:00]And as you do this, you're going to feel that foundation, that safety inside of you that then will allow you to be able to honestly look at what's going on.
[9:10]Not from a place of fear or lack, but from a place of abundance and from a place of abundance of love within yourself, then you can make the appropriate decision and you can grow in love.
[9:23]Like, sometimes I have I have this couple that came to see me, uh, one of my clients who's a wedding photographer and this couple from Australia.
[9:33]And, uh, they came for their wedding and the woman was ready to to leave the relationship, and the wedding photographer, uh, told her like, go see Lise. They were on their way to the airport.
[9:44]They came to see me, then they were flying back to Australia, and one hour, one hour of doing their own inner work and doing it together with me, they were in love again.
[9:59]So, like, it's not because you're having a hard time in your relationship and you think it's over, that is actually the truth.
[10:07]Often it's all these fears like just going boom inside of you and that's the clue if you're not feeling comfortable, do your inner work.
[10:14]It'll make you a lot happier. Anything else you want to say?
[10:17]No, no, do the inner work. Do the inner work. Yeah. Cool. So, thank you for being with us and watching another episode of Soulworthy Love where we explore that love is safe and if it's not safe, it's not love.
[10:31]And if you're interested in checking our extreme freedom, we can retreat, um, it's coming up soon.
[10:38]But we have them on a regular basis, check on the link and uh, give yourself two sacred days to spend with yourself and having intimacy with yourself. Bye for now.
