[0:21]What y'all do today?
[0:27]Same old, same old every day, dude. Yeah, summer it's pretty crazy. Where have you been all day, Gabe? Bench research. Sounds terrible, man. Bench research. Man, I almost prefer school to research. What? No way. Do you even remember what first year was like for us? Uh, now that you say it, I don't remember first year at all. I don't remember anything. I actually had a really weird dream about first year last night. Can you recreate that dream? Yeah. But we're going to need an architect. I'm an architect, I can put you all in that dream.
[1:21]Just put it in like a folding.
[1:27]Then you guys sure you want to do this? Why? Because if you fail an exam while you're under, you're going to be stuck in first-year limbo. Forever. Let's do this.
[1:40]Is this still real life? Is this just Med School? Caught by surprise, no escape to reality. Open your books and memorize everything. You'll be a poor boy, and you'll get no sympathy. Because testing comes, testing goes. Grades are low, grades are low. Anyway, I study, doesn't really matter for me. Help me!
[2:35]Donna! Just failed my test. Too much info in my head. Chen's questions I misread. Donna! School has just begun. And now I'll never see the light of day. Donna! Oooooh! Dr. Hubbard made me cry if I don't learn T4 before tomorrow. Trophoblast, Trophoblast, and there's folding at four weeks.
[3:34]Histo, all looks the same. Neutrophil or plasma cell, now that's something I can tell. Help me, anybody. I need to know how to study, so I don't remediate. Donna! Ooooh! I got my first aid. I now just figured out I'll be ok!
[4:44]I see a little cerebellum of a man. Titubate, titubate, he can't even do the tango. Parasites are biting, very, very frightening. Dr. Leonard, Dr. Sherwood, Dr. Bondos, Dr. Dobin. Dr. Ogden, let me go! Sicilio! I'm just a gunner, nobody loves me. He's just a gunner, nobody loves him. Spamming professors incessantly. Immuno, Physio, least it's not Orgo. Vincent van Gogh, Meniere's disease, we know. Vertigo! Scapula! It's winged from stabbing, bro. Stabbing, bro! Neuralgia, must be Tic Douloureux. Learn Neuro! Morula, you know. DiGeorge in Immuno! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Otorrhea, gonorrhea, an exam from head to toe. I drew some blood. Now mom's very, very proud of me. Of me, of meeeeee!
[5:58]You should know River Blindness is caused by a Black Fly! Oh, Rabies, I'm full of Negri bodies! Beyond any doubt, I actually enjoy being here!
[6:49]Grades don't really matter. I know you can't foresee. Grades don't really matter. Patients are what matter to me!
[7:19]That's the way first year goes...
[7:49]Oh. What was that all about? Oh man. That was crazy. That was a really weird dream, man. Yeah. Well, boys. It's been a pleasure.
[8:15]See you later, man. I guess it's time to start second year.
