[0:00]Papa bore ho rahe hain. Tezaab mein munh dho le jaake. Hain? Bore ho rahe ho na? Tezaab mein munh dho le jaake, aa jayegi taazgi ekdam. Nahi sanitizer pi le jaake. Koi apne ladke se aise toh nahi bolta hoga jaise tum bol rahe ho. Main lockdown mein pagal ho chuka hoon. Subah se ladai kar rahe ho Mummy se, gussa bachchon mein nikaal rahe ho, bata rahe ho, pagla gaye ho. Pagla toh gayi hain aur jab kal sair pe nikle the toh lath bhi pade. Haa, pichhwade pe. Woh puchh raha baahar kahaan kaun jagah pade the lath? Ang nahi puchh raha jo khulle aam bataaye de rahe ho pichhwada. Ang hi puchh rahe angad maharaj.
[0:45]Sab tumhare bigaade ladke hain. Dekh lo, prasann ho lo thoda, taazgi aa rahi ki nahi? Chehre pe chamak badhi? Humne shayari bhi bana li. Sunaao. Papa gaye kal baade pe, lath pade pichhwade pe. Kya baat hai wah! Suno! Kitni pyari shayari suna raha ladka. Yahaan wah wah kya baat hai chal raha hai. Maza le lo maza. Arre maza se yaad aaya, aao Ludo khela jaaye. Gitti toh hai nahi, kaise khelenge? Ruko, nach ke batate hain. Ludo Star Game download karo, Facebook se login karo, kisi se bhi online khelo jisme chat karo, emoji bhejo. Aur hum log ko khelna hai toh offline khelo. Ludo Star hamara pyar. Aao khele. Chalo. Padhai toh chal nahi rahi aajkal. Khilwad chal raha hai khali. Kripya aapki suchna ke liye bata de ki kaksha ek se aath tak ke sabhi bachcho ko promote kar diya gaya hai. Woh khel sakte hain. Aur khilwad bhi kar sakte hain. Par agli class ka nahi padh sakte hain. Kitabe hai nahi, hum kya karein? Toh internet se padho. Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Paanch minute agar internet pe game khel lo toh aankhe phoot jaati hain. Ab internet se padhne pe aankhe nahi phootengi. Hypocrisy ki bhi seema hoti hai.
[2:08]Laga li na mask? Ban gaye Spiderman. Maarein denge laath toh miniyana band kar dega. Baat karna seekh jaayega janwar. Janwar baat nahi karte. Dekh rahi ho laundeya ko? Yeh sanskaar hain. Kata kat zubaan chal rahi. Ek Ram the, ek Dashrath the, ek tum ho. Dashrath jaise ban jaaye hum. Nahi tum Shurpankha ban jaao. Nahi toh Dashrath jaise ban jaao na, Dashrath jaise ban jaao. Ram nahi suna hoga Shurpankha ne. Duniya bhar ki nautanki kar raha. Dekh lo. Jab hum nahi kuch bol rahe hain toh kaahe humko baar baar ghasit rahe ho. Chahte ho ke hum ladaayein aake wahan pe. Chahte ho? Hain? Hamaare khopde pe kankar kitkit aa rahe hain. Blast ho jayegi, satyanaash macha denge.
[2:59]Kya hua? Arre gir gaye the. Chalo kam se kam gire toh. Boriyat toh miti. Chalo chhat se phenk de chal ke chalo. Maza aaya ki nahi aaya? Aaya? Arre yaar ek toh lag gayi bahut tez yaar matlab. Inki nautanki nahi khatam ho rahi. School band the tab tak theek tha. Jab se office band hue jeena haraam ho gaya hai. Same pinch. Saala WhatsApp pe dare karte-karte thak jaao koi kaam nahi. Le lo sun lo, khabar suno. Maa aur do bachcho ki hatya kar Papa lockdown tod ke bhaaga. Kaahe? Kaahe? Kaahe? Dekh nahi rahe ho? Aise hi bawaal kar-kar ke saala tadpa diya hoga. Toh maar diya, sahi kiya. Lekin bhaaga kaahe phir? Jaise dono bachcho ko mara. Mummy ko bhi mara hai.
[3:58]Haan haan, sabko maara toh shaanti chahiye thi ab shaanti mil gayi. Ab wahin ghar mein rahe lashon ke saath. Bhaaga kaahe? Aur agar bhaagna hi tha toh mara kaahe? Aise hi bhaag jata bina mare.
[4:12]Murkh tha ekdam. Chappadganju tha ekdam. Aur jo yeh soche usne sahi kiya woh toh mahachappadganju hai. Humko chappadganju bol raha gadha jo ki sabse bada chappadganju hai. Haan theek hai, hum hi hai sabse bade. Keh toh diya baaki mann mein toh hum hi chappadganju honge. Abe jante toh hum kya karein. Zubaan dekh rahi ho tumhi sapaaya hai aatanki. Dekh lo, samjho. Yeh ladka. Aye, kya? Pehle hi bataya tha humari khopdi pe kankar kitkita rahe hain. Eent patthar kachkuch kar rahe hain yahan. Inki alag hi nautanki chalti rehti, eent patthar. Maara kaise?
[5:35]Yeh sab fight vight dekh ke humari toh boriyat mit gayi waise. Humari nahi miti.
