[0:00]Hey, I I have an idea. How about you tell me everything that's on your mind, but in Russian? I won't understand, but maybe it'll help? Okay.
[0:22]I never want to come back here again.
[0:28]I fucking hate it here. And they all fucking hate me.
[0:36]I pay for everything. I make sure everyone has clothes they like. I make sure the food is perfect, that father is buried next to his parents, that the tomb is perfect. And the only fucking word I ever hear is: "I want more, Ilya, I need more, Ilya, more, more, more." And I have nothing for these people.
[1:07]I give them everything... but I feel fucking empty. They don't care. They look at me and they see a bank. Or an enemy. Or- I don't even know what. My brother, he always hated me. And I know why, but... it kills me.
[1:47]And it kills me that he took care of my father and I didn't.
[1:57]But I couldn't. I wasn't here.
[2:04]I still paid for all of it. And he will never forgive me. For any of it. For existing.
[2:15]And it means... I have no one now.
[2:25]Well, not no one. I have... Svetlana.
[2:38]She loves me.
[2:41]And I love her.
[2:44]But not like...
[2:51]Fuck me.
[3:05]But not like I love you.
[3:10]That's the worst fucking part of all this is... that all I want is you. It's always you.
[3:22]I'm so in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it.
[3:36]Okay. I'm done.
