[0:00]Jynxzi and Sketch were supposed to play with us. Unfortunately, that Jynxzi's getting Ddoshed by some rich, handsome, Fortune 500 company owner pull up Sketch here. Let me see here. Let me see. What's going on here? What's going on here? Let me see. What are you guys talking about? What are you guys I was texting people. Just fucking text me. What? What are you saying? Is this Cawkeys he was talking to?
[0:36]Peanut is watching me? Oh my God, that's oh fuck pressure. I didn't know I was going to run out of ammo. Let's see what he's got boys. Let's see what he's got.
[0:49]Die! Come here! Yeah! Cheater! No! Did you see that? Did you see that? He's cooking, he's cooking. Keep rolling. Keep. Oh, damn it. Wait, hold up. You're second. I'm watching you. I'm watching you. Hello, Sketch. How are you today? Yep. Wait, hold up. I'm watching you. How are you on this fine day, Sketch? You're doing great, brother. Would you like to play our Raiders still? How are you on this fine day, Sketch? You're doing great, brother.
[1:26]That would be fantastic. Yes, please! That would be I see you have the very nice toy sir. They Welcome in. How are you on this fine night? I'm doing great, brother. How are you? Very swell. Very swell. I love the microphone. Is that the Walmart Special? It's uh pretty bad from what I hear. Ji-ji was trying to get me to change it out. Is it Is it Is it pretty rough? Oh no, you sound great. You sound great. I would like two Big Macs, sir. Two Big Macs and a large fry and a coke. This isn't a McDonald's, Mike. Sure, damn sounds like it, sir. That's two Big Macs. You get that? I'll give you two Big Macs. Two Big. Sorry for cursing. Now I forgive you. I forgive you. Take your time. Take your time. This is the I feel like I'm playing with Lebron. They do call me the Lebron James of Ark Raiders. They do call me that. You're more like Christopher Columbus. Is that the that's the one that gave all the diseases to the people that killed them all? Well, no, he didn't. that was my accent. That was just a Yeah. Oopsy poopsies. Okay, this is the first time I really spawned over here. I thought the map was a lot larger than this and I had to unlock all of it, so that's why I played a lot. No, no, we got the whole map. We got the We got the whole map right here at our fingertips. No need to worry.
[3:09]Yes, sir. That's what I like to hear, soldier. That's what I like to hear. I will fight and die for the flag. Don't let this flaker haven. You gotta shoot their wings. What are you doing? I told him to shoot their wings. Risky business. Stupid robot, pussy. Oh wait, oh, there's a team right here. Oh my God, team, team, team.
[3:39]What do you do? Where'd he go? He got here, down here.
[3:45]Got him! There's a guy up here. Go, go, go! Go, got him!
[3:54]Oh, he went left. He shot me. He shot me. He shot me. Returning fire. I got him! Who is he? Who is he? This is my kill. I'll stay off the. Do we are killing it. We are cooking. Easy to. Was that two people or was that three? There was three. And. A little bit of light work. Stop picking mess with us. Get out of here. I got a defib. Do you get anything, Sketch? You get anything good? I got a I got two stitchers. Oh! Hey. That's horrible. Let's ride. I was I didn't want I didn't want to steal anyone's loot from killing. I'm I'm trying to keep I I'm usually known for stealing. Ah, no. You're fine, good man. You're Do you get a Bobcat? You're not Even. What's a Bobcat? It's one of your guns. Pink. Oh, there's another team. There's another team. No, I have no. I have no pink guns. Okay, okay, gotcha. Gotcha. I was being fed misinformation. I was being fed misinformation. Guys, guys. Nice from the deep state. By the way, there's a sniper robot out there. Go, go, go. He's coming. Oh, shit. No, no, no, no. They went up top, boys. We'll get a we'll get a bird's eye view. There's a sniper robot out there. Oh, no. Run, Run, Run. They went up top, boys. We'll get a bird's eye view.
[6:10]Sounds good to me. Sounds great. He's here. He's here. I'm telling you. He's right here. We regroup up. We regroup up. You see this plan? They're three big brawlic men right on top of us. We all go at once. That way they can't kill us all. They'll be too busy reloading. That's when we blast them. There's people on front. Oh, there's people on front. There's people on front. No, no. He shot me. He shot me. He shot me. Go, go, go. Charge. Oh, we're dead immediately. Oh my God, what is that? Retreat. Retreat. Roll down. Roll down. Nikola Tesla busted on me. Oh, Jesus, Luise.
[6:54]Oh. Don't run. Oh my God, it's working. Oh my God, it's working. Oh my God, it's working. I got you, I got you. Oh, they're coming. Fucking run. What is my guy doing? What is my guy doing? Is my guy fucking stupid? What is my guy doing? What is my guy doing? Sure. Before you kill me, you must know that anyone that kills me, he got Hades. All right. Sketch, I saw you playing this one. I'm assuming you're familiar with it. Yes, sir. Okay, good, good. You're a fine soldier. I've been doing I've been doing plenty of research. It's just my fingers that fail me. That's okay. That's okay. Most of the people are on right now, it's about 8 p.m. on a Monday. We're going to see a bunch of single dads and a bunch of stupid fucking kids that are about two hours out from their bedtime. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. It's scary hours, it's when it gets a little raunchy.
[8:06]We're in the prime time slot right here, Sketch. Lock and load. Yes, sir. Take loop power. Sketch, we're going up. We're going up. Oh, go upstairs. Up the rope. Up the rope. Up the rope. There's on the other side.
[8:35]He said, sure. Are you sure that's not the smoke from the dead Clegar? There. By the East launch tower. He said, sure. He said, sure. Per chance, per baby. He said, denga. Someone's getting blasted by rocket tiers to the south. We can go take a little peep at that. Oh, they're dying. They're dying. Go, go, go. Oh, fuck, no. They're going in. Oh, they're dying. They're dying. Don't worry, boys. I took out the trash. She should be holing up right here. My mom is not trashy, thank you. They you know, a nice, kind lady with many accolades. Did you know that me and Sketch's mom love each other? Oh, really? Oh, they're mothers. You have mom's now instead of dad's. Well, you told me at the beginning. Are you talking to me or peanut? I I'm not sure. I'm not. There's, there's. Right here. In the in the hot. Oh, Peanut, watch out for the rocketeer. My neighbor needs watch out for the rocketeer.
[9:51]No, it's not. It's aggo the rocketeer. I forgot to grab my open for a real fella. I'm here. I see him. I see him. Run on me. One down. Oh. Oh God. Two down. Two down. Oh my God.
[10:48]I didn't know Sketch was down. Come on in, sir. Come on in, sir. Hey, you want back in action. I to a blinker. The lockers are getting frisky today. You got to stay frosty.
[11:03]Ji-ji. Ji-ji. It's your birthday, so you can have this. Sketch, you take this. One of my most pri prized possessions. Treat her nicely. No way! Thank you, sir. The honor is all mine. Thank you, thank you. That's a that's a double shot pistol. I don't know if you've used it yet. It's highly lethal. Use it well. Get that medium ammo right there and shoot it. Awesome. Awesome. We get a little bit more medium ammo than we wired. That's right. Right behind you. Ever all at the same time. Ready? Three, two. Yes, sir. I don't I'm not sure where Sketch is going. What? Leave no man behind, but you can beat me. Okay. Okay. One. Go. No way they crossed over to the side. We were too quick. I see him. I see him. One shot. One shot. Oh, my goodness. They were sniping me from sniper tower and then this guy. This is the last guy in this room that we need to deal with. Oh, ding dong ding dong. I'm going to go down before you revive his boys, okay? Okay, I'm going down with you. We're going to kill the rest of them. Where did these hooligans go? In the control tower. Oh.
[14:49]Oh my goodness. My shield is broken. Don't you worry, Sketch. I've got you, don't you worry. Thank you, sir. Any time. Any time. I have defib. Oh, I do have defibs. Good. Okay, good. I got you. There's a two guys down there, by the way. Yes, sir. Oh. Sketch. Drop. Go in your inventory and then and you'll see the shield at the top left. You want to quickly grab that. Drag it to the left. Yes, sir. Mhm. Right there. It's right here. Oh, you're perfect. They I I good enough. Okay. you're talking about this. You're talking about this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you, sir. Now I'll give this back in just a second. Don't you worry. No, I I I believe in you. For Jin-ji. Let's ride. Charge! I'm right behind you, sir. Oh, wait. One second. I went too far. One second. Yes, sir. I see him. I see him. He's right here on me. LeBron James! Oh, shit. Wait. LeBron James! Oh, fuck my ass. One shot. One shot. He's coming. He's coming down on me. He's coming down on me. One just died. One just died. Oh, there's one right on me. Oh my God. And I'm dead. No way. No way this Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
[24:14]Sir, sir, get AIDS, then die in the game, of course, in the game, of course, in the game, of course. The The pause in the beginning, is that y'all looking at the map? Uh no. No. That's just unhiding the screen. Something that we tried to do it before, we're halfway through the game. Wait, do you do that on a Oh, you don't have a Steam Deck? No, that was that that was just a singer. No, I do have a Steam Deck. I do have a Steam Deck. Okay, I played little intros before every game. I don't know if you know that. They're like little Whozy Doozies. Oh, I do. You have the best ones I have ever seen. My man. My man. I just have a little name sometimes.
