The number one quality of a good facilitator

[0:00]Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to other people is just to listen. Yeah. Exactly, because they feel heard. But the it's interesting to listen and to not get entrapped in their mind. To listen, but to let it go. But to hear them. But not just buy it, but hear it. Not to get caught up in there. I often say, "I hear you." Sometimes that frustrates people because they don't want to just be heard, they want to be reacted to. They want to entangle you. They want to entangle you. There was a great lady that came to visit me. She was a seamstress and she came in with this tale of pity about how her husband had left her. And she'd worked her fingers to the bone. She showed me to take care of these girls. And now this girl had turned bad and it took her about 10 minutes to tell me. And I listened as hard as I could. And when she got all done, I said, "I hear you." She wasn't satisfied and she told me the whole story all over again. And when she got all done, I said, "I hear you." And at that moment, I was just looking at her and she said, "You know," she said, "I was kind of a hellion when I was a girl too." And at that moment, she came up for air. I heard her, but I didn't climb in. Because she had sucked everybody. "Oh, you poor dear. Oh my. Oh," you know, that whole thing. And it's so important I think if for people to hear themselves as they tell their stories is how they grow. And then you become a mirror for them to see their own trip. And if they want to see it, they can. And if they don't, that's up to them. I realize you morally have no right to take away another human being's suffering. That's a big one. That is a big one. I know it. I know it. Especially if they're family and you love them. You want to take away their suffering. And that is the quickest way to alienate them, to create more paranoia. Because you don't even know why they're suffering. You don't understand.