Do the easy stuff

[0:10]I think there's a thing inside every one of us that makes certain stuff in our life easy. And it's like for me, personally, before all this YouTube stuff, modding stuff, everything felt like entirely impossible. That I was picking up like new sports, new habits and everything was hard. And eventually hard enough for me to quit. And now I have this like apprenticeship. Like let me clarify something because a lot of you might actually not know that, but I'm studying at university to become a teacher. And I'm there with two other dudes, and to be honest, it's like these two guys are fucking mogging me. When it comes to the stuff that I think that I should have known by now. And it's like I don't want to say too much, but it's like these two guys have much more experience than me. So it's kind of like I get it why they are better. But to be honest, it really impresses me what they can actually do. And for me personally, it feels like I've wasted a lot of time doing the wrong stuff as well as doing pretty much nothing. I think it's like the first realization about the passing of time just hit me. And especially it hit me today, like we have to lead classes of children and to me, it's really hard that I'm always so stressed. Well, to these two guys it's like easy. Well, as I said, they have the experience. But it's really like inspiring to watch them do the job and especially since they do it so well. And to be honest, they do it so well, but I just feel useless most of the time there. And it literally made me realize that there are levels to this shit. And I thought that I was charismatic all my life, like charismatic enough at least. But right now, I'm realizing that I don't have any fucking charisma compared to these guys. And listen, I get that comparison is thief of joy or whatever, but it's like you just can't not compare yourself when it comes to things like this. And to be honest, despite it being like inspiring and really cool in my opinion, it made me think like, maybe I'm just not fit for the job. Which makes me realize that maybe I actually wasted even more time bending at uni, learning this stuff. It's like literally everything that I learned, like the theories and whatnot, it all just comes out the fucking window when it comes to doing the job. And I don't know, to be honest, despite that I wasted so much time, or at least I think I did, I still don't feel keen to actually do this stuff anyway. I still don't feel like learning new things. First, I thought that it would give me like initiative to actually do these things. But I just feel like defeated and not enough to be honest rather than action ready. And I don't know, it's not that they are like mean to me or whatever. In fact, I thought that they would be mean, but they're actually nice to me. And it's not like they mug on purpose or whatever. It's just my own brain playing tricks on me again. But this time to be honest, it's really winning. Like for the past two days, I've been really stressed about this whole thing, as well as thinking whether the job is for me. I really want to be a teacher, but I think I should take a lesson on something else. I don't know, maybe go fucking like charisma curse or something, because again, when I compare myself, I just feel like I'm not charismatic at all. Like I'm this awkward guy just standing there and everyone asks like, who the fuck is this? So to be honest, guys, I'm really having a crisis right now. But then I remind myself about the easy stuff, about the stuff that I'm doing on daily basis. Well, almost daily basis, but it's still a part of me and it's still something that I do. And I remind myself that maybe to them, it would actually be impressive to know that I have YouTube channel. Well, let's be honest, it wouldn't, like people don't really care about, like if they're not doing it, then it's like worthless to them. But other than that, I think that this like thinking about the YouTube and whatnot, it's just like a mechanism for me to not feel worthless like entirely. But yeah, I kind of got derailed here. When it comes to doing the easy stuff, or rather teaching comes easy to them, but for me, there just different stuff comes easy. And for you as a viewer, I think there are plenty of stuff that are actually easy to do. You might have overlooked them for a very long time. I just think that I don't want to fight the tide anymore, and I just want to focus on the stuff that comes easy to me. And whenever something is easy, it doesn't mean that it's not worth your time. And I think the true challenge is knowing that it actually is worth your time. Because let's say drawing comes easy to you and just because it's easy, doesn't mean that you should just stop drawing. I think whatever comes easy should actually be the passion that we long for for our entire lives. And I just think that I shouldn't do the hard stuff anymore. I shouldn't focus on doing the hard stuff to like, I don't know, maybe even impress someone. I should just do whatever comes easy to me. And I don't mean do the easy stuff that is easy for everyone to do the easy stuff that is easy for you. So to be honest, I don't know, I kind of want to drop out and just not bother with all this university stuff anymore. Because all it did throughout like past two years has give me massive stresses. And yeah, I kind of built more of my character, but it's like I don't know where I would have been without it anyway. And maybe I even would have been like much better place right now, if I didn't focus on my studies. But I don't know, like I started it, so I just want to finish it. Because you know, it's like having a degree in modern day is like playing the long game. But that's just a topic for another video that I actually wanted to talk about as well. But for now, this video is long enough anyway, so have a nice day of doing the easy stuff.