MAGICAL Pill For You!

[0:00]You are offered to pick one of the four magical pills. The blue pill makes you automatically charmable when it comes to getting discounts, easily haggling down prices, such as going to a dealership and arguing you should get a lower price, and also makes you maintain a high credit score and have no issue getting approved for bank loan.

[0:14]The yellow pill makes you immune from being arrested or caught committing crimes. So if you steal 2k from a bank, nobody will find out you did it and you'll walk away Scott free with the money.

[0:24]However, this doesn't apply to violent felony crimes, arson, or murder. The yellow pill also makes you immune to dental issues and all medical conditions that can make you bold.

[0:32]The purple pill makes you immune to STDs, STIs, acne, sunburn, all cancers, smoking and alcohol related illnesses, and Covid. You also gain full language fluency in English, French, Spanish, Cantonese, Thai, Hindi, Finnish, Tagalog, Arabic, German, Korean, Russian and Polish.

[0:46]This includes speaking, writing, reading, slang and internet culture, memes, and if they have one, their national sign language dialect, ASL and BSL for English.

[0:54]The red pill doubles your height, doubles your running speed, and makes you appear more attractive to the genders you are attracted to.