[0:07]For me, it's started with a song. My parents are the heart of both my good and bad memories of my childhood. But before I tell you about them, I want to make it clear from the start that I don't blame my parents. I blame the culture they are tied to. My best memory of my dad is me and him singing a rap song by Nas, an American hip hop artist. Big boys and girls, listen, you can be anything in the world. An architect, a doctor, or maybe an actress, nothing comes easy, it takes much practice. I know I can be what I want to be. If I work harder at it, I'll be what I want to be, be, be.
[0:57]Because I lived with my family in South Sudan, and conflict was all around us. So my parents decided to take us to Uganda and put us in school. It was me, my mom and dad, my brother and sister, and my two beautiful cousins. Because I was at a boarding school that was more than a day's drive away, every single time I spent with my family was precious to me. And when I returned to school, I carried those encouraging words with me. You can be anything in the world. I knew my parents were sacrificing a lot to send me to school, so I worked really hard. Remembering nothing comes easy. It takes much practice. In 2008, when I was 15 years old, I went home to South Sudan for Christmas. Home was wonderful. I met a boy at a cultural dance and I was enjoying life as a teenager. I never imagined that my path in life would be anything other than hard work and school, leading to the career of my choice. I wanted to become a lawyer. I always wanted to fight for the rights of women. The festive season were full of family gatherings and cultural dances. But in January, when everybody was going back to school, I realized no one was asking me for my shopping list. And by February, I knew something was wrong. I was months late for school. So, I walked up to my dad and asked him when I was going back to school. He told me, I wasn't going back to school. I was getting married. And for a minute, I felt like I didn't know my dad anymore. But I went ahead and asked him whom I was getting married to. He told me someone I always knew as an uncle. Never, I said to myself, I would rather die. My uncle was 56 years old and my parents were ready to give out their daughter at the age of 15 to get married to a man much older than her. against her will. That might be their culture, but not mine.
[3:20]The next time I went to my dad and asked him about my education, he insisted that I had to get married. He said it is our culture. That made me very furious. He even said my little sister had to go through the same. My mom had left for Uganda some weeks before to take my brother to school. I felt so alone. My dad told me, he gave me an option. He said, if you don't want to get married, you'll have to go to Uganda and stay with your mom. I said, fine, that is better than getting married. The next day, me and my cousins were packed and ready to move. Surprises hadn't ended for me. The person who was supposed to take us to Uganda was my so-called uncle. We hopped in the car and drove. By nightfall, we arrived at a town bordering with Uganda. My uncle booked two rooms where we were supposed to stay. At the lobby, I saw my mom. I was so excited and relieved. But my mom couldn't look at me. She and my uncle went to one room, well me and my cousin went to the other. The next thing I heard was the door of the other room open, and I saw my mother leaving. My uncle called me in the other room. He told me, your mother has said, I can do anything I want with you and I will. The next thing I heard was a hit of a gun at the back of my head. The monster stripped me and assaulted me. I endured this for three days. I was not even allowed to go to the toilet. A bucket was all I was given. After three days, I was desperate for it to stop. So I told him I had accepted, but deep down in my heart I knew I had accepted nothing. The next day, my uncle accepted me and my cousin to go to the shop. So we went to the supermarket across the road. Surprisingly, the owner of the supermarket was an old friend of my mother's. She was shocked when I told her everything. She spoke to me, encouraged me. She asked me to be strong for myself. When I went back to the hotel, I talked to my uncle to let my cousin go back to Uganda and join school. He accepted. But before my cousin left, I talked to her. I told her, no matter what happens, don't stop on the road. Make sure you get your way back home. Because I knew I was about to do something unexpected. My cousin left for Uganda. The next day, I went to the same supermarket, and my mother's friend told me she had found a place for me to hide, the hair salon across the road.
[6:42]That kind lady hit me for a month. And one time, she lent me her phone and I called the boy I told you about. The one I met at the dance. He sent me money, and I escaped from South Sudan. I crossed the border into Uganda. I made my way straight home and surprisingly, I found both my parents there. My dad took me to the police station claiming I had run away from school. in South Sudan. Luckily, in the pocket of my court, I carried my school report. I showed the police officer who recognized the school. He talked to my parents, and he told them to take me back to school. But my parents kept on trying to take me forcefully back to South Sudan. They even had me locked up in a police cell.
[7:42]Thankfully, a kind policeman intervened and refused my parents to take me back to South Sudan. I was taken to a children's home, a street kids home in Uganda. At that moment, I felt lucky. It was better than getting married. An American lady who visited the home, asked me what I was doing there. I told her my story, she was touched. She had to go back to the United States. But before she left, she found a wonderful man named Jonathan, who agreed to take me in and became my family. I went back to school and I felt blessed in my new home. After four years of schooling, I graduated from high school. And I felt like I still missed my family. I wanted to make peace with them. So I called up my dad. I told him I was tired of living like someone who has been cut from the family. So we agreed to meet. Meeting home didn't feel safe. So we agreed to meet in a large shopping mall in Kampala. When I approached the spot where we had agreed to meet, I was so horrified to see my so-called uncle with my dad. And at that moment, I knew I was not safe anymore in Uganda. I loved Jonathan very much, but I couldn't go back because I knew what my parents are capable of. Now that they knew where I am, they could try to find me and I didn't want to put Jonathan and his family in danger. So I decided to come to Kenya. I had heard of Kakuma Refugee Camp. It took me two days to get here by bus. I was so relieved to be registered and given a home, and my new life began. I now live and work in Kakuma Refugee Camp. I'm doing the kind of job I always wanted to do. Helping women and girls. I lead a team of women who mentor young girls. We offer a safe space for them to discuss issues that affect their lives. Every person is born free and equal. It is our culture that imposes the belief that women are inferior. You see, my mom did not do what she did because she didn't love me, or because she was a bad person. No, she did it because of the culture. A culture that oppresses women and forces them to leave their education and get married at a young age. And all too often, girls that are married off, don't resist because they are scared of being rejected and losing contact with their families. And all too often, it is women, women like my mother, who pressure their daughters into following such traditions. So, how do we break this cycle? We can start it right here in this Refugee Camp. I have started it with me. I have seen remarkable changes. More and more girls are attending high school, and parents are helping them pursue their ambitions. Mothers, fathers, daughters, are all learning that domestic violence and child marriage need to be stripped out of our culture. We need to empower women. For if we empower women, we defeat poverty and defeat violence. And if we want to empower and protect women, we need to involve men. It is our joint responsibility to challenge traditions that say young girls can be married off as child brides.
[12:18]And in the safety of this camp, we have a unique opportunity to do so. I believe that such traditions should not and will not follow us here and out of here. I have been given such an opportunity and I am determined to take it. I'm in love with a good man who shares my convictions and is supportive of everything I do.
[12:57]Thank you for being my partner and my best friend. And today, still, I'm privileged to have the man who took care of me, Daddy Jonathan.
[13:14]Thank you so much, Dad, for everything you've done for me. I appreciate. We plan on raising our little Jonathan to respect all women as equals. Alongside my work fighting for women, I'm also pursuing my dream as a singer. I want my music to bring hope and joy. I wrote this song for my beautiful baby Jonathan and my best friend, Deng. I love you. You make me feel like no one else. So I don't talk to you, so I'm not close to you. I love you, you make me feel like no one else. I know I can be what I want to be. If I work harder at it, I'll be where I want to be. Thank you.
