[0:07]The relationship between a therapist and a client can be incredibly deep. It can involve a lot of attachment. There can be a lot of disclosures from the client to the therapist, you know, the client is telling the therapist things they wouldn't tell anybody else. The corrective emotional experience that the therapist provides for the client can feel like the the can feel like a family relationship. And if a client has never had a positive relationship, trusting relationship, trustworthy relationship before in their life, then this relationship that that they have with the therapist can be perhaps empirically the best relationship they've ever had in their life. Now not all therapeutic relationships are like this, it really depends on the presenting problem, the style of the therapist, you know, what what the client wants, how many sessions there have been. But for a percentage of therapeutic experiences, there develops a very deep relationship between therapist and client. And for most therapists, they understand this and actually encourage it. For some therapists, they don't really operate that way. Now, whenever I talk about this, there will be people inevitably that will say something like, whoa whoa whoa, you know, isn't that creating too much dependence between the therapist and the client? And yes, dependency is something to monitor, but for things to heal, there needs to be a certain level of intensity. For the client to be uh truly benefited by the relationship between the client and therapist, the the the relationship has to be, you know, deep and intense. Now, this doesn't mean that the therapist is telling the client all their deepest and darkest secrets, but the energy relationship energy between the vibe between the client therapist, to both people is often described as as quite meaningful and and quite uh deep. Some relationships can last for many years, if not decades. I've had clients that I've worked with, you know, uh every week for years and years, 15 years plus. And, you know, inevitably, you're going to have a pretty deep relationship. And and wise therapists understand that. And the thing is, is that all therapeutic relationships come to an end at some point. Now, sometimes the therapist just dies and that's how the that's how the relationship ends, but the vast majority of the time, the relationship is formally ended or or you just sort of drift away. Some clients will fail to make an appointment or they'll, you know, they'll they'll cancel the last minute, say they're sick and then they just won't make another appointment and that's kind of how things end between client and therapist, you know, the client is just thinking like, I don't I don't know, I'm kind of on the fence about therapy. I've been going for a couple years. I kind of feel like I'm done and the client doesn't really know that they can talk with their client about that, so they just sort of drift away.
[3:48]A lot of clients do that and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But other times, there's an opportunity for an intentional good-bye between therapist and client where the, you know, you have a session or a series of sessions in which the purpose is for the client and the therapist to say good-bye and to what we call terminate the relationship. Well, today that's what I want to talk about. This is the psychology and Seattle podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kirk Honda. I'm a licensed therapist and a professor. I want to read an email, a really wonderful email from a patron about this. She says, hey Kirk, greetings from Australia. Can you talk about how to end a therapeutic relationship? In about a month, I am going to have my last ever session with my current therapist, who I have been working with on and off for nearly three years. I will be too old to qualify for the service, and both of us also feel that I am at a point now where I have really worked through a lot of my issues and now is a great time for me to see how I will go on my own for a bit. It is a very exciting time for me because I can reflect on how far I have come over the last few years, but at the same time, I also feel quite sad that our relationship is coming to an end. The whole experience of therapy has been life-changing for me. As a child, my parents were never really emotionally there for me and were often highly rejecting and critical of me whenever I reached out to them. Since understanding this and with the help of my therapist, I have come to I have overcome recurrent depression, sorry, I'll just read that again. Since understanding this and with the help of my therapist, I have overcome recurrent depression and suicidal thoughts. I've learned to be able to distance myself from myself criticism and have been able to establish a really loving and supportive relationship with a partner who is kind, caring, and everything you could want in a partner. My therapist was the first older adult to ever validate my emotions and experiences and the first person to ever bear witness to the difficulties of my childhood. He really supported me and always believed the best in me, even when I could not see anything worthy in myself. We got on really well, and always were able to have a laugh at ourselves even when the topics in therapy got really intense. I would say that he has been by far the biggest positive influence on my life during my years of early adulthood. It was the closest thing I ever felt to having a home, where someone listened to me and someone heard me. It has been a very special relationship for me that I have treasured, but now I feel at a loss at how to express this in our last meeting. Is it normal to feel such strong emotions of positivity toward your therapist? Is it normal to feel gratitude and also a sense of sadness during and in the lead-up to the final session? I would like to express these feelings to my therapist, but I'm worried that I will sound crazy. I would be really fascinated by your thoughts on what some of the common feelings and experiences are for both client and therapist during the end of therapy and what usually happens in the final session. Is it normal to cry? Tears and thank you for your amazing balls podcast. All right, me. First off, I just want to say that this is a beautiful email patron.
[7:26]As a therapist myself, I can really appreciate the hard work you've done in therapy. Given your family of origin history, you must have had to overcome major obstacles to get to where you are today. All the transferences, all of the other defenses, the projective identifications, the displacements, all of those things presented barriers to you working hard in therapy and developing that relationship with your therapist, and you overcame all of them clearly, so kudos to you. And kudos to your therapist. He sounds like a great guy and he sounds like a very good therapist. I commend all of his hard work. I commend all of his efforts to provide you with a stable relationship, all of his efforts to make sure that you really trusted him, and all of his dedication to you as a client. This is what therapy is all about, and your email reminds me of the beauty of therapy when it's going well. Secondly, yes, it's normal to feel strong emotions toward your therapist. It means that the therapy is working. Without that bond, your childhood wounds would not have been given a chance to heal. You would not have had a deep enough relationship or a deep enough attachment to provide you with a truly healing experience. Thirdly, I recommend that you tell your therapist how you feel. Most therapists, most wise therapists are used to having intense conversations, so feel free to tell him whatever you want. And I suspect he's one of the good ones who will be able to handle and capitalize on a conversation like that. So I recommend that you have that conversation. Your gratitude might be really helpful for him. It's not often that a client, you know, really thanks us. Plus, life's too short to not share gratitude and warmth with people. I have on my I call it my wall of narcissism. It's my wall in my office right behind me here and it has various different framed certificates and pictures that really, uh, I don't know, show my life's work in a form that can be put into a frame. And so I have my diplomas and I have uh pictures of me and my colleagues. I have different awards that I've won, and but and I have I also have like some banned some bread knife incident stuff. But the most important thing on that wall is a few of different letters that clients have written to me or students have written to me or supervisees have written to me. I think there's I think I have like a letter from a supervisee, a letter from a student and a couple of letters from clients. And I took their name out of the letter and then I framed them and put them on my wall. And it, you know, in this, these letters that are just handwritten, it just talked, they they they thank me for my work with them over, you know, a number of years. And those letters are more important to me than any diploma or any award because that's why I got into this business and so if you have an opportunity to thank your therapist then and you feel motivated to to do so, then there's there's so much benefit not only I think to yourself, but I think obviously for your therapist. Like I said, even though you might think therapists get thanked a lot, we actually don't get thanked very often. Um, you know, it because because therapeutic work is not about the therapist feelings, it's about the client's feelings. And so, by that nature, it's not really set up for the client to take care of the therapist, which is, which is good. And so that's just the way it's it's supposed to be. But if you feel compelled in the final session then by all means, go for it. Fourthly, yes, it's totally normal to cry. But many clients will avoid it because they're not ready to be that vulnerable, but if you feel comfortable, go for it. I often see reaction, I think I've talked about this before on the podcast. Clients will sit on my couch and will cry and then they'll apologize to me and I just think you know, this and I tell them, no, this is what therapy is all about. By all means, cry away. If you if you cried every session from beginning to end, you know, that's good work. So, go for it, you know, because but in our culture, we're taught, we're supposed to not cry in front of people or we're not supposed to burden people or it's it looks ugly or something and no, if if you if your body needs to cry then then don't hold that in. It's like holding in a fart or something, you know, that just can't be good for you. Fifthly, you might want to have an an intense good-bye uh session in the second to last session so you can have a more relaxed final session. This isn't a big recommendation, but sometimes it's nice to have your intensity and your crying and your grieving and your, you know, intense moment in the second to last session and then your final session, it's just more of a more relaxed. But, you know, it it, you know, um, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore.
[13:41]Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email. And this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session. We both laughed at how sentimental we we both are. It was great for me to realize how much he genuinely cared about me, and I think it was a great experience for him to realize how much she'd helped me over the last few years. He ended his letter to me telling me that he hopes that I pursue my dreams of becoming a psychologist and that he thinks I would be a superb therapist. This really meant a lot to me and has given me a little extra confidence in moving forward. Anyway, thank you for your encouragement. It really motivated me to be as open and honest as I could be in the in that final session, which turned out to be such a rewarding and memorable experience. End quote. Okay. So, what lesson can be learned from this patron's experience? If people can be trusted with it, be vulnerable and caring with them, whether it's your therapist or not. Not only does this make other people feel good, but it makes us feel good for expressing it and having it received well. Vulnerability. This is one of those things that as I'm saying it, I I think it sounds trite, but I think it's true is vulnerability is the key to happiness and the key to meaning. Vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerability is the key to meaning. Now, having said all this, some of you might be thinking, my therapy didn't end like that. We just sort of drifted apart, and my relationship wasn't that great. Yes, that can happen. Some therapeutic relationships are not as good as others. This patron and her therapist were clearly a good fit, which brings me to the second lesson we can learn from this. If you don't have a good fit with your therapist, maybe try a few other therapists. Particularly if you're just starting out with a therapist. If you don't feel that fit, definitely try out a few others. As you can see, when you have a good fit, the relationship can the relationship can be highly transformative and beneficial. It's sort of like dating or like trying to find a friend. What's what's the chance that just some random person is a good fit for you to date or what's the chance that a random person is just a good fit for you to be a good friend. It's the same with therapeutic relationships. You have to shop around, you have to date around for a while before you find the right one. Now, you might find the right one your first try, which is, you know, totally possible, but if it doesn't feel like a good fit, then you know, uh, it's it's sort of being forced on you because, uh, as you said, you don't qualify for the service anymore. But you also said that you think that you're ready to move on, but it it seems like it's probably prompted by the uh, you're too old for the service. Which I'm not quite sure what that means, but I I imagine you're too old for some benefit that is available to people in Australia or maybe at an organization like a university or something, I don't know. But anyway, you're you're going to feel the grief and take care of yourself on that. And, you know, five years from now, you might feel, uh, you might go through other grief processes. So, it takes a long time and other people aren't necessarily going to understand it. And so, I don't know exactly what to tell you, but just, you know, tend to your grief as best you can. And and don't expect other people to understand it because our society is weird. Okay, so I said in a nutshell, those thanks to her in an email, and this is what the patron replied with. She said, I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me to express my feelings so openly and honestly with my therapist. I decided to let him know about how much our work together meant to me, and it turned out he also felt very similar to me. In fact, we both had prepared thank you letters to each other before the session.
