[0:07]Hi. So sorry to bother you. I'm with Animal Control. I received a few calls about a dog running around the neighborhood, and I just picked them up. You no, no, of course not. I know you don't have a dog.
[0:29]No, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. Of course, I don't know that. You might have a dog or not, or for all I know, you could be a cat person? Or maybe you like birds, lizards? Mind giving me a heads up if you've got a tarantula or hissing cockroach that's going to pop out at me? Animal Control doesn't usually cover insects. I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. All I mean to say is that I'm not here about your dog, hypothetical or otherwise. I didn't mean to ramble like that. Anyway, one of your neighbors mentioned that you and a friend walk their dog at the local park, and they thought this one looked familiar. They didn't have your friend's name or contact information, and the poor thing is missing his collar, so they suggested I ask you. Oh, I see. They're on a work trip? And they can't usually take calls since they're in another time zone. I see. Well, that's unfortunate. I mean, I'd hate to bother them if the dog isn't even theirs. Actually, now that I think of it, if you walk at the park together, do you think you would recognize him? Would you mind checking? If you do, you might be able to help me calm him down, too. He's pretty unsettled. Oh, you've been watching him while your friend is out of town? Well, that's perfect. If it is him, would you be able to help me get him back inside? I'd hate for the poor thing to spend time away from home if he doesn't have to. Yes, I've just got him in a crate in the back of the van. I was about to head to the shelter when your neighbor stopped me.
[2:42]Thank you so much. Really, I appreciate it. Here, let me open the door. Yes, the crate is in the back there. I draped a few blankets over it to make it nice and dark to try to keep him calm. He was a bit panicked when I picked him up. Yes, sorry, there's a few things out of order. I'd pull the crate back here, but I don't want to startle him. Do you mind just climbing inside? I'm terribly sorry for the mess. No, no, of course I'm not planning anything crazy. Been listening to too many true crime podcasts lately?
[3:32]Oh, please. If I were going to do something horrible, do you really think a big white van is the way to go? Talk about cliche.
[3:44]Okay, you've got a point there. Now that I think about it, this dog probably thinks he's been kidnapped. I guess that explains why he's been freaking out so much. Poor thing must watch too many horror movies. Let's see if we can get him calmed down, yeah? Look, I promise, the only thing I care about is making sure such a sweet puppy gets home safely. Thank you. Now, here, I'll just follow you up and move one of the blankets off the crate. If he isn't your friend's dog and he doesn't recognize you, I wouldn't want you to get bitten if he's still anxious. You don't hear anything? Well, yeah, he was whimpering and growling before, but maybe he's calmed down or fallen asleep. No, don't worry about it. I'll just go ahead and grab Why am I shutting the door? Oh, well, you know, it's just so bright. I don't want to spook our puppy, and I can't have them getting away.
[5:03]I guess it's no use pretending anymore. You really should have trusted your instincts. The van might be a little cliche, but I suppose there's a reason it works. And it can't hurt if there's a cute puppy painted on the side. You have no idea how long I spent trying to come up with that. Animal Control. I almost can't believe it worked. I mean, the logo looks nice and official, but still. No, no, hush, pet. Pleading isn't going to do a thing, despite how cute it is. There's no point in fighting this. You have nowhere to go. I'm between you and the door, and I'm not going to let you get away. Just come here. No, no, stop fighting me. Hold still. I don't want this needle to break. There we go. There we go. I'm sorry, pet. I know that stings. But don't worry, it's going to be okay. I've got you. You're going to be okay.
[6:42]No, no. Of course I'm not going to hurt you. Please don't cry, pet. You don't have to worry. It was nothing bad, I promise. Just a mild paralytic and something to help you relax. Standard procedure for dealing with agitated pets. I can't risk you hurting yourself or trying to get away. I just need to get you home safely.
[7:20]Hey, do not try to bite me. I have to cover your mouth so we don't draw attention. I can't let anyone hear you.
[7:33]I'm just going to hold you like this until those drugs kick in. You don't need to panic. I've got you. You're okay.
[7:48]There you go. Just relax into my arms. Yes, just like that. Oh, good, pet. Just like that. Sink into me. You can lean your head on my chest. I've got you. Just breathe. You're doing so well. Take some deep breaths for me.
[8:25]Don't try to talk, pet. You're slurring your words. I can't understand a thing you're saying. There you go.
[8:39]Good puppy. Just relax.
[8:46]Oh, sweet thing, you don't need to whimper. It's all right. You're safe. You're safe. I promise. Let me wipe those tears. There's no need to cry.
[9:09]Oh, just look at you. You're so perfect. Finally relaxing.
[9:19]It looks like that drug has kicked in enough. I should get you settled. But I just want to hold you for a little longer.
[9:30]I can't believe I have you in my arms. I can't believe I'm finally holding you like this. You're being so good for me. I want to run my fingers through your hair and squeeze you even tighter. I've dreamed about it for so long. I've waited and watched for so long. My perfect pet, my sweet, sweet puppy. You're finally mine.
[10:10]You know, I used to watch you at the park. I loved the way you would light up when your friend got there with their dog. They were always so tired and just wanted a break. And you would volunteer to run around and play with him until you were both so exhausted, you collapsed in the grass together. When they left on their trip, I just knew they'd ask you to check in on their dog. You take on so much unnecessary responsibility, pet. I'm sorry if I worried you, making you think he'd gotten out. I promise I checked on him before coming to get you. Your friend made sure his automatic food and water dispensers were full before they left. And you know he has his run of the house and backyard. They just wanted you to pop in to make sure he doesn't get lonely. But did your friend ever consider that maybe it was you they should worry about? That you were the one who would be lonely without them around? They don't deserve you. They neglect you at every turn between their job and their partner, you're always just an afterthought. You only cross their mind when they need a favor. You don't deserve that.
[11:54]I know you accidentally fell asleep on their couch last night, just cuddling with that dog.
[12:03]I was there, watching you all night. It hurts so much to see you so lonely. You hide it so well, but I know it's only because you keep yourself so busy. I see you at the end of the day once you get home to your empty apartment. You play music, turn on the TV, anything to stave off the silence, but it's still never enough. I've wanted to help for so long, every night watching you crawl into bed, watching you hold a pillow to your chest or bury yourself in a nest of blankets, all to simulate someone there, someone to hold, or someone to hold you. Every night it's been torture. It breaks my heart. But as much as it hurts to see, I could never look away from you. I could never ignore you, especially not when you're hurting. I'm sorry it took me so long to intercede, but don't worry, pet, you're never going to have to sleep alone again. I will always be here to hold and cuddle you. You have such a sweet, playful spirit. You deserve love and attention, and I am going to give it all to you. I am going to take such good care of you. You can sleep in my bed. I'll feed you the best meals, and we can play all the time. You will never have to feel lonely, because I will always be here with you. And I just know that you're going to be a good pet for me. My sweet puppy.
[14:21]There we are. Your breathing has slowed down and you're finally completely relaxed. Now, all that's left is to get you home. I've got everything to keep you nice and cozy and safe. I've got some rope here. No, no, don't get worked up. This is just until I get you home, and I'll set up in your new kennel. You don't need to worry about a thing, pet. This isn't going to hurt, and it's only until we get home.
[15:02]Here we are. Just let me tie your wrists together. Just like that. Thank you for holding so still. I mean, I know the paralytic is doing its job, but I know if you had the choice, you'd behave. Such a good pet.
[15:26]And now your ankles. Can't have my new puppy panicking and trying to go anywhere. Oh, and I can't wait to start training you. I can already see we'll have to work on a few bad habits. Can't have you trying to bite me again. But right now, I just need to keep you nice and quiet. Just keep holding still for me while I put this muzzle in place. Oh, look at you. Already so good and obedient for me.
[16:05]There, and you look so cute. I knew this muzzle would fit perfectly. I know it might be a little uncomfortable, but I can't have you screaming. Now you can only whimper, and you sound just like the sweet, scared puppy that you are. But you don't need to be scared, pet. I promise, everything is going to be all right. I'm going to lay you in your carrier now. Don't worry, the drive isn't too long. See how cozy it is? I've left a few of my jackets inside so that it's nice and soft for you, and you can start getting used to my scent.
[17:01]It's okay. It's all going to be okay. We'll be home soon, and you'll understand. Everything is going to be perfect. I'm going to climb up front now, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm still right here with you.
[17:26]Go ahead and go to sleep, puppy. I know the rest of the medication should be kicking in. When you wake up, we'll be home. We'll be home where we are meant to be. You'll be comfortable and safe and loved forever and ever and ever.
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