[0:01]We, hey, the curse is broken. I called everybody I know and everyone is alive.
[0:09]Huh. What? Ugly naked guy looks awfully still.
[0:19]Oh my God, I killed him. I killed another one. And this curse is getting stronger, too, to bring down something that big. Well, maybe he's just taking a nap. I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning. I think we should call somebody. And tell them what, that the naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving? Well, we've got to find out if he is alive. Yeah, but how are we going to do that? There's no way. Well, there is one way. His window's open. I say we poke him. Remember, something this big and long is going to be very difficult to maneuver. Fortunately, I have a lot of experience in that area. Can we please focus here? A naked man's life hangs in the balance. I'm telling you, he's dead. What we're about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick. All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke. Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful the angle. Okay, okay. We're approaching the window.
[1:24]Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
[1:32]He's alive! He's alive! And yet we're still poking him. Okay, retract the device! Retract the device! He does not look happy. Hey, hey. Now he's showing us his poking device. And that's never going to make it all the way over here, buddy. Uh, Eric, what kind of photography do you do? Uh, mostly fashion. So there may be models here from time to time. I hope that's cool.
[2:04]Yes, that is cool. Uh, because I have models here, you know, never. What else? Ooh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use, by the way. Although I should probably tell you, she's a porn star.
[2:26]Well, listen, I, uh, still have one more person to, uh, meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think your chances are pretty good. All right.
[2:41]Who are you? Hi, I'm Eric. I'm going to be Chandler's new roommate. I'm Chandler's new roommate. I don't think so. I could be Chandler's new roommate. But he told me over the phone. He told me in person. It's weird. Well, I'm going to, uh, go into my new apartment now.
[3:04]Eh?
[3:11]Ba!
[3:15]Mornings here. Mornings here. Sunshine is here.
[3:33]You have to do that? It's Saturday. Oh, come on, morning, sir. Mornings here. Oh, mornings here. Sunshine is here.
[3:53]I hate this apartment!
[3:57]I hate the color of these walls. I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird. I hate that singing guy. Are you kidding? I love that guy. Mornings here. Mornings here. Stop it!
[4:15]I will kill you.
[4:20]Mornings here. Oh, mornings here. Sunshine is here. The sky is clear. The dog of night has disappeared. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God. Guys, you got to come see this. There's some creep out there with a telescope.
[4:56]Oh. I can't believe it. He's looking right at us. Oh, that is so sick. I feel violated, and not in the good way. How do people do that?
[5:09]Oh, guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope. Oh my God! Go away! Stop looking in here! Great. Now he's waving back. Man, we got to do something about that guy. This morning I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out. I feel like I can't do stuff. What kind of stuff?
[5:38]Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but like when I'm cooking naked.
[5:46]You cook naked? Yeah, toast, oatmeal, nothing that spatters.
[5:54]What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that. Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman. I got the peeper's name. Can I use the phone? Can I use your phone?
[6:11]Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please. Heating device. Radiator. Five letters. Durrr, de-durrr.
[6:26]Yeah, is Sydney there? Oh, this is. Sidney's a woman? So she's a woman, so what? Yeah, yeah, so what? Look, I live across the street, and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? Yeah, I can see you right now. Hello! Look, if I want to walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like, thank you. That's not really the point. The, uh, the point is that, mostly free weights, but occasionally, you're doing. Yeah, my neighbor. Yeah, the brunette. She said you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress. Green dress? Really? Yeah, she said you look like Ingrid Bergman that day. No.
[7:22]You name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason. Maureen Razillo. "Cause she doesn't hate Yanni," is not a real reason.
[7:38]You're doing it again. We're not doing anything. You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
[7:47]You don't have birds. I could have birds. Okay, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down. Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. All right, bye-bye.
[8:03]Okay, Janice. Janice, you got to give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. Yeah, we'll give you Janice. I miss Janice, though. Hello, Chandler Bing. Oh my God.
[8:19]Oh, Chandler. Now.
[8:25]That's it. Damn, faster!
[8:37]Oh, stop with the broom. We're not making noise.
[8:54]Oh.
[8:57]Mr. Heckles?
[9:02]How did this happen? He must have been sweeping. They found a broom in his hand. Oh, my God. That's terrible. I know. I was sweeping yesterday. Could have been me. You were sweeping? You were sweeping?
[9:39]I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help.
[9:46]Hey, what are you guys doing? Making holiday candy for the neighbors. I'm sorry, who? I'm going to hang this basket on the door, and then when the neighbors walk by, they can all take a piece.
[10:00]But we don't know the neighbors. I do. There's, uh, let's see, a guy with a mustache, a smokes-a-lot lady, some kids I've seen, and a redheaded guy who does not like to be called Rusty. See, this is exactly why I'm making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors. Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved? Who is that? Don't worry, I'm brave. I am brave. I, I am brave. No, no, no, no. Can you tell me who is there, please? My name's Gary. I live upstairs. What?
[10:43]Hi. Do you know what time it is? It's candy time.
[10:51]Oh, please. My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven. Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven. Oh, 4:00 AM. So, can I get some candy? I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work. He does not know that I am not some of us.
[11:12]Oh. I'm sorry, but I'll, I'll put some out first thing in the morning. Well, okay, I'll swing by later. You live in this building? Hmm. Seems like I would have remembered you.
[11:26]Night, Gary!
[11:38]Very funny, Ross. Very lifelike and funny. Okay.
[11:45]Oh, no, no, no. I, I wasn't waving at you, lady. Whoa, maybe I was. Hey, Monica, there's a totally hot girl in Ross's building that's flirting with me. Get in there, man. Flirt back. Mix it up. Yeah, I, I'm down with that.
[12:04]Okay, here it goes. How you doing?
[12:22]Wow, she is pretty, huh? Tell me about it, huh? Oh, no, no. No, no, no. I'm not with her. Oh, that's just Monica. It worked! She's waving me over! Okay, I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor.
[12:38]Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing out here. Would you come back inside? No, no, no, no, no. You wanted me to take him down. So, I'm taking him down. Okay? Oh, no, my God. Rachel, I'm okay! I'm okay!
[12:57]Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles, could you, could you help me, please? See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
[13:08]Hey, what's going on? I found a note on my door. Come to Monica's quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar. Yeah, I'll take that. What's up? Monica and I are engaged. Oh my God.
[13:28]Congratulations. Where is she? I'm engaged! I'm engaged! I'm going to be a bride! Gosh, she's been out there for 20 minutes. I'm surprised you didn't hear her on the way over. I thought it was just a kid yelling, "I'm gay, I'm gay." Can I bring her in? No, no, let her stay out there. It's sweet. I'm getting married! I'm going to be a bride! No, I will not shut up, because I'm engaged! Oh, big talk, huh? Why don't you come over here and say that to me, huh, buddy? Yeah, my fiancé will kick your ass. Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20! Okay, you get her in here, you bolt the door. I'll be in the closet.
[14:15]Hey, new wallet, huh? Uh, yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say cool anymore, you know. Rachel, you just put an empty carton back in the fridge. Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full. Have you ever taken out the trash? Well, I, uh, thought you liked doing it.
[14:40]Third door on the left. Right.
[14:53]Oh, hey, Mr. Treager.
[14:59]Oh.
[15:21]It's a little old, but. No, you're clogging up the chute. I just spent a half hour unclogging. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't, I don't come in here a lot. Oh, yeah, of course you don't. Cause you're a little princess. Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing happy birthday to me.
[15:46]What? You think you can just come in here, make a mess, a big man in the coveralls will come and clean it up, huh? Well, why don't you think of someone else for a change?
[15:59]Okay, I'm sorry.
[16:07]God, you're going to cry about it. Right. I don't have a plan. Pizza Guy.
[16:20]Wait. Phoebe? What? Do you have a plan? I don't even have a plan. I brought a mushroom, green pepper and onion. No, no, no, that's not what we ordered. We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
[16:43]Wait, you're not G. Stephanopoulos? Oh man, my dad's going to kill me. Wait. Did you say G. Stephanopoulos? Yeah, yeah, this one goes across the street. I must have given him yours. Oh, don't, bonehead, bonehead. Wait, was this a a small Mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks? Yeah, sounds about right. Was he, was he wearing a stunning blue suit and, and a power tie? No, pretty much just a towel. Oh, God. So you guys want me to take this back? What, are you nuts? We've got George Stephanopoulos's pizza!
[17:35]I say pizza! Oh, I want to see, let me see, let me see. Hello, who are we spying on? You know, the White House advisor, Clinton's campaign guy. The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt. Oh, him, the little guy. I love him! Oh. Oh, wait, wait, I see a woman. Tell me it's his mother. Definitely not his mother. Oh, no. Oh, she's walking across the floor. She's walking, she's walking, she's going for the pizza. Hey, that's not for you, bitch!
