[0:00]Wales her once. That he might like to try something new. Lothd. No. Load. Not just the concept or the decor, the people, but they made the cardinal mistake of refusing to put a soft-boiled egg on top. What? He has a soft-boiled egg with everything. You must know that. And he never eats garlic because of this bizarre new rule, come supper time, he's always ravenous. Which new rule? The lunch rule. Darling, I would have thought it would have been one of the first things you'd have noticed about him. Prince of Wales doesn't eat lunch. Or never. Not if he can help it. And if he's forced to because of some engagement, he puts him in a terrible mood and he drones on and on about gas and bloating and wasted energy due to needless digestion. I try to cheer him up, but when his tummy goes, so does his sense of humor, I'm afraid. One of his awful gurus put him onto it. Not gurus, but you know how he loves to surround himself with dreary old men and daddy substitutes. No. Darling, you really know nothing, do you? You need a proper Fred tutorial.
[1:26]Thank you. Capisco.
[1:40]Who's Fred? It's my nickname for the Prince of Wales. And he calls me Gladders. It's harmless nonsense really. Right. Anyway, one of his boring friends, probably Lawrence Van der Post, good luck with that by the way, Snooz, got into his head and said that it was only healthy to eat two meals a day. But since Fred says that breakfast is too delicious to give up and dinner's too important, it had to be lunch.
[2:17]Now that you mention it. We've hardly been with one another at lunchtime, so I haven't really noticed. Fact is, we've hardly been with one another at all. That's not true. It is.
[2:33]You met at Babington Horsetrall. Yes. Then Verdi's Requiem at the Albert Hall with a chaperone. Granny, yes. Who didn't let you out of her sight for a second. Not a second. Then the weekend at Balmoral where you were a complete triumph. It'll go down in history as one of the great Balmoral debuts. The perfect 10. And then Highgrove. Golly. He obviously tells you everything. Well, we talk most days. What should he think of it? His new house? Highgrove.
[3:11]It's done. It's lovely. Isn't it? Mhm. He asked me what I would do with it. If I was decorating. Did he? Mhm. Yes. I'm rather good at all that. What did you say? I said I'd like to zhuzh it up a bit, make it a bit less stuffy. Give it a bit of color, some yellows and peaches. And don't forget green, his favorite. And green. Do you garden? Not really. He's obsessed by gardening. Yes, I know. He was already talking about either a wild garden or a wall garden. Both. Both. And a kitchen garden, and a sun dial garden. Do you fish? No, not really. What about hunting? Not if I can help it. More of a townie really. So you see yourself living more in London than in the country. Why do you ask? Just curious. Now, I'm sorry, I can't stay for coffee. Oh, then let me get this. Absolutely not, I'm the senior party here. Oh, please. Well, let's go Dutch. Good idea. I'm all for sharing.
[4:35]Ugh. Ha.
