[0:00]Eight great ways to diffuse a difficult behavior situation. Number one, ignore the secondary behaviors. One of the issues when you're dealing with a problem behavior, is that the first behavior that happens is the one you should be dealing with. But when you've gone into deal with that, all sorts of other behaviors will kick off. So you'll say to the kid, I need you to get on with your work. And then they'll get out of their seat and they'll start huffing and puffing. I'm not doing this work, this work is stupid, you're stupid. And so you start dealing with the secondary issue, as opposed to the issue you did mean to deal with. Try and maintain your focus on the thing that you actually need. So repeat what you ask for. I need you to get on with the work now. I need you to get on with the work now. Use repetition, rather than responding to the secondary things that the child says after you have asked them to get on. Number two, use the power of names. For every single one of us, our name is one of those words that really means a lot. Even if you hate your name, your name is still a crucial part of you. When you're dealing with behavior, you cannot overuse the child's name. So let's say Joe's misbehaving. And we go to him, Joe, I need you to get on with your work now. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, come on, Joe. I know you can do it. And by using the child's name, you maintain their attention, you demonstrate the power of that relationship you have with them. And you also reach out to the bit inside them that really feels you care. Number three, blame the policy.
[2:00]One of the key things to remember with behavior, is it's not about you versus the child, it's about the child and the school behavior policy. And a great way to defuse tension and to remind everybody involved that this isn't personal, is to refer to your policy. So let's say the child is out of their seat. You go up to them and you say, I notice you're out of your seat. Now, I think you'll find in our policy on page two, subclause II, it says that children should remain in their seat at all times. Pop back to your seat now, like it says. And that way you show them that it's not about you versus them, it's about what the policy asks you to make them do so they can get on with their learning. Number four, distract, defer, defuse. When we face an issue of difficult behavior, it's really tempting to dive in and immediately deal with what's going on. But small children are very, very easily distracted, so that should always be your first port of call. Let's say little Jimmy's playing with the the blue tack or the glue sticks. He obviously needs something to do with his hands. So rather than focusing in on the behavior, get him up, get him out of his seat. Jimmy, I noticed you got a lot of energy there. I out of your seat, can you hand these out for me. So that's the way you distract them. Defer. Now, often, we will want to jump on a behavior instantly, when that behavior isn't actually causing us an immediate problem. If you can defer dealing with the situation until everybody in the class is on task, then you can deal with it on a much more personal basis. So you're busy whole class teaching. Somebody kicks off, you say to them, I'll come and talk to you in a moment. Right everybody, let's get straight on task. And then the third thing you need to do is you need to defuse when children are getting really defensive, aggressive and difficult. And one of the key ways in which we defuse a situation is by using very unemotional language, very unemotional tone of voice. So when you're teaching, you're full of tone and excitement and enthusiasm. When I'm dealing with difficult behavior, I defuse by going to a monotone. Jimmy, you need to calm down now, Jimmy. Jimmy, you need to calm down. So you become almost like a robot and take all the tone out of your voice. Number five, keep it private. One of the most tempting things to do when faced with difficult behavior is to deal with it in front of the whole class. But that is like shining a hot white light on the difficulty that you're having. You call across the classroom. Emily, sit down now. And immediately everybody looks around at Emily and Emily is the star of the show. What you actually need to do is you need to find a way to get the rest of the class busy before you go across to Emily to deal with her. That way, you can do it privately, you can do it quietly, and she's much less likely to kick off. Number six, lessen the sense of threat. One of the things about working with small children, is that they're small. You are taller than them, and when somebody's taller than you, it can always feel quite threatening in terms of the physical difference in size. So one of the things you will already be doing, of course, when you're talking to children about their work, is getting down beside them to talk to them one to one. Use exactly the same technique when you're dealing with difficult behavior. As soon as a difficulty kicks off, lessen the sense of threat by physically bringing yourself below the level of the child. Number seven, send a trusted child to get help. When something kicks off in your classroom, the last thing you want to do is be in a situation where you're trying to deal with this child, being difficult, and the rest of the class at the same time. You remain responsible for all the children in your classroom, even when you're dealing with individuals. So if there is a difficulty, the first thing I recommend you do is send a trusted child to the office for help. This is particularly the case if you're in the room on your own and there isn't a TA or other member of support staff with you. Number eight, remove the class from the situation.
[6:54]Many years ago, I was doing a demonstration with some teachers about how to deal with a child who is completely defiant, who completely refuses to do what you say. And I'd asked one of the teachers if they wouldn't mind role playing the child. Well, they were sat there, and I was asking them to leave the room, and they point blank refused. So instead, I did what you need to do if the same happens to you. I said to the rest of the class, okay, everybody, please stand up and come and line up outside. That way, you take away the audience from the difficult child, and you leave them with no one to be defiant in front of.
