[0:01]Hey everybody. Um, I haven't been really feeling the best lately. And in my DC I said I want to make a video about overthinking, which I don't mind making a video about that. It's just I want to love myself so bad. I hate myself so much. I have so many faults, so many negatives about me. So it's impossible to love myself and who I am. And how could I when I'm so dumb, so selfish, so clingy, so obnoxious. I'm so loud. Everyone points out these faults and I just can't change them. Because that's just who I am. I really want to love myself. I really do. But I hate myself for the actions I've done for the person who I am. It's kind of hard to do that. I see myself as nothing but faults and negatives. There's not a single bit of myself that I love. I'm just trapped in a cocoon of negativity that I've been in for so many years. that I believe I just can't get out of.
[2:04]I've pushed people away. I've said some bad things. I've done bad things.
[2:14]that almost nobody can understand. I've relapsed a couple times cutting myself.
[2:26]I really hate myself so much. I hate the person who I am. I hate the life I've lived.
[2:40]I hate myself so much. I just want to feel happy. And I don't think I'm asking for much. I It's gone to a point where I just can't take it. If reincarnation was a thing, I would've been so happy to just off myself right now. and live a different life and start over. Why is it so hard to love me and love who I am?
[3:30]I just want to be happy.
[3:37]Truly happy.
[3:49]I give life so many chances for that to happen. I try. And I think I do good. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. So why? Why do I not feel happy? Every day is a prison I'm living in this body. I'm so fucking lonely and so So unhappy. I just want to be happy.
[4:42]I don't think I'm asking for much. And that's why I take drugs to make me happy. Mainly weed because even if I'm feeling happy, then I take weed. I get extra happy. And that's a plus. But it only lasts for so long. I've had years of sadness and only a couple moments of happiness in my life. I just want to be happy. I just want to be happy.
