[0:00]For a long time, I used to be so scared of speaking in front of people. I remember when I used to be in school and the teacher would come around asking who wanted to share their answers in front of the class. And I would always just sit there and my heart would start beating really fast. And I would always try and avoid eye contact with the teacher and just try and hide. And when she would finally say someone else to share their answers, I remember I always used to feel this big sense of relief. I was like, far out. That was close. And, you know, what felt like relief at the time became quite, it was a lot more insidious than what it felt like in the moment. Because, yes, it gave me that temporary relief, but over time, I began to develop this this debilitating anxiety when it came to public speaking. I even remember even in uni, some some of the presentations I had to give, I would always be so nervous before going up. And I've even had times where, you know, I would speak and then my body would just like shut down and I literally had to stop and breathe and then speak again. And the reason for this is because I used to have social anxiety. And even though I have become a lot more confident in social settings, that anxiety was still there when it came to public speaking, because I kept avoiding it. So, what felt like it was relief of me just trying to avoid speaking, you know, I'd always look away, trying to avoid eye contact. I'd never volunteer myself to actually speak and as a result, I had this anxiety that just kept staying. And it would make me so confused because I'd think, you know, I'm I'm a pretty confident guy when it comes to social environments. But when it comes to speaking in front of people, for some reason, that just goes out the window and I become super nervous. So recently, I thought, you know what, I'm I need to break this. I need to actually face my fear. And so, I recently joined a like this public speaking society. You know, it wasn't not too long ago that I actually decided attending these these like speaking groups. And basically how it works is for an hour on a Tuesday, you go there and basically, you just practice speaking in front of people. So there's about 30 of us who go to these sort of events. And it only goes for an hour, but basically, you do these activities and it's supposed to expose you to public speaking, so you can become more confident. And I remember the first time joining, I was pretty determined, so, you know, I was I was still pretty nervous, but I put myself put my hand up and I put myself out there. And the first time I did it, I got like this really random question.
[4:35]It was on, if you were to be drafted into World War three, what would you, like, what would be your excuse to get out? And so I just had to come up with something on the spot, and I ended up talking about like, I'd pretend to have a mental illness.
[4:54]So that's a good way to get like kicked out the first week. But yeah, luckily, luckily they were they found it funny, so, you know, I did that. And then the next week, I pulled my hand up, and that one was on something to do with like intuition, should you follow it even if you're even if your intuition is biased. And I sort of gave my answer to that. And even last night, I, you know, so I've been going to these events like quite quite often now, so like, every week. And last night, I was doing this sort of trivia night for this event at Uni. And so, the way this worked was, you have people from your sort of the public speaking society. And there was also this other society as well. So there was a lot of new faces. And so we did things like trivia and charades and like speed friending and all this sort of stuff. But one of the activities was an impromptu speech. So I thought, you know what, I'm going to give it a shot. Even though it's in front of new people, I'm going to give it a try. And when I went up there and my my topic was on what's animal could humans learn from the most? And so I mentioned the lion because I thought lions are just cool.They're just like they just go after what they want, and I talk about that all the time on my channel. But I, so I got up the front and you know, there was a lot of new people. And when I started speaking, what I noticed was I didn't have any fear. And like, when I was just up there, I was just being myself. And it was like I was just talking to one person, but now just in front of everyone. Like, it wasn't like I had to put on this presenter version of myself anymore because I just thought, okay, like I'm pretty charismatic with one or two or three people. But like, my brain had just like now extended that to, okay, why can't I just be that with 20 or 30 people? And so I just started talking about all these reasons why a lion is is good, and we should learn from the lion. And after the talk, I had multiple people say how like confident I was, because we I talked on the topic for about two minutes. And again, no preparation, no nothing, just speak. And yeah, I had people say, oh, you know, you're so confident and even like these these random girls who I hadn't even like spoken to, were coming up to me and saying, oh, you know, I really like your your speech and, you know, you're really confident and stuff. And for someone who always had this sort of self-image of someone who was like nervous public speaker, I started to feel a lot more like calm and confident, and I thought, yeah, you know, I can do this. And, you know, I think the thing that again, really the part that really like confused me was because I already had the self-image of like a confident guy. But when it came to public speaking, again, it was different. But last night, and even like the progress I'd made, has shown that even though it was something that I used to fear, it was only temporary.
[9:07]And it was only when I finally exposed myself to that very fear that my body became comfortable. Because the way fear works is we our brain associates something with a threat. And so, because there is this threat, we want to try and avoid that so that we stay safe. But the only way that you can overcome that fear is by taking action.
[9:47]And I know that you probably know that deep down, but you keep avoiding it because you don't want to face that fear. You're like how I used to be when I would always just try and avoid eye contact with the teacher so I can get that temporary relief of, oh, good, you know, I don't have to face my fears. But now that I've actually said, no, I'm going to face this fear because I'm not going to let this fear hold me back, and I threw myself in the deep end. You know, I'd go up in front of people, and, you know, I would be nervous just with like palm cards speaking in front of people. And I did it, but with like no script, no nothing, speaking in front of people, and I just threw myself in the deep end. But now that I've done that, I just feel like so much more confident. And I almost just feel like myself now, and that has been so like, imagine struggling with something for like years and years and years. And then now you finally feel like you can do it comfortably, because that's what it that's what it's like for me. And I only got to that stage because I actually faced it head on. I had the trait of courage and that's not something that you just randomly, you know, you're given courage. You just have to find it from within, and the more of a masculine man you are, the more you see that fear. Like you're not going to let some emotion stop you from actually doing what you need to do. Because if you think about it, that's quite like a feminine trait. Femininity, you know, is about like sort of letting your emotions dictate what you're going to do. And that's okay for women because that's how they're meant to be, but as men, we are meant to lead and we are meant to, you know, feel that emotion, but do it anyway. That's what it means to be disciplined.That's what it means to have courage is you feel that fear. You feel, oh, you know, I don't want to face this, but you say, you know what, the logical thing to do here is to face that. Now, you know, I think the more you fear something, the more you have to do it. But I also think on a practical level, sometimes it is better to work your way up and over time when you get these small little, you know, exposure. That's when over time you'll become a lot more confident and comfortable to the point where you can then face bigger fears that you have. And, you know, even with public speaking, for example, I first had to overcome my fear of just talking to one or two or three people. And now that I've gotten really comfortable with that, now it's like speaking in front of like larger people. Larger groups of people and now I feel comfortable. Because my brain has has been, it's had the evidence that I can face it. And so, to whoever's watching this, maybe there's something that you have on your mind that you want to do, but you still avoid it. And it may be causing you a bit of this frustration because you know you should do it, but you just don't. And, you know, as much as you want to try and say, oh, I'm not scared, it's just because of this reason or this reason. Bro, if I if I like somehow just force you, if I pushed you to do it, and you did it, you would feel so much relief and all your limiting beliefs would just go away. And the reason why I say that is because that's how I used to be even with before starting this YouTube channel. Because you got to think, starting a YouTube channel, like what I'm what you're watching now. It's not easy at all. You know, to share your opinions and your story and like all these things in a vulnerable way, like I'm doing. It is not easy when you know, like, anyone could just watch your content and, you know, you have the thought of, oh, who's going to judge me and who's going to find out my videos and all of this. But I remember just before I started my channel, I spent probably a month or two just thinking about it. And I'd always debate, I'm like, oh, you know, but should I just do a faceless channel instead? Should I just, you know, I was just trying to avoid it, and I would try and rationalize it and say, oh, but, uh, you know, if I don't put my face on then maybe people are going to be more focused on the content rather than my face. And like, bro, I sounded so smart in my own head, but I was just afraid. And that is exactly why you come up with these excuses. You come up with these excuses because you are afraid. So, what, what do you do? Do you just continue to live the life being held back by fear, or do you just man up and say, okay, I have this fear. So what, and you face it anyway. And you realize, once you actually face it, you actually, because what happens when you face your fears, your brain gets these like feel-good chemicals. And you'll get to the point where you're like, I actually want to face my fears more often. It's like, it's fun, it makes life interesting when you face your fears. It means that there is like this this new part of you that you unlock, and that brings you so much just self-esteem and confidence. And so, when you have something that you know you should do, just do it. I know that's like simple advice, but even if just it's on a small level, even if it's just like posting one video, and, you know, no one sees it, whatever. You you just taking that leap of faith, you'll be like, all right, now my video is out there. Now I can handle it. And I think that's a really good mindset is when you when you're trying to, like when you have this fear, right? You you have this anticipation, the the thing that keeps us afraid is we just don't know if we could handle it. But like what I said, when you actually put yourself in the arena, you just send it. You'll you just you find a way to handle it. Regardless of whatever fear you have, you almost got to tell yourself that even if the worst-case scenario happens, I could still handle it. And once your brain actually like sees that, so once you actually take action and you can actually see that for yourself, and you realize that it's not so bad and that you can handle it anyway. You just develop this sort of just calm confidence because you know, yeah, okay, this fear is there, but I've shown that I can handle it. I showed that I have courage, and guess what, once I face that fear, I know that I'll be so proud of myself. And so, I know this video is a bit longer. It was a bit of a just a rant because I feel like this is the the very specific message that I feel like my younger self would have really needed, was just to have someone like older than my past self, obviously. To just tell me, bro, like, you have this fear in your mind, but that's like, okay, that fear is there. Now just go and do it anyway. Just have a bit of courage, and you'll find that what was just holding you back for so long, occupied so much of your mental energy and effort, wasn't really that bad anyway. And so, I hope I can just like give you a metaphorical slap in the face out of love to just take action on whatever that, whatever that thought is. Oh, you know, like, like you've probably had something in your mind where you knew, I knew, I know I have to do it. Just do it, bro. Just do it. And you'll like thank me later. You'll be like, oh, I'm so grateful that like, I just like Luke recorded this this 30 plus minute video of just him explaining this. And you would just feel so much more at peace because you just finally took action and, you know, because if you think about, what it like what it successful people have versus like non-successful people. Is successful people have these exact same fears and limiting beliefs as the unsuccessful people, but they do it anyway. So if you want to become successful at anything, then you need to learn to face that fear that would stop you from getting to there. And so, and again, logic says, just do it. And the more of this masculine man that you are, the more that you're just going to do it anyway, regardless of your emotions. Yeah, so my channel is about helping young men to become more masculine. And you know, so I've talked about courage throughout this video, and I think that's just such a core pillar of what it means to be a masculine man. And so if you like this kind of content, this is the channel for you. I make content on masculinity and self-improvement. I sort of like merge the two together to help young men to become the man that commands respect. And so, I don't want to talk about this for too much longer. Just go click that link. It takes 30 seconds to join, so don't be lazy. Just click that link, take action, and it'll be worth it. Other than that, like I said, whatever fear that you have, on the other side is the life that you want to live. And so you have this choice now. Are you going to keep avoiding it, or are you going to take action despite fear, and you just you know intuitively that that would be the best scenario. It's just now how much courage do you actually have. And so I hope this message helped you. Go take action. Go visit that top link in the description.Subscribe to my channel, and I'll see you in the next one. Goodbye.
