[0:00]46.4% of U.S. adults are single. That's 117 million unmarried Americans. Now, some of them are divorced, some are widowed, as well as those who have never been married. Now, in Matthew chapter 19 verse 12 it says, there are uniques who have been born that way from their mother's womb. And there is those uniques who have been made uniques by men, and there are those who have made themselves uniques for the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it. So, there's really four types of single people, there are those who have been single by nature, meaning they've been born without the desire and ability to get married due to some physical or psychological factors. That number is very small and I believe many of you are not those people. Um also, there is single people who have been made single by circumstances, and there are single people who choose to be single because of a choice to pursue God and to commit themselves to God. Now, when it comes to singleness, what I want you to highlight is this, is that in the Bible, in the Old Testament, we see that marriage was a very big deal. In the New Testament, it almost seems like that marriage was not a big deal. You read portions like Corinthians where Paul is saying, hey, you know, if you want to get married, you're going to have trouble, but if you really want to serve God without distractions, stay single. And but Paul is mainly referring to an audience that is being persecuted in that day and age. So, what started to happen in the second and eventually in the third and in the fifth centuries is the church viewed celibacy as superior to marriage, which is where Catholic priests don't get married, and it was really viewed there was this three levels of like importance. you're virgin, if you're a virgin, like you're really, really like spiritual person. If you are a widow, you're very like second spiritual person. And then there's a third one, the rest of you who couldn't have self-control in your life, and you got married. It's really how the marriage was viewed. It was until Martin Luther, when Martin Luther came and reformation happened, and where he started to view marriage as a high calling of God. And it's not some kind of a third thing, but it's actually a great thing, it's probably the best thing that God has in his arsenal to develop our character and expose our demons. It's a great thing for families, it's a great thing to advance his kingdom, it's it's a blessing from God. And this is why he, you know, removed this idea that pastors should be single, but pastors should be married and they should be encouraged to be married. So we are in a place today, we believe that singleness is a gift of God. Being single is not a curse, being single is not sickness, being single is a season in your life where you are to serve God without distraction. You should be single and be holy, not single and be horny, you should be single and be whole, not single and be with a bunch of holes and a bunch of dead and headache and all of this stuff. Nor should you be single and be impatient, nor should you be single and be desperate, you should be single and be passionate for Jesus, walk in purity and fulfill the call that God has for you. And nor should there be any pressure, like, hey, bro, it's 27, you're 27 already, or 32. We should live without that pressure, but with that said, we should live with the desire if you don't have the gift of singleness to be single for the rest of your life, you should live with the desire to want to get married. Amen. So be single and alone, not lonely, because being single will not kill you, being married will not heal you and being married is not an insurance policy for happiness. Marriage will magnify what you have, it will not satisfy what you don't have. Marriage is just a magnifying glass if you're indebted, miserable, and depressed, you'll be more indebted, miserable, and depressed. If you are addicted to porn, marriage will fix it. Marriage won't fix your father wounds, marriage won't won't fix things. Singleness will not kill you, marriage will not heal you, and waiting on God is not a waste of time. Amen. Being single means you got to be single and holy as I mentioned not horny. Being single, being single and serving, not being selfish. Now, what I want to do for the rest of this message is I want to share seven practical things for those people who will be going into the season of relationships and the season of marriage. This will apply to those who are in marriage, who are in dating right now as well, give you some pointers and for those of you who are in the place where you might be ready. There are people here today some single moms, some people here today as well who have been divorced, and maybe there's fear of getting married. A fear of getting your heart being broken. God really wants you not to live by defined by your past, he wants you to have hope, he wants you to have future. Now, some of you may be here, you are in an unhealthy or unhappy marriage and you're like, man, I just want to get out of this. You know, some people said marriage is an institution, is like a jailed institution, you know, many people want to get out. But I want you to believe that God can bring a breakthrough in that marriage. Does it mean that every marriage is going to have a breakthrough? There are unfortunate things that happen in this broken world where even marriages they fall apart. It is not God's will because God's will is to restore and reconcile, but it does happen in this broken world. That is not what my message is going to be about today. If you have your Bible, I want you to go together with me to Genesis chapter 24 verses 3 and 4. And I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell. But you shall go to my country and to my family and take a wife for my son Isaac. Now, the story I'm going to take all seven points, seven thoughts are going to come from a story of how Abraham found a wife for his son. Now, we are not going to take that story and apply 100% into our situation because Isaac actually didn't go look for his wife. They had a servant in the house, an employee went to a different city, found Isaac a wife. He didn't even had a chance to like see her. So, this is biblical way.
[6:19]It's not necessarily the right way. What I mean by that is this, we can take the principles from this, but we don't use this as a template. Because that would require your dad getting an employee, sending somebody to a different state, looking for a well. And whichever woman, you know, feeds your camels, which means you need to get camels. You what is your camels? So people who are like, man, I want to find a wife biblical way, you need to get camels, bro. So, what we are going to do is we're going to take us some principles that apply to every culture and everyone, okay? So, just, just wanted to put it out there. First thing is this, you have to pre-decide. Somebody say pre-decide. to choose from your spiritual family. Pre-decide, meaning you don't wait until you meet that person, you're like, man, I's going to depend on how good-looking they are. It's going to depend on how charming they are, or how rich they are. You pre-decide. I want you to notice what Abraham did, he pre-decided. My son will not get married to the daughters from Canaan. This is not being hateful, this is not being discriminative, this is not discriminating against other cultures, this is about cultures, this is about religion and faith. Now, I'm going to give you another verse numbers chapter 36 verse 6. This is what the LORD commands concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, 'Let them marry whom they think best, but they may marry only within the family of their father's tribe.'
[8:06]So God's like, marry whom you like. Come on.
[8:10]But they may marry only within your father's family tribe, meaning spiritually speaking, make sure that they are within your spiritual family that belongs to your heavenly father. And may I just put a little plug in there and make sure that they're the opposite sex. Come on. Just need to say that.
[8:32]Because in Genesis it says that God made Eve and and she was compatible and and it was not found somebody for Adam who was not compatible and so when you are male and male, it is not compatible. Biblically speaking, male and female, he made them because that is really the only way you're going to produce babies and that is a biblical marriage, male and female within your spiritual family tribe. Come on. First Corinthians chapter 7 verse 39. Let's go to the New Testament. Let's see what Paul is advising to single women who lost their husbands. And he said, a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. That's what Paul said. But he wasn't married at the time, so I could see where it's coming from. But wife is bound by law, meaning you are in one marriage, there's a law that guards you together, as long as your husband lives. If her husband dies, she's at liberty. I want you to catch this, at liberty. This is not just man who is free to marry who she wants. Paul is saying, listen, lady, you are at liberty, you got freedom. to marry who? Whom you wish.
[9:43]Whatever, whoever you like. Only in the Lord. Ouch. Because man, he's hot. So is hell. Question is, is he holy? Is he humble? Is he honoring? So Paul is saying to ladies and to men, he's saying to young people, single moms, he's saying to people who are widows, he's like, you can marry whoever you like. But I want to marry who God wants. God's not going to live with him, you will. Do you like them? Do you want to be with them? Yeah.
[10:25]One criteria. Are they in the Lord? The Bible doesn't say are they in church. Because the church is a hospital and not everyone responds to treatment the same way.
[10:41]Oh, they came to church. Demons come to church. So don't just kind of hide, like, you know, he's raising his hands. You don't know why he's raising his hands. So, are they in the Lord. In the Old Testament we see God saying, Abraham is saying to his servant, he says, make sure you go to my family. We see in in Jewish culture, God is saying to Moses, tell the daughters, they can find any man they like, as long as it's within their spiritual family of their father. And Paul is saying, as long as it's in the Lord. Somebody, somebody shout in the Lord. So they got to be in the Lord and you got to be in the Lord. Now, I want to highlight something. Why? Because about 39% of marriages in the United States are between different religions. This idea does sound a bit like, man, God just doesn't want he doesn't like other religions. Oh, he loves them. He loves everybody, but you must understand how marriage works. The scripture says in Amos, how can they walk together unless they agree? Listen to me very carefully. You can fall in love with anyone, you cannot walk in love with anyone. Because to walk with someone, you have to be in agreement with them. You have to be on the same page with them. And if you are a Christian, and you're entertaining the thought, you know what, I'm just going to date anybody and then eventually I will convert them to Christianity. The Holy Spirit is what brings people to Jesus, it is not dating. Missionary dating is not biblical. We don't flirt to convert.
[12:17]All right. Now, can God do those miracles? Of course he can. He can also heal you after you throw yourself from a five-story building. Do you need to go throw yourself from a five-story building because there's somebody on YouTube who got healed after he fell from there? No. We practice God's wisdom and we obey God's laws and God's instructions. Historically speaking, in the United States, if you get married past 30, your chances of divorce are lower. But conservatives or people from religious households get married young and their divorce rate is even lower. Because the key is this, it's not about getting married young or getting married old. The key is that you have to get married in the Lord. You are in the Lord and they are in the Lord. Christian marriage is different than any other marriage that is happening there. Every other marriage that's happening there is not a covenant, it is a contract. And contracts exist for what? Limiting my responsibilities, safeguarding my interests. It's really about me, it's about my happiness. Covenant is different because covenant is about death. Covenant is about I'm not giving getting 50%, giving 15%, you give 50%. No, I'm giving all of my life to you and all of yours belong to me. It's about sacrifice, it's about giving. But the most amazing part what I love a Christian marriage is this, is that in Christian marriage, it's a covenant. I'm committed first to God, then to an institution of marriage which he created, and then I'm committed to my spouse. When you are not in a Christian marriage, you're committed to your spouse. If they fail you, well, they're not making you happy, off I go and find me a new model. But see, in a Christian marriage, I'm not committed to you first, I'm not even committed to marriage first, I'm committed to God, I fear him more than I love you. Listen, young lady, find a man who fears God more than he loves you. Because there'll be times you're going to drive that boy crazy. And guess who's going to keep him humble? Not you, it's not going to be your charms. Guess who's going to tell him to repent. It ain't going to be you cuz he's not going to listen to you at that point. Find a man that fears God so much. That he'll stay with you. Love you even if he doesn't want to. Come on, every married person understand. There were times, there were times. Had it not been for the Lord. That's why you want to stay, look within your family tree, spiritual family tree. Amen. The second thing that I want to highlight here is this. The scripture says in verse 7, the Lord of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my family and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land.' He will send his angel before you and you shall take a wife for my son from there. This is an amazing reference where God is telling a man who's about to look for a wife or somebody else that he will send him an angel to help him find a wife. No single, no single ready to mingle dot com, no Christian dating sites, God sends his angel to help. And there's some of you here today, you need some angelic help. You're like, the, the place I'm in, I need an angel to help me out. And in fact, God wants to send you an angel to help you. But, I want you to notice something. God's providence worked in God's place. What I mean by this is, when you're a single person, not only you have to fish within the family tree, within the family line, within the spiritual family, you have to be at the well, not in the club.
[16:20]Because you're not going to meet God's providence, you're going to meet the devil's deception. Where did this servant found a wife for Isaac? At the well. Jacob found his wife at the well. Moses found his wife at the well. Even Jesus met a woman at the well. So ladies, make sure you hang out around the well. The well that has water, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Scriptures. Men, make sure you go looking for a wife, not on Tinder, not on Snapchat, not on TikTok, and not on OnlyFans, you're not going to find a wife there. We we look within a well, meaning we have to be around the well. The Bible says, Rebecca, she brought sheep with her and that means this lady wasn't just there waiting for her husband. The girl was involved in stuff, she was helping things around, she was serving, she was part of the team, she was part of the life group, she was serving, and this man is coming with camels. It's funny how she has sheep, he has camels. A lot of ladies they're like, man, I want a man with camels. Where are your sheep? A lot of men are like, man, I want a lady that serves God. Where are your camels? Are you serving God? Are you working or are you just simply watching television all the time? We got to go into the well, meaning we have to be around the well. Put God's kingdom first in the life when you are single and you will find that person hanging out around the well. You're like, hey, what is your name? Have you been coming here for a while because I haven't seen you? That is how you're going to find that person by not obsessively looking, but by serving God at the well. And the well is the church, the well is the conference, the well is the small group. Don't waste your single years chasing for a spouse. Spend your single years serving God at the right well. Because men and women of God seem to find their partners when they find their well. All right, number three. Pray about your prospects while you're in the process of waiting. Then he said, 'O LORD God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham.' I want you to notice what this man was doing, not only he was going to the right family, he went to the well, but I want you to notice what he did at that well. He said, Lord God of my master Abraham, give me success. Pray about your marriage. If you desire to get married, if you fear getting married, take time every day, every other day, whenever the fears come up, loneliness comes up, and just talk to God and say, Lord, you know the desire of my heart. Would you grant me that desire? Lord, keep me away from losers and jokers. Lord, make me the right person, because I'm looking for the right person, make me the person that I want to attract. Ask God, pray about it. When you don't pray within your single years, you can fall into loneliness, you can fall into desperation, you can fall into all of that. Single years are not years to be desperate. Even if your biological clock is already hitting late 30s and and there is maybe like that natural pressure, don't fall into desperation because people who are desperate tend to not differentiate between God's blessings and the devil's bait. Desperation blurs your discernment. That's why when you feel desperation, when there's a pressure maybe from your parents and others, take that to the Lord, take it to the secret place and find your identity, find your wholeness in God. Do not find your identity in a relationship or your single status or your married status. Find it in God because if you are with holes, you're like, man, I need somebody to make me whole, marriage will not do that. Only God will do that. So prayer is the place where I bring my anxieties, prayer is the place where he said, Lord, give me success, God of Abraham, give me success. When you pray about it, you worried maybe about it, you you're concerned about it, but now pray about it. Say, Lord, I give that to you. Lord, help me, guide me. God is not going to make your decision on your behalf, but God wants to help you. He wants to send his angelic help, he wants to send his grace, just pray about it and put it into God's hands. Amen. God is writing your love story, don't steal his pen out of impatience. When you're impatient and lonely, you tend to make impulsive decisions that result in birthing things that then need God's intervention. Everyone is going to wait. You will wait on God to bring the right person, or you will wait on God to change the wrong person that you found because you didn't wait on God to bring the right person in the first place. Wait on God. Talk to God. Get him involved in this decision. It's a very important decision and this is not to be just consulted with your feelings, it should be consulted with your prayer and with your desire for God. The goal is not to find someone, the goal is to find the right one for you. Amen.
[22:00]Number four. Please pay attention to the signs. Genesis 24 verse 14. Now, let it be. So he's start talking to the Lord, he says, Lord, I'm asking you, would you give me success in this journey? He went to the well, he went to the right family, he prayed about it, and then he's saying, Lord, let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' Let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master. So, he's kind of throwing a little hell Mary. He's throwing a little test over there. He says, God, I'm asking. He's not just saying, God, just send somebody randomly. He says, I'm going to come up to a lady and I'm going to ask her, hey, could you give me a drink? And if she says, you got your hands, you can get your own drink. Well, it's kind of obvious, I don't want no Jezebel, so, um, no. But if she says, of course, not only that, but um, I want to water your camels. I guess like in that culture was normal, ladies nowadays, um, I don't think they're going to do that, so probably you don't want to put that test on the Lord. And he goes up to a lady and she, he says, hey, can I get a drink? And she says, well, be more than happy and she starts watering the camels. And he's looking at that and pretty much there is signs. These are signs. When God wants you to be with someone, a lot of times, he'll give you signs. These signs are not always, John, she is your wife. She's 50 feet away, 49, 48, 47, she's looking at. God most likely is not going to do that. After you pray about it, a person will come within your proximity that gets your attention. Pay attention to the signs. Also, the other side is also true. When you're at the well, at the right family, and somebody and you pray about it, and somebody comes within your world that comes closer, gets your attention. Also pay attention to the signs when they are not the one. What many people do is they follow infatuation and they ignore the signs. God is not the way God protects us is by taking away peace and the way God leads us is sometimes by giving his peace. Peace is different than hormones, peace is different than cravings or or chemistry. Peace is that guidance from the Holy Spirit. Here are a few things to pay attention to. One, how do they treat others, especially their family and friends? How that man treats his sister is how he going to treat you. How that woman treats her dad, you represent authority as the way she might treat you, pay attention to that. Also pay attention, how do they behave in different settings, public and private? When they're with you, they're they're they're very nice and then when you come out and you see them from a distance and you notice they're very mean to a waiter, they're very disrespectful, very arrogant. A person like that, you got to pay attention. Why? Because while they are in Christ, the Bible tells you, you should marry whom you wish. You need to decide, do I want to be with a jerk? No. So, you want to be with a person that honors God, respects other people and walks in humility. And yes, they could be in Christ, but I mean, Judas was around Jesus, you don't want to marry Judas. And the way you do that is you observe their behavior from a distance. The way you do that is you put yourself within a circle where you can observe their signs. Are they giving water or they are simply gossiping? Are they watering camels or they're killing camels? Like, what do they do? And so, we see some signs like, what kind of content do they consume on social media? Ladies, check who they follow on Instagram. That tells you a lot about their purity life.
[26:17]All the men right now going, let me go check who I. Beyonce, no, Taylor Swift, no, unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.
[26:28]Let me clean up my life today.
[26:33]Is it okay for a woman to have a problem with what who the man is following? 100%, because who you follow and who you allow to influence you says a lot about what intake is happening in your life. She don't have to marry you just because you're in Christ. You can be in Christ, I need a lot of sanctification. Marry whom you wish, the scripture says. You got to be careful and one of the things that you do is you check the signs. They really speak about integrity. Do they have that integrity? Who do they follow? Who do they listen to? Who they get influenced by? Do you agree with them doctrinally? Is their favorite preacher John MacArthur? Well, that's going to be a problem because you speak in tongues. We believe in the same Jesus. Yeah, there's difference in doctrine. And while you love each other, you can't walk in each other because you don't agree. You're going to have to agree. So this is not now just in Christ, this is now pay attention to the signs. Signs are huge and these things they are not a big deal when you're dating, they become a huge deal when you get married. Are their friends mature and respectable? A big sign if you want to know somebody's character, who finds joy around them. Oh, they just couldn't find any friends in the church, so a lot of their friends, they're drinking bodies, they're evangelizing to them. Well, be honest, have their friends changed because of them, or they've changed because of their friends? Pay attention to that because those friends will be your friends, they'll be hanging out in your house and whatever those friends carry, you most likely that person that you like is carrying that as well. That's why he finds or she finds comfort in those kind of relationships. Do your close friends and family approve of them? Is everyone in your circle who actually loves you, says, dude, what are you doing? Are you out of your mind? Are you possessed or something? Like, aren't you like, are you blind? Don't you know this person or maybe on the opposite, your, your family members, your mom and dad, pastors and leaders, they're like, hey, what are you doing? You know you're getting yourself into trouble. And and then you're like, ah, there is attacking me, they don't want me to be in love. No, no, no, they see things you don't see. You will see those things six months into marriage, they see that right now. You're clouded with infatuation. Pay attention to those signs. Now, does it mean your friends are making decisions for you? No, is your mom and dad need to make a decision on your behalf? No, it is your decision, but you do want to pay attention to the signs because the way God guides and leads many times by giving us signs. The way we went to, you know, Spokane last week, we we pay attention to the road signs. The road signs, they help you to stay on the right track and God gives us those signs. The servant is looking, she's watering the camels, she gave him water and he's like, oh my goodness, God is just giving the signs that this is it. He has blessed this. Do you have peace about them? I am not talking about, do you have argument points where you tell other people why they are the one? No, it's when you finish defending them and you're by yourself. Is there this sick feeling? You're making the biggest mistake of your life. Don't run from that. If there is a tension, pay attention to your tension. Because sometimes that is God warning you about things and don't jump into a relationship. Don't take a relationship further if there is no peace. And the final thing, and this is huge for ladies and for men, do you trust them? Are they saying one story, changing another time, mixing up the details all the time and you're catching them in a lie and you're noticing they're not honest. If there is no truth, there will be no love. Yeah, you're going to have great infatuation, you will not have intimacy because you could never be intimate with somebody you don't trust. And it might not seem like a big deal right now, but if there is if you don't trust that person, you always have to check their phone, you always suspicious of them and they give you plenty of reasons to do that. They can speak in tongues 300 miles per hour and be doctrinally with you, but if you don't trust a person, don't go into a relationship with them. That's a red flag. Amen. Verse 12. And the man wondering at her, remained silent so as to know whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not.
[31:10]Number five. Stay pure and if I may add, patient, even when you know this is the one. She's watering the camels, he didn't go in, oh my God, you're the one. He's standing there just silent. This is good. Yeah, this is good, Lord, seems good. It's really good. Patient and pure. When you found the one, and there's no red flags and there's just things fall into place. This is not a time to take the lady to the backseat of a Honda. This is a time to get a job, buy a ring. This is not love in our culture today, cohabitation, casual sex, or sometimes men, if there's a man that pressures you and says, if you don't sleep with me, then you don't love me. Tell that man to get lost. He is not, if he doesn't guard your purity and doesn't value your integrity and your boundaries and God's word, this man does not have respect for God. He has no respect for you. And listen to me, young lady, and listen to me, young man. You have absolutely no guarantee that he will honor you in marriage if he doesn't honor you before marriage. Now, nowadays Christians, they live together, they cohabitate. And they're like, well, you know, we're we're going to get married one day. They're naked with each other. Well, we're going to get married one day in the Bible. Listen to me very carefully. Adam knew his wife. The scripture says and Adam, they were both naked, the man and his the man and his, the man and his wife. The Bible doesn't say and they were both naked the man and his girlfriend. The Bible doesn't say and they were both naked the man and his fiance. But they already had a wedding date. The Bible doesn't say the man and his friend. The man and his wife, biblically speaking, the only nakedness of a person you should see is your spouse. So that means living together, nudes, all of this stuff, does not belong in a dating relationship. But we're we're the one we're going to be married together already. It's what differs does it make, the date doesn't make a difference, I heard somebody say, really? It does. Think about. A person who will argue that a location doesn't matter in a house where you put the fireplace and you have a fire in the fireplace and you're like, well, it doesn't matter where the fire is, it's in the house and and and it keeps us warm, that's all that matters. Well, really. Take that fire, put it in the middle of the living room. Same fire, same house, a different location, makes a very big difference. And the Bible is very clear is that there are things that are called sin and there are things that are called not sin. Sex is not bad, sex is a gift from God. Sex is to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. But take that outside of marriage, it is not a gift of God, it is a sin. You may say, how can the same thing be a blessing in one season and and a sin in the other one? Very simple. Go to your garden, take the soil that is for the plants and put it next to your salad. In your, in your garden, it's soil, on your plate is dirt. The same thing. Within marriage it's beautiful. You take that outside, that's why there's soul ties, that's why there's sin, that's why there's guilt, that's why there's unwanted pregnancies, there's so many other stuff, it becomes dirt. The sex is not dirty, it's that when you take it out of the marriage garden and you put it into a season of your life that is not belongs to it becomes sin. So just because you're in a relationship and she's the one, he's the one, keep it pure. Sexually postpone sexual relationship until the wedding. And I can tell you, there are things you will know about that person that you will never know otherwise until you postpone sex until the wedding. And if God forbid something happens in this relationship, and that relationship never ends up in marriage, you will have no regret knowing that you didn't give them all of you. The moment you start to cohabitate, you start merging credit cards, you start getting one account, you start co-signing on loans. You're not married, but you're acting and living like married. Now, if you are here today and you're like, man, it's kind of shoot, I'm late to this, I already got kids, we've been living together like this for some time. What do I do? Go to court on Monday and get married.
[35:58]Now, you're like, well, I don't want to be married. Move out tonight. Why are you living together for the last five years if you don't want to be married? And if you're a woman, that should concern you. Guys love free stuff.
[36:15]Guys love to get all the benefits of wedding, marriage without any commitment. And ladies buy into that lie because the guy makes a promise that he doesn't keep. It's time to put him up to a test and say, hey, that's not cool. And if you are a young man, tonight, you need to have a conversation. If you're living with that young lady and you both are Christians, you're living in disobedience to God. I didn't come up with that, this is not me being mean and condemning anybody. This is the word of God and this is the nicest way I can say, you have a problem. God can't bless mess and you're in the mess. So you either do one, if you're already living together, if you're already got kids, listen, what's, you're already like husband and wife. What's waiting you, what's stopping you? Yes, it's not the best plan of action, but we have what we have today. Let's go and get married. Well, I don't want to be with that person. Well, that lady should have some strength to help you pack your bags tonight. Out of that house. Now, I've heard a complaint sometimes people say, well, we want, we're planning for the big wedding. You've been planning for five years. So you're committing sin for the sake of some kind of a big wedding. The Bible doesn't commands you to have a big wedding. Commands you to do it right. Go get married and then keep planning for your wedding.
[37:40]It might come, it might never come. Do it right. Make commitment. And if you're afraid of commitment, I'm going to tell you what you should fear more, that is to live in sin. Don't fear to do what's right. May God will give you the strength. But do what's right. That lady and those kids deserve that. And if you're a man and you don't do that, please, not please, just repent. Step up, be a man, be a man of God in that house. That family needs it, the wife needs it. And when you become a husband, it's not 50/50. I have my bank account, you have your bank account. Listen, when you're a husband, Jesus didn't take 50% of our sins, all of them. You give your whole life for that family. This is not what I can get out of it, this is what I give my life. I'm a leader, I'm a servant leader of this family. If she wants to stay, be a stay-at-home mom. I'm like, hey, I'm going to take two jobs, why? Because I'm here to be the protector, I'm here to be the provider, I'm here to be the priest. I'm not here just to get stuff that I cannot get somewhere else. I am here to give my life to build this family. As Jesus loves the bride, I'm loving mine. Number six, meet the family before you make the decision. He asked this lady, whose daughter are you? Tell me, please, is there room in your father's house for us to lodge? Don't make a deep commitment without meeting their family. Negative traits within their family may also exist in the person you're considering. Marriage is more than just two people coming together, you're joining someone's family. You're gaining a son, your family gains a daughter. Now, I understand, what I just said is culturally controversial because some of us come from families where mom and dad is not together. Some of us come from from families, we haven't spoken to our our family for a long time. But this curse, this mess, the running your family, it has to end with you. God wants us to build healthy families that when our daughter wants to get married, not some joker simply marries her and then we we get invited to the wedding. No, we want to be a part of this decision. This doesn't mean that it's our decision. No, we want to be a part of that. Why? Because we're going to be the grandparents. We want to help with babysitting, we want to come alongside because you're not just getting the daughter, we're gaining a son. And we want to know, who are we getting? And so every young lady, listen to me very carefully. When you're choosing a spouse, your parents are also getting a son. That's why you got to bring them into that conversation. It's not just your, it's my life. Well, not really, you're a part of a family. And I understand we have a strange relationships with our families, but that is not how God intended it and we need to start taking our family toward God so that we have healthy families and that our family is involved spiritual family and our physical family is involved in the process of walking with us and helping us to babysit. Come on somebody. Amen. You don't realize how important your family is until you get kids and you have no babysitter. And lastly, so he goes now, meets the family, the family likes him. He gives the gifts to all the family and they're having a good time over there and the family likes this guy as well. They're they're happy, Rebecca's happy, she wants to go and get married. And then he said to them, 'Do not hinder me, since the Lord has prospered my way, send me away so I may go to my master.' Number seven, last one, don't drag your feet. It's a right person. Feels right. Everything is good. Don't, don't stretch this to like three decades. Get married. I know we live in a culture today, five years dating, seven years dating. It's pretty much just an open door for a lot of fornication. What are you afraid of? Are you waiting for some kind of a spiritual sign? What for an angel to come and and like point her to you? The Bible says marry whom you like as long as they're in the Lord. The instructions are clear, the light is green, go. Propose and get married. Oh, but we don't have enough money. Well, you found money to date. What are you, what are you waiting for? Let's go. Like my dad met my mom and then two months later they were married. In fact, on the engagement party, my dad mistaken my mom for my mom's sister. He was talking to my aunt, like she was my mom. And uh, and she was like, hey, I think you're talking to the wrong sister. It's fine. Mistakes happen. But he did marry the right one. That was the most important thing. And over 40 years now they've been married and, you know, God bless her heart. And when my dad told me that first I was like, Dad, you're crazy, you know, how could you just just get married like that? But see, in those days, you you. Nowadays, you marry the person you love. In those days, you loved the person you married.
[43:20]Now, it's like, make sure you marry the one that you love. In those days, it was, make sure that you love the one that you got. Very different world. And they stayed, they learned, and they then they loved, not that my dad didn't love my mom, he did, and he continues to love her and he doesn't have a choice. He has God and then God says, love your wife. And wife submit to your husband. And you stay together, you grow your family, your children, and you, you become friends and and it becomes a beautiful thing when it's not just about you, it's about your family tree, it's about your grandchildren and others. And so, I just want to encourage you, if you're here today and you've been dating for a long time and you've been waiting for a sign, I am your sign.
[44:09]Dude, get married. I'm not ready. Who is?
[44:18]Unless you're 15 and a half. Then yeah, you're not ready. Are you 33 or you 27 or you 25? I'm just not ready. Trust me, nobody is. And the people who are ready, they don't get married. It's the ones that are not ready, they get married. You get ready as you are living together. Do you think who's ready to have children? Nobody is. But you have children and then you get ready as you have children and you mature and God will mature you, God will strengthen you, and you have a great local church that supports you and you're going to have a a group of people that will mature you on and walk with you and God's going to bless you. May this be the year, if you're a single person and you found somebody and maybe you just never to ask them on a date, may fear be broken, shame be broken and you go and you talk to them today. And you go get him on a date and you talk with him and don't propose right away. Don't be a crazy one. Like, well, pastor Vlad's dad and you know, married. No, no, no, that's not a recipe for how everybody should be doing it. But you like each other, you grow in with with each other, you understand each other, and all of the good stuff and next thing that happens when the time comes, you propose, when the time comes, you get married, you don't drag your feet. Settle down, have children, get a home, start a retirement center, start serving in church and do the retirement center, retirement fund. And then do ministry for God together with your family. Amen. I hope that this video helped you to grow in your walk with God. Imagine multiplying that impact through the world. Through this ministry, we've discipled over 160,000 students through our online school, created over 60 reading plans that over 2 million people have completed already. And published resources in 18 languages, but our heart is bigger than content. We're feeding orphans, building homes and partnering with missionaries on the front lines of the gospel. Would you consider becoming a monthly partner? Every dollar helps to reach, teach, and care for more people. Thank you.
