Failing Forward | Alicia Wade | TEDxLSCTomball

[0:05]The year was 1996 and all the odds were in my favor. I had medaled as a freshman the year prior at the Texas State Track and Field Meet. As a sophomore, I was set to win. The regional meet was just a formality. Every week, the drill was set a meet record and race myself. Now, that may seem odd, but focus was the drill and I really wanted to make sure that discipline was something that I had every week, rinse, repeat. Now, eliminate distractions, stay in your lane, keep your eye on the prize. Emmanuel was what my coach would say. But my motivation was the thrill of the competition. I enjoyed being a part of winning teams and I love doing my part on those teams. I love pushing myself beyond what others could imagine and it was really fun, I actually found it fun at this age to exceed what others thought couldn't be done. Now, I had friends that I had ran track with from across the city of Houston, the state of Texas and even the United States that went to schools that had programs. And for those that are athletes, you understand what that means. Their schools had a legacy of winning. It seemed year after year they were able to turn out talent. Well, I didn't attend one of those schools. So I couldn't let that limitation pull back my potential. What may sound like arrogance that I'm describing was actually humility because what I did know was that my very best, my meet records, may not even place in the meets or even practices that my peers had on a regular basis. Now, I can remember every detail of the day as if I were watching it before my eyes, because everything was so familiar. I had been running track since 1988 for eight years, half my life at this point. Running was in my DNA. Now, like all other spring days, the freshly cut grass was there, and for me, if I had to if Track and Field had a scent, I'm pretty sure that this would be it. Now, for all of my local Texans, we know that it would not be a day in Texas without the heat and humidity there to remind us who was boss, right? But the other girls were sitting around or other athletes were sitting around stretching and warming up for their events. The stands were packed with people that were anticipating the events ahead, but there were certain races that made people pay attention. The 100 meters was one of those races. It was my favorite.

[2:46]I was in lane four, middle of the track, which meant I was the top seed. As I was setting my blocks, taking off my warmup attire, the murmurs from the crowd begin to have an alertness, and anticipation illuminating with energy. I had to collect myself. I began to think about having a really great start to the race. Then I began to think every step throughout the race, all the way across the finish line. This was something a ritual that I did before every race. As the other girls got their blocks organized, I sat there and I'm looking down the track and I'm thinking about getting a PR because a personal record would have been great today. In fact, I was sure this is what was needed to secure a top lane that day for the state meet. And secretly inside, I really wanted to go into the state meet with the best time regardless of classification, school or grade level. The official gives the mark for us to gives us command for us to take our mark. Then we get started and there is a false start. Now, for the runners, you know this is equivalent of a file or a demerit, right? And at this time in Track and Field, you could get two of these before you were disqualified. Now, that may not seem like a lot, but imagine eight people getting the chance at two mistakes. And why this would be annoying is because some people use this as a strategy. They would do this to distract others because any misstep, any little bit of hesitation in a race this short could cost you. But we're off, clean start. Yes, I feel really strong out of the blocks. Yes. Then I began to hear the crowd get really loud. The sound is almost like a heat, right? Then the excitement is almost like a wind pushing energy under our feet. 30, 40, 50 meters, I feel myself gaining momentum with each step as I dig my spikes into the track. And it was always at this point in the race that I would gauge if I had enough to edge out my competition. So I still feel like I had more to give, but today was different. I hear a loud pop, almost like a gun. But it wasn't the official, actually it wasn't even external, the sound was internal. Then the sound was followed by the sharpest pain I have ever felt in my life. My hamstring began to throb and it felt like a rubber band that had been stretched far, far and it popped. And by pop, I mean tore, it had torn. And at this point, I'm thinking, I'm almost halfway through this thing. Can I fake it out? Can I finish? Do I have enough? But my stride quickly turned to a hobble. Then my hobble to a hop. And I heard everyone gasp, and I actually felt what they saw, despair. Now, I don't actually remember a uniform color, a face or what order people pass me by. But I it was just too much for my 16-year-old mind to even process because in a matter of seconds, my dreams had passed me by. So what do you do from here? I collect myself, and as soon as I crossed the line, it was almost as if I had been drowning and someone was there to I mean, just the numbness disappears and my coach and trainer are there to pull me from this fog that I was in. The urgent matter began patching me up and diagnosing if I were hurt or injured. Because there was a common understanding between us, a haste as we're moving really quickly that the season just could not end here. So as I'm sitting there, I'm thinking, you know, this is actually very familiar. I've seen this time and time again, but if I'm honest with you guys today, I never conceptualized that it could be me. Me sitting on the trainer's table, needing to get electric current shot through my leg, needing a cortisone shot, heck, losing. I'm sitting here realizing you are never too good to lose. In fact, sometimes you do lose. Sometimes, regardless of the odds, regardless of your preparation, you lose. And sometimes that means you lose to people that you shouldn't. Talk about humbling. Well, failure is kind of that way. You don't necessarily see it coming, but you have to admit that it's always around and the odds are always apparent. But this was a pivotal moment for me because what I did know was I had a lot of questions, but I had to realize that nothing was going to be the same. I needed to fail forward. I needed to fail quickly. Lean in and give it my all regardless of how it may turn out. Because what I want you guys to understand was that the start of the race that day, I was starting at victory. But after this experience, how I saw that was so different. Because no one said it was going to be okay or even asked, are you okay? Because they didn't know the answers. Now when I think back about this experience, they didn't ask those questions because they didn't want to know the answer. Like, let's be real, who wants to hear, I'm not okay, and I don't think I will be, especially if that answer impacts a plan you have for that person or yourself? Well, despite all of this, I was able to put one foot in front of the other and qualify for the state meet in the 400 meters and the 4x400 meter relay that day. How? I don't know, but I did win the title as a sophomore. Not in my favorite race or on the terms that I thought, but I did PR. I got my personal record. But I I realized that success and failure are inevitable. And you know what? They also can coexist. I've always wondered why people are afraid to label things this way, as a failure. It's almost as if intent foreshadows the outcome, or better yet, if we don't label it that, people won't notice that it's a failure. Well, ignoring it won't change the outcome, right? And I'm not here today to suggest that failure is a good thing, but what I am saying is that you do have to process it. The truth is it happens. So how do you prepare? How do you get comfortable being uncomfortable? Well, I've studied this a lot and I feel that even the most talented people need more than their giftedness. In fact, there's a book that I really like by John Maxwell called Beyond Talent. And he suggests that people need more than their talent, just that. Because if talent was enough, then talent would always equal success. And I'm here today and you probably have your own experiences as well to relate to it doesn't always turn out like that. And in my opinion, I feel like if you have passion, persistence, grit, ability to bounce back and you match that up with your talent, you are able to achieve your goals in a whole new way. In fact, I believe that the execution of your goals is very different than having the potential to achieve them. Now, what I wasn't aware of in 1996 that I am in 2019 is the phenomenon of outliers. What is an outlier to be a person or thing situated away from the norm? Now, let's personify that, if you don't have a person you can think of, let me give you a definition. What does it mean to be a person that cannot be used to draw conclusions? Now, in Malcolm Gladwell's book, outliers, a story of suggests, I'm sorry, a story of success, he examines the world around successful people. What sets them apart? What sets the stage for their achievement? Well, he suggests that these factors are just as important as talent itself because it creates the condition for success. Now, how do you do that? You may be thinking. Well, I believe that sometimes that condition is accepting that now is the only time that matters. I have all the tools and resources I need to achieve the task ahead. Then I feel like you can think about everything you've experienced up until this point that equips you, right? And you can begin to channel what the more is, what the beyond talent is for you. And when things don't make sense, failing forward will. When failing forward is the only option you have, you begin to realize that your best assets can't be seen until failure removes the distractions. Thank you.