[0:00]Welcome to Hey Tablo. About 10 days ago, I posted on our community section on our YouTube, I might do an advice session. And a lot of people left comments, a lot of people need advice right now. So we begin the advice session.
[0:20]Hey Tablo. Ah, I'm going to eat as I talk. Just a little bit because I'm dying. Hold on. I'll try to eat as quietly as possible, but also, you know, one of the things that solves problems is uh, is ASMR. Okay, let's begin. The first, my stomach is growling. This is why. What would you rather listen to, my stomach growling or a little bit of, you know, chicken in my mouth? Okay. The first one is, at what age should I stop being a K-Pop stan or as I like to call it, 'I sponsor seven boys from Korea.' lol. Okay, this is clearly, clearly an army issue. Clearly BTS. For context, I am 36 and my coworkers roll their eyes anytime they hear my playlist or when I get excited about a comeback or attending a concert. I am starting to think maybe I should stop my sponsorship and focus on something else. Advice? To all the people out there that feel like they're not acting their age because they stand something or someone or, you know, some kind of cultural thing or, uh, some hobby. Let me just say, I'm older than this person that posted this. But I stand a lot of things. I still do a lot of things that, quote unquote, aren't things that I should be doing at my age. For example, I, I, you know, I collected Lego minifigures, like those Lego people. And I even went so far as to buy custom ones. Because Lego doesn't officially create certain characters unless they have a license, but there's these artists that create Legos of, like, like, for example, John Wick. I've like the Godfather and stuff like this. And I set up this whole thing in my, in my, there's like, this, this display in my room, that my wife actually bought for me because she's like, this guy seems to be really into this now, right? So she actually bought me, like, a glass, uh, display. And I, I set up an entire movie world in there, like a multiverse. There's, like, there's, like, a dinosaur from Jurassic Park and all Lego. And I started, like, I started printing my own signs and stuff to, like, I made a movie theater and I printed my own signs. And, like, at one point, I looked in the mirror and I hated myself. I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? Like, what is it I'm going through right now? Like, what is this? Is this a midlife crisis? And I got so worried, right? And I started this Lego thing with, uh, my daughter and I fell into it way deeper than her. She had already grown out of it and I was still on it. And I was like, this must be my midlife crisis. Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Like, I'm, like, wasting time and a little bit of money on this. Like, what am I doing? And then I was hanging out with, uh, some hyungs that are older than me, and they're all, like, business people and very accomplished people, right? And I'm with them and, you know, they're talking about their hobbies and it's like cigars, collecting wine, um, like whiskey, playing golf. Some of them were talking about, like, cars. None of which I understand or care about. Like, I don't do any of those things. I don't even, I don't drive. You can give me, like, cheap wine from 7-Eleven and I won't know the difference between that and something that's like $10,000. Like, I just can't tell the difference. It'll be totally wasted on me, right? So I'm, like, listening to them and I'm, like, okay, they're clearly acting their age. But then I thought about it and I'm, like, they're spending way more money than me. On this stuff. That is as arbitrary as collecting Legos, or, like, collecting seashells. Do you know what I mean? Like, collecting wine is just, just as random and weird if you think about it. Because, like, it's, it's, like, it's, like, a beverage. Like, you drink it and it's gone. Cigars, you smoke it and it's gone.
[4:56]Like, it's all disposable, just as, you know, Legos are. And I was thinking about it and I was, like, you know, it's just, I just happened to be doing this right now. So I'm saying, uh, Brittany, I think sponsoring seven boys from Korea is way better than collecting wine. You know, or, you know, collecting golf clubs. Right? Like, these golf clubs are not, like, breathing individuals with souls, with, like, artistry, with, like, choreography, with, like, dreams and passions, with, like, story arcs. But your, you know, the, the, the seven boys from Korea, they did their own, like, show on, like, comeback show on Netflix. Do, do a billionaire's golf clubs have their own show on Netflix? No, they do not. So, proudly stand what you stand. Age has nothing to do with it. I know people who, uh, deliberately switched over from liking, uh, hip-hop music to liking jazz when they hit 40. Because they were so self-conscious about liking hip-hop. And if it was a clean switch, whatever, but they still listen to hip-hop. I know it. They, they're listening to hip-hop at home, but when they go out, they, they, when someone asks, uh, hey, do you still like hip-hop? Oh, no, I don't listen to that anymore. I listen to jazz. And I'm, like, I know you're lying. I know you're lying. Name one jazz song. And they're, like, Miles Davis. And I'm, like, Miles Davis is a person. Miles Davis is the museum. Name one jazz song. And, like, I'm talking about two cuts. Don't live a lie. Okay? Proudly stand BTS, proudly stand whoever you stand, proudly stand the hobbies you stand. It's okay. Because moving on from that to do something more your age or to do something more, like, classy, just costs more money. And is less fun, to be honest. You get, like, sunburnt. Okay, here's the next one. How to make friends in your 30s if you are an introvert? And another person, uh, commented, How to make friends as an adult, especially if you're fresh out of school and have an office job with much older coworkers? A lot of people asked about, uh, being able to make friends when you're older. I think it might be because Epik High, my group, is known to be, like, friends and old. Friends while old. So, a lot of people ask questions like this. But what the hell, Grace? You're louder than the chicken in my mouth. It's okay, it's okay, you just covered for me. So, Saint Sara 9, there's two problems in the question. And they're not really, um, connected if you think about it. One is, she wants to know how to make friends in your 30s and one is, if you're an introvert. Two very separate things, right? If you're an introvert, it doesn't matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 100, 20, 5. If you're, well, if you're an introvert, you're an introvert. And, uh, so let's first tackle the introvert problem. I'm going to flat out, you know, say, I'm not an introvert. Obviously, uh, I'm an extrovert. I'm ENFP. So I might not understand fully what goes on in in in an introvert's mind. And, uh, just to, like, put out a disclaimer, I'm going to try to give advice as, like, an uncle or, like, a hyung or an oppa or a ajushy or a dad. I'm going to give advice, but all of the advice I give today is coming from, like, experience or, like, something I would do, you know, it's just coming from a, like, an individual's mind. So, do not take anything I say today as, like, absolute gospel and run with it, okay? I am not a professional. And to be honest, I don't even trust the professionals. Okay? So, if I don't trust the professionals, how untrustworthy am I? So, don't take what I say as, like, absolute truth. I'm just going to try to help. Okay. Although I'm not an introvert and I don't understand introverts too well. I do have an introvert in my group, Mithra Jin, and I do have an introvert in my home, my wife. My wife doesn't talk a lot. She only says what needs to be said. She also said, it's not that I'm, you know, I don't like to talk, it's that you never give me a chance. But that's besides the point. Anyway, she's introverted, and Mithra Jin is introverted. Like, he only talks when, you know, he's, like, super interested in something and he'll, like, have a spurt of a lot of talking and then, like, he'll go quiet and, uh, probably sleeping, you know? Actually, I'm not even sure if it's because he's an introvert or it's because he's lazy, because he's both. But, first of all, the introvert part, I can't really help you with. It's just something that, like, I don't know, Grace, how do you deal with it? How do you do it? Because you're, like, one of the biggest introverts I've ever seen in my life. Really?
[10:48]Yeah. I think I, if I'm in a room with introverts, I would be the person to initiate something. Okay. So you're to them you might be a little extroverted. But it's a risk. That's what I'm saying. It's always a risk because, like, I can see what introverts go through. Like, you guys basically, like, are afraid to say, hey, first or, like, initiate the, uh, the relationship or the, or the friendship because you are afraid of how the other person will react or, like, you're, whatever you say will, you know, just not land. It's, it's all of the above, really. Like, all the fears. Oh my God, it must be so difficult living as an introvert. Because extroverts, we just, you know, we just go with it. We don't even know we're, like, high-fiving someone we just, like, we just ran into, like, someone we don't know at all, right? And then we just live with the regrets. Like, we have a lot of regrets. Introverts, I guess, have less regrets than us, you know, because you don't expose yourself to as much risk as we do because we extroverts constantly, uh, create situations to regret. So, Sarah, you have to be at least relatively extroverted, like Grace here. Okay? Understand that you need to put in a little bit of work. So, that's how you handle the introvert part. And the 30s part, you need to start, like, doing things, I guess. If you think about it, I met my lifelong friends, Epik High, I met them late. I met them after college. You know, I had just graduated. I was, like, legal age to drink and drive. No, no, like, drink separately and drive separately. Luckily, I don't even drive. So, but what I'm saying is I was over 21 when I met them, I think. It might have been difficult for me to make friends if I was doing some kind of work where, like, I wasn't really vibing with the work. But because I was lucky enough to do something that I was passionate about, I got to do it with other people that were passionate about it as well. So, even if we weren't passionate about each other, we were often in situations where we had a common passionate goal, right? Like, a shared thing. And I think that was what got us through the first, like, five to maybe 10 years. We might not have actually even been as close as people think. Or as we thought. Like, we, we may have not been, like, friends. We may have been more interested in the thing that we were doing together. I might have been passionate about the art aspect of it. Mithra might have been passionate about, like, the fun part of it or, like, as a hobby. Two Cuts might have been interested completely in the financial part. I need these motherfuckers for money. But what I'm saying is, because we had that shared passion, even if, like, we had different reasons for loving what we did, because it kept us together for so long, we eventually ended up being friends to the point where even if we one day lose our passion for that common thing, like, even if we stop doing music or we stop creating stuff or we stop doing things together, we'll still be friends. So, I think you need to, like, find hobbies, the, the, the older you get. I think that's probably why a lot of people golf. Um, I seriously, I, I, like, everyone's trying to get me to golf and I won't, but, uh, I think the, one of the reasons why they go out there at, like, 8:00 in the morning or 7:00 in the morning to, to golf, uh, in the sun and stuff is because they, they sort of, like, have a longing to make, like, friends and meet people. I, I think that exists in people that are even in their, like, 50s and 60s. So, I think expose yourself to more hobbies or, uh, new experiences and maybe, maybe that'll help. Like, the, the second commenter, Hannah, she said that she's at an office job, uh, with much older coworkers. Okay, I'm not sure if you can make friends there. I'm going to be honest. So, but if you're fresh out of school, like, there's a lot of people in the city that you're in that are also fresh out of school. You know the, the concept of, like, third space, like, coffee shops, or, like, you know, favorite bakeries or, like, restaurants or, like, the gym or, like, you know, mountain climbing or rock climbing, something somewhere that is not the home and that is not the workplace, right? So, everybody needs a third place where, uh, you run into people, you find people with common interest. And I guess that, that's why, like, coffee shops, like, marketed as third places, uh, do really well. Because people don't want to become friends with their coworkers. And that's hard. Like, in an office space, it's, it's probably hard. What I'm saying is, try different things. Like, it's less about trying to make friends, but you should be more focused on trying to do new things even when you're in your 30s. Try to learn and experience new things in your 30s and 40s and 50s and as a result, you might not end up with the hobby, you might not stick through with the hobby, but at the end of it, what you'll have is a couple of friends. Is what I'm trying to say. Uh, there's a bunch about jobs as expected. How do I figure out what I want to do in my life career-wise so how did you know that it was music for you because I always feel like my interests are changing almost every day and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in my life meanwhile everyone around me seems to have their whole future already planned out. Love you from Scotland! Love you back from Seoul. First of all, let me just say, when it feels like everyone around you has everything figured out, like their whole future figured out, they're either lying or it just looks that way.
[16:53]I know this because tons of people online think that I have stuff figured out, that I don't have any worries or anxiety. I am so confused about what I'm doing, like, 99% of the time. This morning I woke up, I was stretching, and I was, like, I don't even know where this voice came from, but something in my mind was, like, I'm fucked. And I was, like, huh? As I was stretching, I was, like, what? And I was, like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what, like, have you even, like, started, like, thinking about, like, estate planning? And I'm, like, estate planning? What the fuck do you mean? And you're, like, you know, you, like, as you get older, you don't know what's going to happen to you. Like, have you thought about, like, how, like, you, like, you're going to, like, take care of your family after you're gone? And I'm, like, that's called estate planning? I thought, like, estate planning is for rich people. And, like, I'm, like, what the, why am I thinking about this while I'm stretching? I'm, like, that all the time. I'm, like, that all the time. So let me just say, people that look like they have things figured out, don't have things figured out. We're all mortal. But to get back to the question about how did I know it was music, I didn't. I didn't know that what I was going to end up doing was music. Long time ago, I published a book. It was a collection of short stories that I wrote from, like, when I was 19, like, 18, 19 to, like, when I graduated from college, until when I was, like, 20 or 21. And it was a collection of short stories. And, in, in, you know how books, when you open it, there's, like, the author's description and it's quite often written by the author, like, to, to, like, introduce themselves. And I actually said that I, I can't remember totally, but I, I think I said that I wanted to be a writer, but I slipped into music. I think I used that, that term, like, I, I kind of slipped and fell into music. You know, music was just one of my hobbies, not even, like, the main one. I wanted to be a film director, I wanted to, like, write novels, write screenplays. And I was so, so certain that I was going to be either a director or someone creating movies.
[19:09]And probably why I'm so, like, into film, you know? And why I can get 62.5% of all my Oscar picks right. Because, because that was my original passion and I was really knowledgeable about film. I even worked as, like, an assistant director. But, uh, what happened was I was working on this documentary movie and I was basically, like, you know, I was basically the guy who gets coffee. Anyways, I was there on set and one of the guys that was investing in the movie, like, one of the investors came to visit and to see what's going on. And saw me, like, with my headphones on, like, kind of, like, mumbling to myself and wanted to know what I was listening to. I played him, like, what I was listening to. I was actually listening to one of the songs I made. He heard it. Turns out he had all this money because he owned a huge record label in Korea. And that's how he was investing in the movie. So he wanted me to, like, become a musician and I said no because I was still in school and I had no, I had no desire to become, like, a musician or an entertainer at all. So I said no, but a few years later, when my hobby, like, music hobby became something that I was a little more passionate about, I remembered him and, uh, through that I took my first steps into, like, meeting people here. So, I literally just slipped into it, kind of. It was, like, all by chance, but also I was ready, though. You know, if I wasn't making music for no other reason but, uh, you know, I'm passionate about it, right? Like, I wasn't being paid to make this music, and at the time, like, we didn't have SoundCloud and stuff. So, the songs I made, like, no one listened to it. Maybe some people on campus, maybe, like, 20 friends that I, you know, passed it around to. But I was working hard, regardless, because I like doing it. And because I was ready, when, when, you know, serendipity happened, when someone with a record label was investing in the movie that I was working as, like, the lowest on the rung at, I was in the right place at the right time because I was doing the right things, that I was ready, right? So, you figure it out when it happens. Stop focusing on, like, whether or not this is the right thing for you or whether or not there is a right thing for you and do what right now in the moment makes you feel valuable. Like, makes you feel like you have something to contribute. Like, or it's just some, some, some kind of puzzle that you, you, you're obsessed with that you want, like, some people become master Rubik's Cube competitors. How did they end up there? They didn't, like, they weren't, like, four and the teacher's, like, what do you guys want to be when you grow up? I want to be the Rubik's Cube world champion. I don't think anybody really does that. Uh, it's just something that they, they like doing. So they kept doing it and then eventually they, you know, they have the world record. So what I'm saying is, uh, don't try to figure it out. It's, it's not figureoutable. And did I know that I would become a YouTuber?
[22:28]And a podcaster, when I was rapping my ass off on stage? No. None of our fans even expected this. But, you know, it just sort of happened. It's just something we wanted to do and it felt like something that our team would have fun doing and we did it and our team was having fun and then other people found it fun and then people liked it and then it grew into this thing and created new paths. What advice would you give someone that is starting life over in their 40s? Oh, hold on, give me one second. I actually have this written down. Samuel L. Jackson, Nick Fury of the Marvel Universe, the leader, okay? He didn't become a household name until he was 45. His breakout performance in Pulp Fiction was 45. Vera Wang, the, uh, wedding dress that everybody wants, right? Before entering the fashion industry, she was a figure skater and a journalist at Vogue. She didn't open the, uh, bridal boutique until she was 40. Tony Morrison, Nobel Prize winning author, didn't publish the first novel until 39. Okay? So, didn't find success until the 40s. Stan Lee was 43. He was a struggling comic writer at a time when comics weren't even a big thing. Achieved success at 43. Like, there's way more people if you look it up, uh, that found success in their 40s, 50s, some even in their 60s, right? Like, a lot of people pivot. The founder of Red Bull, I believe he was just working at some company until he was, like, in his 40s. He was sent on, like, a work trip to, I think, Thailand, uh, from his company that he didn't even enjoy the work, but he went there and then he discovered a drink. And he was, like, if we make this carbonated and sell it globally, like, I think this will work in the West. He became, uh, the Red Bull guy, like, in his 40s. So, a lot of people pivot around this age. I heard the average age of, uh, billionaires or entrepreneurs or multimillionaires. The age that they pivot at is sometimes in their 40s or early 50s. So, yes, you can definitely start life over in your 40s and it's actually the best time to do so. I started my life over again in, in my 40s. I became a YouTuber and podcaster. But I also started my life, uh, over again in my 30s. I was a very successful musician here in Korea. And when I hit 30, I, I had my career completely destroyed by people who just, just hated me. So, I had to restart my entire career. And I did it. And right now, uh, there's articles saying, like, Epik High is at their prime right now. They're having another, you know, leeches, which is, like, prime, right? But this is, like, happening in our mid-40s. And I guarantee you with the amount of passion I have, I will have a resurgence again in my 50s and in my 60s and in my 70s and 80s. Like, it, it, none of that will matter. Like, the age won't matter. So, uh, it's okay to pivot and just do what you feel like, uh, is what your life needs right now. Like, don't think about, like, oh, I'm 40-something. Don't think about that. You can always start over again. Hey Tablo, did you ever feel insecure about choosing to study the humanities instead of something that's visibly 'useful'. I am a fine art major and I love my classes and work but worries about the future make me doubt myself a lot. If you ever felt that, then how did you deal with it? My family are first generation immigrants too, so that brings a different pressure to be immediately successful and prove myself. We have an entire episode dedicated to that. Okay, go to our YouTube channel or go on our, uh, podcast page and you will see an episode saying, 'Tech Bros watch out, the humanities gang is coming for you.' The title says it all. Just, just go listen to that episode. It is literally about how unuseful I am. And how everyone in this room, uh, also studied something that is, quote unquote, completely useless. Uh, we, we here are in the top 10 most regretted majors or fields of study. But we turned out fine because, ironically, the useless things we learned and were passionate about became useful in 2026. Stories, content, entertainment, like, humans making humans laugh, uh, and humans making mistakes, but making it entertaining, became something of value. And more and more, as the machines take over, I believe our useless, shitty majors or fields of study will become valuable. So, go watch that episode. I'm not saying engineering or STEM is useless. You guys, we need you. We need you to keep us alive. We need you to cure diseases. We need you to defeat the viruses and stuff. I'm sorry, I'm talking like an idiot. I'm not a stem person. How to get over imposter syndrome? I am an artist and I often struggle with feeling like I deserve any of the success I've gotten or that my art is up to par. How do you go about dealing with it?
[28:20]And people commented, ooh, I like this topic. I need advice on this too. I've just started a full-time adult job and I'm definitely feeling imposter syndrome, especially because there's so many parts of the job that I still don't know what I'm supposed to be doing and everyone else is so busy I'm too hesitant to ask anyone for help. So imposter syndrome is, like, feeling like I'm a fraud, feeling like I don't belong here, feeling, like, why am I here? Like, is it luck? Like, this surreal feeling is getting in the way of them, like, proceeding, right?
[28:47]Um, let me just say, if I'm any indication, quote unquote, successful people feel this too. They feel this too. Maybe even more. I remember when I first, like, had a hit song, like, when, um, our song, Fly came out. You know, when I wrote that song in my room, like, I had no idea how many people would listen to it. It was literally me and a laptop. And nobody other than me was, was hearing what I was creating.
[29:19]So there was no way for me to even know if it was going to do well. I didn't know if it was crappy or if it was, like, I just had no idea. I just, I just made it. Like, the, the first part, like, 'himdeul jyo' like, I didn't know if it sounded corny or, like, stupid. Like, I, I didn't know. It came out. Song was a massive success. It was used by that game, FIFA, that year. Like, it was, it's part of the soundtrack. Like, it became, like, a global thing. And when that happened, like, people think that, like, you have a long come-up and then you, uh, you make it and it just feels good and you're, like, celebrating and, like, popping champagne. No. I was, like, what the hell's going on? Like, this can't be real. This, this feels weird. I don't know how to keep up with this. Like, I feel like, this was a fluke. So, when the next, um, you know, when I was up at Bat next and I had to make the next album, I was, like, I don't, I don't know how I did it. Like, I, I can't, I can't recreate, like, what I did. Like, I, I, I really don't know how I made a hit song. Like, it must have been, like, luck. Like, it must have been a fluke. And I was, like, killing myself over it. So, that's why it took so long to drop the next album. But the next album had Love Love Love on it. It had Fan on it. And the album after that had Umbrella on it, had One on it. All those songs were even bigger hits. And I swear every single time, as we reached a different level of success or the different, the next stage, every time I was unsure about my footing. I was, like, what is going on? Or, like, is this, like, Truman Show? Like, are people pretending? Like, am I going to wake up and was this, like, it's just, it was, like, a dream? Or, like, quite often, I felt, like, you know, I, I, I wasn't me. But, to dare give advice on this, because so many people are dealing with it, like, it's hard to give advice, but if you are in your job or in your workplace or somewhere, or if you're an athlete, uh, whatever you do, like, if you're listening right now and you feel like you don't deserve the position you are currently holding, or you don't deserve any of the, um, success or any of the fruits of your work right now and you just feel like you lucked out or you're a fluke and you're going to lose your footing soon when people realize that you don't have it together, that you have no idea what you're doing and if that fear is, like, making you hesitant about taking the next step. Let me just say, you have to reframe your thinking. You have to stop worrying about whether or not other people see you as having it together. You have to stop thinking about whether or not you look like you're in control or you look like you know what you're doing. You have to only think about, can I do something today, uh, that helps someone? Or can I do something today that's a little better than yesterday? Can I do something today that, you know, I can be passionate about, that I can be proud about? Only think about that. I think that is the only reason why Epik High or, or me personally, like Tablo. I think the only reason why 20 years later I can keep going is because I literally rarely, rarely, like, I, I don't care about whether or not people think I'm successful or people think I know what I'm doing or people think I'm good at what I'm doing. I don't care. And, and to be honest, they don't care. Nobody really cares about what you're doing. They're all busy with their own thing. Like, nobody, no, like, even when you're winning an award or, like, you, you're the, you're the it person of the moment and everyone, it feels like everyone cares. They don't. They don't care about you. They have their own things to worry about. So, stop thinking about that and just, you just have to, like, you just have to do the thing today because you like doing it.
[33:28]Because it's, like, because you, you, you feel like you can help. So, to, to make that even easier to understand. If you're at a, a job, like, this person who commented, um, if you're in, in a part of a group project, just try to only focus on, what can I do, what little can I do? Like, tiny thing can I do to help this project we're working on right now? And regardless of whether or not I get recognized for it, regardless of whether or not, you know, I look good or I, you know, I look bad. Don't think about any of that and just be, like, okay, this project needs what? Okay, what can I do? Okay, even if it's me just, you know, going over there and printing 400 pages for this guy, do it. Just do it. Just focus on that. And eventually people will also recognize slowly what you've been doing. But I'm just saying, I go through imposter syndrome all the time. I told you, I was, like, stretching and in my mind, I was, like, you're fucked. Huh? What? I'm fucked? Are you stupid?
[34:44]Right? So, I think that kind of helped. And the second thing that really helped is you need friends who stop you from overthinking.
[34:59]Like, you need friends who are so basic that it makes you look weird for thinking at all. Like, not even overthinking. You, you, you need friends that make you feel like an idiot for thinking.
[35:27]For example, on our YouTube show, Epik High, we went to Costco because we were going to, like, use this fire stove oven, like, the outdoor, what is that? Fire, the outdoor, like, oven kind of thing. And we needed, uh, logs. We needed fire logs. And Two Cuts went and got, uh, these logs, uh, that didn't look right to me. And it, you can see it in the episode. Like, it wasn't even cut out. I said, I say, 'Are these, are you sure we can use these?' 'Are you sure we can use these? Don't we need, like, actual wooden, like, logs? Like, I'm not sure we can use these.' And everyone was, like, 'Yeah, yeah, we can use them.' It's fine. It's fine. They're, like, 'Oh, it works.' This is the, and even our, our producer here said it was fine. Okay? We're, like, okay. So we go over there. Two Cuts and, like, shoves it all in there. Fucking lights it on fire. Inferno. Okay? It was basically a volcano. It was, like, it was completely, And the whole time, I'm, like, and then, Mithra and took his command. They're looking at it and they're, like, 'How could this happen?' They're, like, 'What went wrong?' And I'm, like, I, I, I said, I said it, like, three times. Interestingly enough, I was made to look like an idiot.
[36:44]Because I was, like, I told you this would happen. We, like, what are we going to do now? We should have, they're, like, 'Wait, we'll just wait.' 'Until the fire goes out.' And I'm, like, that's going to take, like, five hours. They're, like, 'Then we'll wait five hours.'
[37:00]I looked like the, uh, anal one. And then I, and then I was, like, maybe I'm an idiot for overthinking. Maybe, what's the point of overthinking? Oh, by the way, we, we were safe. Like, we, we, we sorted it all out. Uh, luckily, the fire was in a brick oven. So, uh, it went out pretty quickly. Uh, there was nothing nearby that would, uh, get on fire because I cleared it all before we, we put the logs in. Okay? Because I was overthinking. So, I'm just saying, okay, let me just say, being an overthinker is not a bad thing. But only having overthinkers is a bad thing. I think you need an overthinker and you need to balance it out with with, uh, a friend that, you know, does a little bit of underthinking and a friend that does no thinking. And if you have a trio like that, you will, you will be safe. Like, everything will, like, the overthinker will plan out, like, 100 things that don't need to be planned out or worried about. And then the underthinker will, like, be, like, you know, who cares? And then the, the other think, the non-thinker will just be sleeping. So, like, it'll all work out somehow. You just need, you just need, you know, a good blend of friends. Uh, here's another one. Englishman and a man's best friend. I'm in a serious relationship with my British boyfriend. Now that I'm in my 30s, I can't help but think about marriage and having kids. I know it's looking a bit far into the future, but I'd really love for our child to be bilingual in both English and Korean. Uncle Tablo, how did you go about teaching Haru languages with that in mind? Uh, T Uncle Tablo, she called me a 'Tajushe.' Like, Tablo and 'Ajaushy,' 'Tajushe.' How did you go about teaching Haru languages with that in mind?
[38:59]Okay. And there's another one. 'Your relationship with Haru feels really close and genuine. Sometimes look like a really strong friendship, too. How did you nurture that over time, and what advice would you give to new parents of daughters?' For the bilingual thing, I mean, if, if your boyfriend speaks English and you speak Korean fluently, as, like, I can see, your child will have no problem being bilingual. But you kind of have to balance it out. Like, my, my wife speaks to Haru in Korean, like, completely in Korean. And I speak to Haru in English, like, quite often. We, we'll go back and forth, but we didn't start that, like, right away.
[39:50]Like, I, I waited until she was open to the idea of me speaking English to her. So, but once, once that happened, like, she picked it up super fast.
[40:11]And, as all kids do, like, kids pick up languages extremely fast. Um, so if you want them to be bilingual, just, uh, take different roles and speak to her and, and your kid will pick it up. Don't worry. Seriously, don't worry. About my relationship with Haru feeling very close and genuine and how I nurtured it. I don't know. I don't, I don't really know how I did it. But let me just say, like, we really are friends. Like, it's not like we're like friends. We, we are friends. Like, I just happened to be your dad. But she really considers me, like, a friend and she will quite often just, like, not hang out with her friends because she wants to hang out with me. And I'll ask her, like, I'll be, like, that, you know, you don't want to hang out with your friends? Like, it's the weekend. And she'll say, like, well, it's more fun, like, hanging out with you, Dad. So, I appreciate that so much. And just, I, I, I know she makes me so happy. But all I'm saying is, okay, it's hard for parents to know the difference. But, like, as a, as a parent, you need to know when your kid needs a dad and when your kid needs a friend. And, unfortunately, the parents of my generation, like, our parents, they, they didn't know the difference. Like, they didn't really care to know the difference. They just assume that, like, you, you never needed a friend. You only needed, uh, a parent, like, and a strong parent, too, right? To tell you what to do and to punish you when you don't do it. But, I, I think because I, I, I grew up like that, I never knew, I never expected to become a dad. Like, I didn't, like, ever, like, when I was, like, you know, a teenager or in my 20s, I didn't know I was going to get married so early and have a kid. Or that I was going to be, like, a girl dad. I didn't know that. But, I always knew in my heart that, like, if I ever become a parent, I'm going to try to be the dad I needed. Like, the parent I actually needed. So, when I became, like, uh, like a dad, I, I think I just sort of instinctively knew, uh, when Haru, like, uh, at certain moments when Haru needed a friend and at certain moments when Haru needed, like, a dad to, like, say, hey, Haru, this is wrong. Or, Haru, like, this is not, not good for you. Like, you need, you need to consider, maybe doing this, right? And at times where, even though she might need, like, a stern warning, I just see in her face that right now she needs a friend. Like, right now, she just needs someone to hear her out. Right or wrong, just hear, let her, like, say all that she needs to say and just vent and cry and just, just hug her and then, like, make her laugh, right? So, I, I just, I'm going to sin, sin, when she needs what. And I think kids appreciate that. So, I think that's why we're really good friends. If you grew up wishing your parents were more like this or more like that, or you looked at friends' parents and sometimes, you know, you, you felt like a bad person for thinking it, but sometimes you wished that your parents were like them, more like your friends' parents. If you had moments like that, just be that parent to somebody. Like, when it's your turn, that's, that's basically what I did. May, maybe that'll help, maybe it won't, but, I, I don't know, that seems to be working for me.
[46:44]Anyways, I ate four pieces of chicken as I was doing this. This is a terrible idea to eat while you do a podcast because you're not going to be able to eat. Okay, I'm going to go eat now. Hey Tablo is going to be here next week, too. So, if you are going to join us and if you want this to last, please go rate, review, give it stars and, uh, hit the hype button here. Share it with your friends. Thank you.
