[0:00]Hi guys. Um, I just got out of the shower. My hair is still wet and I decided to make a video today about detachment and why I think detachment in life is so important. Not only detachment from people but also detachment from things, situations, whatever. Why is the detachment so important? First of all, if you are attached to something, if you are attached to a person, if you are attached to a situation, that thing controls you. So that person, that situation can make you feel any type of way. If they do not text you, if they do not reply to you, they can make you feel unhappy and the same way. If they do give you attention, they can make you feel happy. But that means that you're completely powerless over yourself and over your own emotions. This can get so dangerous to a point where a person can take their own life because they're so attached to someone or so attached to a situation. I think this is a very important subject to talk about. Also, if you're in attached to something that might have happened before in the past and that's the only thing you hang on to then, you can also not move on in your life. So in order, we need to completely detach and we need to realize a lot of things. And in this video, I am going to show you what you need realize in order for you to detach. Hi guys, my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel. Okay, so first things first, um, you need to realize that when you're attached to something, you are operating from your ego. I read this book recently, it's from Gabriel Weinstein and it's called "Spirit junkie". I absolutely love the author. Definitely check it out. And in this book, she was kind of talking about detachment. And she basically said that our true essence is love. So we are love. When a baby is born, a baby is just loving, a baby doesn't hate themselves. A baby is just joyful and happy about life, but when we get older our ego starts to develop. When our ego starts to develop, we also become attached to things. We become attached to people and we idolize them or we idolize a certain lifestyle, whatever, right? You have to realize that this is your Ego. This is not you and this is not your true essence. This is not your love. If we were thinking from a love standpoint, we would believe that we can have everything we want and we can create anything we want and we can be with the person we want because we have that self-love. And when you have that self-love inside of you, when you're not controlled by your ego, then you attract everything. You would not get attached to someone or something because you know that you have abundance in your life. You know that whatever you want would come for you regardless because you know that you were put on this Earth to be blessed. Just because you are breathing, you can be blessed. You would know that your existence is enough to attract miracles. There is no lack in life if you're operating from love, but our ego makes us believe that we're not good enough. Our ego makes us believe that another person's life is better than yours and that you cannot have that, but that's not reality. Our ego makes us put other people on a pedestal and makes us obsess over them because it makes us feel like we're not good enough and we will never be on their level. But if you put like yourself and that person that you idolize in a situation where, for example, you guys are in a plane crash together and the plane is falling down. Do you think that other person is special? No, you wouldn't look at them that way. You would literally all just be fearing for your life. I think this is also a big misconception about the things that I preach, because I love to say "you're amazing", "you're special", "you're unique" to myself in the mirror. But that's also what I say to myself, to help myself with my self confidence and to work on my inner child and healing my inner child. At the same time, I do not go out and think that I am better than anyone or that I'm special, or that I'm unique. I'm not, we're all equal and we're all connected. I have set this multiple times: I bleed, you will bleed. Um, I leave this earth, you will leave this earth. Another way we get attached, especially in a relationship is because we think like, oh no, I will never find anyone like that again, but see, that's why you are in this lack mindset. You think that you cannot have more and that's the issue. Because I for example, I have a relationship. And in my relationship, I know that right now what we have, it's very nice, it's very good. But I'm not attached to my partner like that, because I know if he leaves something else will come and something better will come. I do not base myself completely on this relationship because I if I give my partner, the power to make me happy or make me unhappy, then then then I'm so powerless. It all depends on me. I can make myself happy, I can make myself fulfilled and whatever he gives me Is just extra. I'm not looking for someone to complete me because I'm complete myself. Anyone that has been in a long-term relationship knows that if you do not have that individuality in the relationship, and if you do not have separate hobbies, separate things that you guys like to do as well, you will become depressed. Because at the end of the day, everyone likes their space. Everyone needs some space sometimes, and you have to understand that. Another thing you have to realize is: everyone that comes into your life, has a purpose in your life. See, I believe throughout my whole life I have been guided. I have had so many miracles happen and honestly, I would love to talk about them but I think a lot of people are not ready to hear these things and they will not believe me simply. So I am not going to put these things out there. But I know for myself a lot of Miracles have happened in my life and I've always been guided but I've never realized at that moment that I was being guided. Certain people came into my life, certain things were being said to me, but I just took them as like, "oh, what a coincidence" but now that I am more aware I can see how I am being guided towards where I need to go, I can see that I have to trust my own intuition more in life. We are constantly being guided in life and the people that come inside your life have purpose. I believe that when we have a partner, I believe that when we meet certain people that we create something with, we have a soul contract with them. So that person is meant to be in your life. Whether it was a good relationship or was not a good relationship, that person was meant to be there to elevate you and it will always be elevating you. There is nothing bad about it. Even though it was a bad relationship, you became wiser because of it. You learned a lot about yourself and about other people. And that person was meant to teach you that that person was supposed to show you a site that you need to work on in life. I believe we are put on this Earth to work on our traumas. I believe that we are put on this Earth to constantly evolve and learn more and be willing to learn and become more conscious. I've I've had uh conversations with doctors, I've had conversations with artists, I've had conversation with other YouTubers that when I sat down and I talked to them, they made me realize so much about myself and they said the same thing. They said, "Liz, I can see that we were meant to meet because you made me realize this and now I can go work on this because turns out, I still am triggered by this situation and I didn't know." So when these people will come into your life, do not look at it as like, oh my God, why does this happen? No. What is this teaching me? What do I have to deal with that I didn't realize before? When you see that everyone has a purpose, you can also see that, oh, okay, when this relationship ends, that person did his purpose. You did your purpose in his life, he did his purpose in your life and then you guys were meant to separate. You guys were only meant to be together for a period of time. And when the contract ended, you guys were meant to separate. And when you have the understanding that life works that way, it becomes much easier to not attach yourself. Because you can see the value of the relationship, of the friendships, of the people in your life. Another thing is, you need to stop creating fantasies about the situation about this person. We as humans we naturally like to fantasize, right? But if you start to do that, you can make this person into something or the situation into something that they're not. Then after that you get upset because you think, "oh, why did they do that?" Because you created a false fantasy in your head about this person, but honey, they were never that person. You did that to yourself by creating this attachment. You have to go into situations, whether it's a job, whether it's a relationship thinking, it just is what it is. It will be what it is. Just go with the flow and don't try to create: oh it has to be like this, or this has to happen... No that means that you're not living in the present moment. If you're not living in the present moment, you will never be appreciative of it first of all and it will never be good enough for you. It will never be good enough. Because you know what? People cannot live up to your fantasy in your head, because your fantasy is not real. You're talking to real people. People are volatile, their emotions are volatile. You cannot base your whole rose-colored glasses that you have on life and say: that it has to be that way. We can never predict what will happen and you have to accept this. You can hope for the best possible outcome, but maybe some bad things happen because you were meant to learn something in that situation. But you did not calculate that in your fantasy. You just thought: I want everything to be perfect. But what if something bad happens, then you get sad about it and afterwards It would be perfect. So it doesn't go your perfect plan way but another way. Another thing is get a life. Like honestly, I think people that are so attached to other people, that are so attached to situations or whatever, I think these people have no life. Like honestly, because how can you even have the time to constantly focus on someone else? If you're constantly focusing on someone else or if you're waiting on your phone: "please text me". Like do you have nothing to do? Honestly, you have nothing to do? If you don't have a life. Life get a hobby. Like like uh gets passionate about something. Learn a new skill, go outside. Go for a walk but don't be constantly in your head like, oh my God, oh my God. Like "what are they going to text you? When are they going to do this?" like calm down. And it's just desperate. It's unattractive because it's like this person is your whole thing. Like this person can literally make you depressed in a second if they don't reply. It's embarrassing to be honest to be like that. If you are focusing on yourself, if you're focusing on getting better, that way if that person text you, if they don't text you, you don't really care. It's nice, it's cute and all these things. But when you're so focused on yourself as well, then like I said, they just add value into your life. They don't give you your worth because you define your worth already. You see: you are whole and they just add value. Like I said, you're operating from a lack mindset. Because you think, if you do not get this job, if you do not get this person, you will not have anything else anymore. Wich is not true. But if you put out that attachment to something, and if you're not willing to let go of that, then that is what you will get. Have to be willing to let go of past experiences. You have to be willing to let go of past relationships, right? I had this thing with my past relationship. He would always help me with everything. And I was not willing to let go of him because it was comfortable. Right? But I knew this relationship could not work out any longer, and it's not what I wanted, but I was so scared and I was in my lack mindset. I was thinking if I let go of him that I will not have something like this anymore. But I would constantly ask: please give me, please give me something like that. please give me real love, whatever. But I was not willing to let go of my ex. So then what I did is, one time even though I was uncomfortable and I didn't have anyone else I said, okay, you know what, I'm done. I do not care how much comfort he provides, I'm gonna let go of him. A couple months later, I met my partner that I have now and he has honestly been the best relationship I've ever had in my life. But see I was not receiving what was meant for me and for my highest good because I was not willing to let go of my other relationship because I felt comfortable in that. I had to create that detachment and I had to have that faith, that something better will come for me. And then that's when it all came. Another thing is what is FOMO? So FOMO means: fear of missing out. And a friend of mine, she came over for New Year's and and she basically, she asked me, she's like "Liz, do you ever get FOMO?" And I was like, "no, I don't get FOMO." I'm like, "Do you get FOMO?" And she's like, "Yeah, I get it all the time." But then I started to wonder why is that? Why do I not get that? And why does she have that? But my friend, she's like every other person, she just follows people on Instagram, her friends, whatever, like everyone... that's normal. And um, she she like she sees their lives, she looks at Instagram people, this whole social media world. Like I've told you guys, I do not check TikTok like videos. I do not check other Instagram accounts. I post my stuff. I do not read anything and I leave. I make social media work for me, I do not work for social media. This way I do not have a fear of missing out because I don't know what I'm missing out on. I don't know what other people are getting up to, and I don't care. Because if I do start to constantly look at other people's lives, I will start to compare myself to them. And I will start thinking, oh my God. Okay, am I doing enough? Maybe I should do better. And whatever and I will go into a big panic mode. So, you get attached to a false reality of happiness. Because most of those people are also not happy, but obviously, they're not going to post their sad moments because they don't owe you that to post their sad personal things, but they will post their best life. You will create again, a fantasy about their life and then you're upset because you're attached to a lifestyle that does not exist. True Value comes from your personality. True Value comes from your wisdom. True Value is how you treat other people. Another thing is you have to realize you will never arrive to happiness. If you attach yourself to something, anything. If I have that, I will be happy. If this happens, I will be happy. If I buy this, I will be happy. I used to have this mentality and let me tell you, I was never happy. If anything I got more depressed. Why? Because I had attached myself so much to a situation and I thought this would bring me happiness and when it didn't, I got depressed because of it. Even though I had that thing that I wanted. So you have to realize, nothing will make you happy. The happiness you are searching for outside is already within you. The love, you are searching for outside. It's already within you. I've spent many vacations where I was supposed to just rest and lay down and not worry about anything. Just completely in a panic mode and Restless because I was thinking I have to achieve this, I have to do this whatever. Otherwise, I'm not good enough and otherwise, I would not be happy. It completely took away my happiness. Like I honestly feel like I wasted that vacation because I was supposed to relax.
[17:15]Why was I not in the present moment? Why could I not appreciate it? Because I was attached to an outcome that did not make me happy. When I became detached from all of this, I can be happy right now. I'm standing in my kitchen. Thank you God. Like I'm happy just to be standing here. I'm happy that I can make a video for you guys. Like these things make me happy and right now, I feel grounded. I feel that I'm actually here. I don't feel that I'm chasing for a future or that I'm living in the future or that I'm living in the past. No, I'm actually in the present moment and I'm enjoying what I'm doing on a minute-to-minute basis. If you want to detach also have to realize that you will never leave you. You might think some people attached to people because they have abandonment issues and they think like, oh, I'm so attached, like they cannot leave me, whatever. You will never leave you. you are the one person you will always have in your life and in the Hereafter you will always have you. Okay? Maybe you won't have your physical body, but you will have your soul. In the hard times the one person, when you say nobody was there for me, the one person that was there was: you. You were there for you. So start acknowledging that. Give yourself some more credit. You were always there for you and you will always be there for you. So do not think like oh my God, like I will have no one when that person leaves me... you have you. And that's why I say: develop you more, work on yourself more, heal yourself. Look at the things that trigger you, heal those things, sit with yourself, Journal, meditate, go to therapy. Once you're so evolved and secure within yourself, you're not afraid that anyone will leave you. You do not think that you're alone because you you know, that you have you. I was talking to a girl and I basically told her, I was like, yeah, I have this like issue that I really enjoy being alone and I feel like I should go out and socialize and constantly like try to make friends, but I really like my solitude and I like being alone with myself. And she said, "but Liz that's so much better than not being able to enjoy your own company." and that is so true. Like imagine I could not sit with myself. And I constantly had to have people around. To conclude this all in order to have detachment. You should realize that there will never be lack because you were put on this Earth to be blessed and start to realize that. Start to realize that good good things are meant to happen to you. So, when you realize these things, then you literally you think like, oh Miracle should happen to me because that is what I deserve, because I am walking on this earth. Like um, I don't know who said it, but I heard it somewhere: "If God was done with you, you would not be alive." He's not done with you. He's not done with you and you're meant to be blessed. Whoever leaves you whenever you feel alone, you're never alone when you have yourself and if you believe in God, you have God as well. Start focusing on you. Start evolving yourself to the best way possible. And honey, it will be so liberating because you don't need anyone to determine your value. You don't need any situation to say, hey, if you get this, or if you get this person then you're valuable. No, honey, you're already valuable, just because you're alive. Just because you're breathing. Anyways, I love you guys so much. I hope you guys learned something and yeah, I see you in the next video. Love you. Bye bye.
