[0:00]The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
[0:08]Hey everyone, welcome back to The Real Stuff Podcast. You all know that this is a platform where I love allowing people to come on and open up about juicy, taboo, deep, dark stories. And today's guest is opening up big time and telling all. I first learned about Brett Fairley when his girlfriend, Nurse Hadley, came onto The Real Stuff as a guest. If you remember our recent episode with the hospice nurse Hadley, she came on, and we heard a lot about her career, but then she also dove in to this insane drama that has been unfolding across the internet, involving her current boyfriend, Brett Fairley. Stories are extremely nuanced, and you need to pay attention to the details. And Brett has put in the time to gather all of the evidence. He has receipts, he has photos, he has screenshots, he has the timestamps, he has everything. And he has compiled a binder of evidence to clear his name in the situation where he has been wrongly accused of something. I consider this story to be a story of abuse. I hope you'll give this episode a listen because Brett explains not only all the stuff that he's already sharing across his social media channels, but he also gives us a lot of personal deep insights that he hasn't shared elsewhere that really made me think. And if you want to do any of your own digging, I'm sure you can search it up and find as much as you want on the internet. I'll leave it at that because this was a long conversation, but let's get into it with Brett Fairley. Welcome to The Real Stuff Podcast. Thanks for having me. I of course had to show up to this episode with my tea, because you are giving us more tea than we deserve on the internet, and this story is absolutely mind-blowing. People are following you, thousands of people are following along with this saga that to date, as I'm recording this, there have been six parts that have come out. But you're still in the beginning of this story. Correct. Yeah, we're about halfway through, and there's just so much more to uncover. People are getting a little feisty, you don't want me to drop them faster, but, you know, this is a story that the devil's in the details and it just takes time. It sure does, but I don't know how much my audience knows about the whole story, and I don't want to spoil the ending of it, which is kind of the where we're at today. I know you're not done dropping all the parts on your social media, so we will tell people where they can go after this to finish the rest of the story, but let's tell the story up to where you've shared so far with the public. That all goes back to the night of December 12th, 2020, the first night that you met Maria. Correct, that fateful night. Me and my brother actually go get lunch and we go eat some crawfish, we're in the south, it's like a delicacy down here. As soon as we walk in, there's a birthday party going on and lo and behold, it's Maria's birthday party, two weeks early. You know, we start drinking and they've already been drinking a lot and they invite us to their birthday party, you know, if he table's over. One thing turn to another, and we ended up going out that night and we had a one-night stand. You know, after that, I'd see her around and I actually knew that she had hooked up with a few of my friends. Just to be clear, do the two of you live in the same small town? Well, she's originally from here, but she was living in New Orleans at the time. Okay, so you just run into her at this restaurant, you start talking to her, you have a one-night stand. How old are you at this time? At this time, I just turned 24. Did you have any attraction to her? Did you feel any emotional connection to her after hanging out with her or it was really just, I'm drunk and going home with someone? It was really just me being 24. I'm drunk, and I'm going home with someone tonight. Okay, so she was coming to visit where you lived, she kind of became a friend and someone that you and your friends saw around. Yeah, it's a small town, so, you know, we're going out every weekend and it's like one or two bars to go to, so you always see people that are regulars. And so how many of your friends did she also get with? Uh, I can count at least two, but I know in hers it's got to be how many. Now take us to the spring of the following year, 2021. Okay, so 2021 in April, she asked me to be a sperm donor to get her pregnant. And at first I'm like, fuck, no, I'll never do that. After some convincing, I was like, I felt like I was doing something nicer somebody. Okay, wait, we got to backtrack here. How tight of a relationship did you guys have in this interim time period that she would even consider coming up to you and asking you that kind of question? We never text or talk to anything. It was it was out of a nowhere text that I got. It was out of nowhere. Okay, so wasn't like you guys were hanging out all the time. No. And you would never have described her as a friend. We were friendly like I felt like I was doing something for a friend. Like if someone asked you nicely if you're like, you know, hey, can I borrow $20. I was like, yeah, like, I'll you $20 bucks, whatever. Okay, what was her rationale? I really want to be a mom. Oh, by the way, we didn't even mention, how old was she at the time? I think she was 30 or just turned 31. Okay, and so how did she phrase this to you? I really want to be a mom. What did she say? She said that she's been single forever, you know, hasn't had good luck with men, and all of her friends are having kids, and she was of the age where she really wanted a kid, didn't think it was gonna happen, you know, otherwise. I've heard you talk about this being the single, you know, in hindsight, worst decision of your life, and you in your words call yourself a dumb idiot, a young guy who made a big mistake, and you have no problem calling yourself out. Yeah, I mean, in hindsight, it's always 20/20. But, you know, at the time, you're like, yeah, I've already hooked up once, like, sure.
[5:51]I just want to go back to it because a lot of people make really stupid decisions in their teens and, you know, you could even get a pass on certain decisions in your early twenties. But what could have possibly in your life led you to say yes to this? Was it that she offered money and you needed the money? Are you just this naive, nice person who wants to help others, and you can't say no, and you're a people pleaser? Like tell us, Brett, why did you do this? I really thought I was just doing something nice for somebody. I've always been a giver, and I don't know. I just, I, my, you know, they say people like, they receive gifts, they don't like it, they're like they give instead. I'm one of those people, I feel weird people give me stuff, but if I can give stuff away, I'm like, I love it, you know, it makes me feel good. Did you think at all about the child and how they might come looking for you years down the line? Um, I mean, I, initially, I want to say, yeah, because I I originally said no, and I was like, I don't want anything to do with that. But you know, at the same time, if I can give someone the gift of life, and you know, I feel like I'm doing something holy at this point. You know, I'm getting ready to to move across the country. I'm in my, I want to travel phase, so I'm like, I'm not too concerned and looking too far down the line. You referred to yourself as this discount sperm donor. Yeah. How much did she pay you? Uh, I actually received zero dollars, so it was the pitch of, you know, IVF costs a lot, we've already hooked up, like, we just do me, do me a solid, do me a favor. Okay, you agree. Did you tell anyone in your life that you were doing this? I think I told one or two friends and they called me a fucking idiot. It's not like I was dead set on it either too, like it just, I said yes, and then, you know, it just happened, I don't know. I I never had anyone try to really talk me out of it. Just to understand the mechanics of this, because any couple that's tried to conceive knows that it's not always one shot. There's sometimes months and months of trying before you actually successfully get pregnant. How many times did it take before you were told that it was successful? Two weekends. So I can account for the day that she told me she got her arm implant out. That was her birth control implant. It was, yes, it was uh, in her arm, she had it removed, and, you know, shortly after that there's two weekends in a row that we're together. And then I go out of town for a week for Memorial Day in California and come back and that's when she tells me she's pregnant. I'm like, sick, congrats. Something that's really interesting about this whole story with her is that from the very start of this all, like even starting around this time, when you slept with her again, for this purpose, she is, it seems, trying to convince people around her, in her social sphere and in your social sphere that the two of you are in a relationship, and she's constantly posting photos of the two of you together anytime you're together, trying to get a photo and uploading it to her personal social media accounts, which by the way, she's not an influencer, she has a small following of her friends, you know, she's just a real person, she would be posting you in these photos. So at this time, she was kind of putting that on display, correct? Yeah, correct. And I'd be, you know, in these photos, and I would never share them to my profile. And your plan was to get her pregnant, and then you were preparing to move to California. Yep, I was prepping to move to California. I had a friend that joined the military. I went out and visited. that's where he got stationed and I visited and fell in love with it. So I bought an old ambulance and I was going to convert it to an RV and drop it out there. She tells you she's pregnant, and throughout this time of her pregnancy, correct me if I'm wrong, but she kind of starts, for lack of a better word, weaseling her way into your life. She's befriending your mom, she's starting to text your mom. Tell us what happened there. So I'm out of town every weekend and you're either there like working on that van so I can move. And it it felt like this stranger, even though allegedly gotten her pregnant, she was like trying to hijack my life. It was like someone like doing identity fraud, but like trying to like take all your friends and family. It was just odd. What kind of stuff was she saying to your friends? I don't know, like, I mean, she obviously loves Facebook and she would just like Facebook, friend all my, uh, you know, send friend requests to my friends and family and just act like me and her were like this couple or a family, I'm not sure. Um, I just know during the pregnancy that she was mainly reaching out to my mom. And so she's basically saying to your mom that she wants her to be there at the birth and at what point in this pregnancy does she change her tune from being like, this is going to be no drama, no strings attached, you can move back to California, to wait, I actually want us to be some sort of a unit. Um, so whenever she started reaching out to my mom, she told my mom that she, you know, didn't get along with her family, and she had no one, and she actually asked my mom to take care of the baby if anything ever happened to her, Maria. So you, my mom's relaying this to me and she's like, you know, they're indirectly pressuring me to be there for the birth and be in this baby's life. So you had no plans of being at the birth? No, not initially. I, you know, once I got her pregnant and I moved, I had no thoughts of ever coming back. And then what made you go and be there? I guess whenever my parents told me that a little girl's going to grow up without a dad, and at this point, you know, there was communication right up before the birth of me and Maria. I was like, look, my parents probably right, you know, and then she initially then reiterated that I wouldn't be financially responsible, like, you know, I can just come and go as I please, blah, blah, blah, and that's not how it ended up happening. So you go to the birth, and you're very much in dad mode at this birth, despite the fact that you and Maria are not in a relationship, and the two of you are not, you know, expressing any love towards each other. You are the first person to hold the baby, you signed the birth certificate. Let's talk about that day. We go to the hospital, and it is like going to the birth of a stranger's child. I don't know if you ever like watch the sex ed videos of, you know, a child birth. I didn't, this is my first time seeing this, and I'm like looking at a stranger, like we didn't talk, I don't know anything about this. I don't even know her middle name, I don't even know how old she was really at the time, and you know, I'm have to go like looking, go through all this intimate stuff with someone that I don't even know. Did you like watch her push a baby out? Uh, yeah, I did. I was in the room the entire time. And was she trying to hold your hand, trying to get support the way someone would from a spouse? No, I wouldn't say it was like that at all. I was just kind of, you know, off in the distance. Yeah, I was the stranger in the room watching her push a baby out. Okay, got it. You see this intimate primal moment, and then they give you the baby? Yeah, I was so, initially, you know, the doctor takes the baby and hands hands the baby to me, and I'm the first person, aside from the doctor, to ever hold this baby. And you know, then under the circumstances, you think that everything you've been told is true, and someone hands you a baby and you're looking at it and you think it's yours, like there's something in you that this clicks. I'm sure for mothers too, but as a dad, you're like, okay, like I really need to get my life in order, like I need, I need to make sure she has a great future. Yeah, wow. I mean, parents, we know the emotions around a baby being put in your arms for the first time, and whether or not you feel, you know, immediate acceptance of your new role as a mother or father, there's something in you that changes, and you do feel this primal desire to support the child in some way. Yeah, it's a, if if until you've done it, it's a really important first that I think everyone should go through. It just changes you, that it makes you look at everything differently, it it really is eye-opening. Would you say that you felt immediately connected to the baby? Yes, I I I felt like I had to be there to protect her, like I made the right decision being there. Okay, now, after the baby is born, let's talk about the birth certificate, because a lot of people on social media are hung up on the fact that your biggest mistake in this situation is actually not agreeing to get her pregnant, but it's signing the birth certificate. And can you just explain legally what are you doing when you sign that paper and what are you saying? Okay, so I'm, you know, taking care of the baby, whenever you have a baby, you know, there's no tips and tricks, like there's little posters on the wall, but, you know, you just have to start figuring it out. And I'm taking care of the baby, you're feeding her, changing her diapers, and the nurses come in with forms, and I don't I didn't know, I don't know if you knew this your first baby, but going in, did you know you're going to be signing the birth certificate that day? I didn't. I guess I didn't think about it, I kind of guess I maybe thought they would have mailed it. Yeah, like I, I mean, anything government wise, I thought came two weeks in the mail. Um, so I definitely didn't expect to be signing anything that day, but. I'm going to be honest, I don't even remember signing a birth certificate. I I was just in court and they provided these documents. I had no idea, I did not remember signing those. What does it actually say that you are a legal guardian? Uh, yeah, so I'm actually on the birth certificate as the father, and there's also another form called Acknowledgement of Paternity. And when they presented that, my name was all over it. You know, it basically states that you have a year within of the birth to get a paternity test, and then after that, you hereby forfeit all your rights. Like, you are legally binding forever, can't break this contract father. Does everyone sign that? Yes, at least in Mississippi, that's all I can speak on, but, um, there's don't there's only one way to get out of it, and that is to prove fraud, which is incredibly hard to do. Okay, we're getting somewhere now. Tell us about right after the birth. I know she set up a newborn shoot, she's sharing photos on Facebook, she's kind of making it look like you guys are this happy little family, but what is your dynamic with her and the baby at that stage? I am with the baby for for two weeks, I guess it was exactly a week later after she was born. You know, I'm in my dad role. She told me that we're going to have a photo shoot, I was like, okay, like that's normal, and she said that she had ordered my dog, a little handkerchief, he was going to be in them. My dog Max goes with me everywhere. Um, so I was like, okay, like, that's, like, fine, I guess. My friends come over and get pictures with the baby, too. Just so I understand this, after you kind of had a change of heart, did you decide I'm not moving to California? No, I was still moving to California because based off the conversation we had before I even came home for the birth, she assured me that I was still able to come and go as I please, like I would I wouldn't be financially responsible, basically, still no responsibilities. So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get the paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful, and I think that is probably statistically true. But whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm, and if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of the show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[21:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of this show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[26:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of this show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[31:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of this show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[36:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of this show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[41:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging. Yeah, I mean, you hear about it all the time and it it sucks when it happens at an older age. But I think that it is just a basic human right that everyone should know who their real parents are. Do you have any thoughts on what justice in your perfect scenario would look like for Maria? Um, you know, if I was her, I would just own it. I would, I would be like, yeah, like, I I fucked up. You know, maybe seek some some professional help and why she would do something like this. I I really think that that's a lost cause. People like her, narcissists, in my opinion, they they won't get help, they'll always point the finger at someone else and try to deflect. I can say that I've had episodes of this show where I've brought on someone to tell a story and I always try to make it clear that there are obviously two sides to every story and based on who you're talking to or who you hear from, you might form an opinion that sways you in one direction or the other. But I have to say, you showed up to this conversation and approaching telling your side of the story with facts and receipts and a binder of data and timestamps and information that is kind of unshakable, on top of actually having friends and family members to back up every step of the way, as well as scientific evidence and tests to prove your side of the story. I've seen how this has gone before without coming with stuff like this, and video 6 is actually going to tell you exactly why I have a binder with all these receipts. I am inclined to agree with you and your take on the fact that abusers, in whatever form it is, need to be stood up to, and I think it is really brave that you're going against a court order to speak out, and hearing you share about how you had to grieve that loss, that wasn't even really an element that many people are probably thinking of with this story, but that's probably the saddest, worst part of the story. So thank you for opening up about that. I think there's probably so many people out there who are following along, listening, and just hoping that justice is served in some way. If you could map it out in your perfect case scenario, what is justice? Justice for this would be, you know, me being able to to help other people. Like, I I know that my case, at this current standpoint, until the law's changed, you know, I'll I'll I'll bring the attention and I want to be able to lobby and get laws changed, so I can protect men's rights in situations like this. Because not only do does this happen to, you know, people who aren't married, it happens to married couples all the time, too. And I just think that if you're going to be making a commitment like that, women should be able to keep their biological, you know, trust and promise to men, and knowingly let them know that that's not enough. You need, you can't trust everyone. You know, people are lied to every day, and, um, you know, married people are lied just like single people are lied. And it's just the stigma needs to be taken away of DNA test accusing somebody. It it just needs to be all the cards are on the table. This is what we know, it's like adopting a kid. You never, if that's not yours, you're going in with these decisions that I'm going to raise this kid as my own.
[46:26]So, in short, are you proposing that in every hospital or at every birth, there is a DNA test done upon birth? I think anyone who would disagree with that, their husband or boyfriend should probably get a paternity test. They're hiding something. If a man, you know, he knows that he did his job to make the baby, if he is at work and, you know, Jody comes over and they they actually make the baby. He doesn't know that. Only the woman if she's not being truthful, you know, he's going into this blind thinking he he's the only possible viable father. There's no reason to question it. I think it's a really interesting conversation to have and might give some women pause, primarily because historically, I think it's more common for a man to be unfaithful. And I think that is probably statistically true, but whether or not it is, it's just from a societal standpoint, that's kind of the norm. And if you heard that there was some infidelity, you often believe that it was the man. I completely agree with you. But you're right that from the side of the man, if the woman was unfaithful, the man might never know, and I'm sure your story has happened to other people, many other people in the history of humankind who have then gone on to raise the kid and maybe even found out about this DNA way later in life when it is way more complicated and emotionally damaging.
